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我的最新日志

• why I wrote blogs in English?

  2007-11-01

    So long a time that I hadn't writern English blogs, let alone read some English materials. SInce I went to the newspaper office last month for learning some things, I had decided to write blogs in Chinese. As a matter of fact, I tried to do it. Because so many friends asked for me to write something that they could understand. However, I still persisted in.That's why the rate of my blogs-reading was low all the time. But I had never care about it. The only perpose of writing in English was to record my feelings and moods which I did not want other people knew. Those Chinese articls were just some insipid things that included few emotions.
     For example, the situation of doing practice reporting these days or just some travelings. As a matter of fact, when I wrote in Chinese, I couldn't write it as free as in English. I had to consider its fluence and meaning, the most important was I was not able to express my ideas completely and directly. But it's different in English. It's unnecessary think more of those things, just wrtie under the condition to use the write senteces and expressions. It's absolutely ok to write my own thoughts without worrying about being understood by other persons.

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• In Lhasa

  2007-10-14

  The first day 9.8.
     This was my second time to go to Tibet, no more exciting, no more strang, while I went down from the ariplane. Again, I smelt the freash air, saw the blue sky and white clouds and visited the familiar land which I stayed two days in the airport last summer.  My hard breath with every slow step I moved forward. Because I was afraid to have  xxxx . Although I cared about my every action, my face became red and hot, my breath became hard and quick also, even if I went on the bus to the Lhasa city, whose hight was lower than the airport, I got a headache. I had a rest in the hotel which my friend had booked it to me the last day. All the pains damaged my mood to see him, in addition, he had no time to stay with me and had to go back to work. So I was alone in the hotel.
      I was waiting for him until night, actually, I was very angry without pleasure. Maybe, you might not believe it. But it's true. The whole afternoon and night, I did not know what he was doing, There were no reception from my call and short messages. I was really worried about him and even had some adoults. It's impossible that he played games with me and pretended to diappear. I really couldn't accept what his attitude was if he did not explain the reason why he left me alone so long a time the next day.
     That night, I did not sleep well and it's sure that I didnot go to sleep. One was for the XXX envrionment which was hard to go to sleep. the other was for the impression the place and the people gave. Maybe, the first time I went to the magic place, it gave me imagion and exciting, but now, I felt it's not good as before. It became a little dirty, a little YONGSU. everything was seen old , which was not what we called historical, but stubon. So that nothing atrracted me. lying on the bed, I though, the following days, I would stay in the hotel except to have meal with him . I was afraid of the strong sunshine outside, the smelling beef, the cold air, the Zang natinality people and those places I had ever walked.

  
  9.9
     Wandering in the city with him, no feeling, we just looked for some place to eat. That's the only thing that I was interested in. Here, the most famous reataurants were the Tibeten food and western food. Because there were so many vistors not only from other provinces in China but also other countries. So a large number of them were offered these kind of food to satisfy all kinds of need. I liked them very much. They were very special and smart, filled with 异域风情. All their equipments and entertainments were decorated with Zang nationality symbles and writern in three languages chinese, zang and English. We chose one called Lhasa kitchon, and had some western foods and Indian foods. It's good, especially sitting by the window from which we could see the Da zhao temple and  clowed visters, also the beatiful sunshine. Many foreigners loved to come here and enjoyed their meals like us. I thought, any restaurant you went, you could find it's speciality, not just its food. After meal, we walked around the walking street which was not so crowed as in some modern cities, but there were so many 品牌 clothing having no discounts. In order to be more familier with the city, we took on the bus and decided to start a bus-sightseeing. It's prety good for me that we saved both time and energy.

  
  9.10 Played with my schoolmate's girlfriend
  9.11 Got ill
  9.12 Have meal with a friend of my brother

    
  9.13.
    Waiting and waiting, always waiting. It was nearly a task in my daily life. I still remenbered that when I was in primary school, I bagan to wait for my friends to go to school or go out to play. I could promise to say that I was a time-keeping person. If there was a required time I would be on time whatever something happended.

  9.14
     Freash air and strong sunshine outside, but it felt cold in the morning and in the evening. Went out alone to buy some goods for the long jounery on the train.
  9.15
     As usual, I got up late in the morning, and had bathing and breakfirst. Acturally, it's a very simple meal, just ate some snackes or even ignored it. Then, seeing the strong sunshine and smelt the cold air, I looked through the window to see those limited seneries. Sometimes, I would go out to surf in Internet in order to kill time, but most of the whole morning, I stayed in the hotel to watch TV, and waited for his coming to have meals. Disappointly, everytime he broke the dated time, and I had to suffer the XXX with big angers. So we had lunch after 2:30 and had supper after 8, maybe more late or did not to eat

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• A war without smoke

  2007-8-26

    Been in bad mood for several days, plus my occasional illness, it's hard to imagion how I killed the time day by day. I had to try to be accustomed to the changed attitude to me, in fact, at previous time I did not know the reason. Just thought that there might be something wrong with his working envrionment, which leaded to some troubles. But, I was totally wrong, it's for my family and me. What had happended I really did clear about it. In those days I only took the pressure from his strange attitude and even it received one or two short messages, which were some blaimed information.
     So, it's better that there was not any connection, otherwise, we would quarrel with each other. Sometimes I would think that we were in different city, but there was the same contradiction as those of people in the same city. It's horrible. I controled my feelings and tried to hide my sadness when I got his calls or stayed with my friends. As a matter of fact, I couldn't bear it. Until I heared the news from my mother, everything was out of the water. Part of the reason was really for me, however, it's unavoidable to produce  misunderstandings. So he had to take some responsibilities. It's complexing to deal with this kind of thing. Although, he sent me roses which were pretty good and sweet in seventh, July  in Chinese Calender, I got not much exciting. I even threw away in the third day when the roses were still blossomed.
     That moment, I could not control my angers for his bad words. "Calm down and calm down", I said to myself, everything would go away. In the fowllowing days I still did my own things according to my schedule. That's it. Time will solve all the problems. We, at last, returned to normal after communication.

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• Mistaking

  2007-8-12

    It's very hot outside taday, but my friend and I still fowllow our previous decision to have meal far away from our school. About 20 minutes' taking bus near the Si Chuan University. It's a foreign restaurant named Peter's Tex Mex Grill offering mainly Mexcican  food with which we were very familious such as fruit and vegetable salad, sanwich, pizza, coffee and other special services. Oftenly, the environment of western resterants were comfortable. Many charteristic decorations, sweet aromance and kind waitress and waiters, in all, sat everywhere in the house, we could feel the exotic atmosphere. Listenning to the foreigh music, tasting the delicious food, having a friendly look of the foreigners around us and smelling the cool air. It's pretty good.
     While we were immersed in the envrionment, I was surprised by a foreigner sitting opposite me. He wore an earphone drinking his coffee. He gave me some words, but I did not hear clearly. I could guess what's his meaning. He seemed asked me why I was laughing at him. It's really strange. I didn't know the reason and felt ridiculous. At that time, I just talked with my friend smiling all the time. Moreover, I was sure I laughed, not him but a comer who was a nun. It was a mistaken. After that, I had never seen at that direction. Because I was afraid to be misunderstood. That foreigner also changed another seat outside. Although, it was hot.
     Oddly, we met with him after going out. More surprising, he said hello to me, and repeated his views to my action. I was awkward and had to explained to him again and again. Maybe it's a taboo in his country, but just a little misundertanding.

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• Troublesome

  2007-8-06

    I did not feel any pleasure although I past the driving exam after three times failure, by contrast, I began to wworry about the fowllowing trainings . Today some learners of us were quarreling with the  wife of our master because she wanted us to hand in two handred each in order to increase the rate of pass. But in the fact, the opportunity we met was not their effort, their action was really a kind of extorting money. so we did not do it according to their thought. That's why we got a very bad motion each other. That was to say, we were going to be in trouble in the next practice.
      For more, I was ingnored by him again. I did not know how many times it had happened. It seamed that this had been his habit or his personality. No responding, no careness. I couldn't bear it. If there was the ridiculous secret, if there was something unneccessary to dicuss, if there was always guess, how could we meet with our future?
     Sorry, I just wanted to say. I would not open your QQ-Zone, maybe I really encroached in your private thing. But I asked your permission to open. In all, I was in troublesome.
     

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• Failure

  2007-7-23

     Thinking of some of my experiences, it seemed that I was a failurer on birth. eveything I met, it ended in failure. Time and time again, I lost my confidence and had to accept the brutal reality. The same time to go to the driving training class, the same to practice, the same persons, but, I was always behind. At the first time, I did not pass the test, while they obtain what they need. The next time, when they learnt forward and success again, I was sad for my the second failure. I came back to the basic practice. Really, I couldn't control my emotion when the result broght me the big hit. Why? I wanted to cry, but now there was no tear, because I was thoroughly in the station of disappoitment. Time, energy, money, sweet or other payments, none of them was worthful for me. At last, it was in vain.

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• No words

  2007-7-19

     I know there is one day when we would say that live happily forever with the right person, but in the fact, it's nearer and nearer. It may be difficult  for us to accept the fact, after all, we had knowen each other for more than one year. However, things that we had never thought happened. I was always blaiming of myself it's my fault that let you in the situation of undecision. Because of me, you broke off the good relationship between you and your leaders, so that you met with many obstacles in the working. Because of me, you might face the possibility to leave the army force, but you still could not shake off ending from our friendship. Because of me, you changed three train stations twice in order to see me in the period of year holiday, although, it might not your origional idea. I still remenbered the time when we were in the same city, you pretended or lied to your leader to win the less than 30m' meeting. It's tired and hard , that's my only feeling.
     Tibet, minitary forces, both of them were my desires, but both of them left me pains as well as pleasures. Because of them, my phone fees growed rapidly. Because of them, I took risk of altitude reaction to go to Lhasa. Because of them, I flied from Shang Hai to Cheng Du to catch up with the Valentine’s day but missed the Spring festival in Shang Hai. Because of them, I paid more attention about  minitary affairs. Because of them, I gave up to review my subjects to strive for more limited time to be together, because there were only one afternoon and one night, next morning, it became the last time we departed forever. Maybe, we could never met again. Exciting and tearing existed together. But all in all, so many moving moments was broken by the reality.
    
    

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• So Unlucky

  2007-7-09

      At this very moment, I just wanted to cry with the motion of sadness and helplessness. Although I thought I had a good training, I failed in the Driving Test today at last. All of them past except me. When I was called to get off the car, I couldn't help tearing. It's neverous and unlucky. That's the only words comcorted myself. Now only I could experience the feeling that one person's lonly was a group of people's revelry. There was still a chance, but it meant that it's much dangerer and more neverous, and I had to spend more time to practice. It's pity to kill time to repeat the same action.

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• Driving and dancing class

  2007-6-21

     Having been in the state of wondering for several days, I did not focus on any meanful things. If there was no driving training in schedual, my life would become even worse. Undoubtly, it's a long and hard process, not only took up much energy, but also our time. Because we had to wait for turn even though we might arrive at the place earlier, because there were really so many learners. That's the reason why our driving was crully controled withion 20m. Besides driving class, I also had dancing class every Tuesday night. Comparing with driving, dancing was moree easying and relaxing. Although, we must learn some basic steps, we felt enjoyable from its gracful latin music and dancing movement. Moreover, after class, we were relaxing and comfortable without tired and boring like driving.
    Driving and dancing, it's said that our life was colorful and richful. However, it's only our previous thoughts, when we kept on day by day, they nearly became my burden. After all, it's absolutely new for us.
    But I still love latin dancing, which will put me into the world of music. Dancing class was over, but driving was still going on. In addition to that, there were more difficult things in front of us, such as preparing final exam, writing graduation paper and looking for jobs and so on.

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• At a loss

  2007-6-13

  
    One usually gets the feeling that it's empty in mind after several day's harding working or playing in our heart's content. Maybe it was a situation to the extreme, just like a ripple fluctuated to the top and to the lowest point. Sending the papers to the magazine agency by E-mails, unfortunetely there was no respont, saying Goodbye to the Czech Republican children troup, passing the principle of driving test, I returned to my common daily life. As usual, I used to going to the library to read some magazines and surfing in Internet while in the dormitory or writing blogs, but there were certain pasions missing and something disorder. I was confused.
     Less than one month, we had to end the semester. It not only meant this semester was over, but also the whole time when we studied in the acadamy, so what we had to meer was to start thinking of the graduation paper and trying to look for jobs. BUt there were difficults in front of me. I had not found out in which field I was interested.
     As for my previous major in English, I was not the best, just possessed more abilities concerned English. However,I was still lack of professional skiils. Now I learnt Jounerlism, it's more challenging for me, because I was poor in expression, thinking and accumunation of knowledge. Two year's study, I just knew a general frame of the subject without having a deep reserch in some field.
     Time goes on rapidly, I had to make decisions immediately. Whether working in a media, in a company or in a goverment, I was still pacing up and down.

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