This morning my supervior gave us a lecture about Imperial Examinations. He didn't begin with the descrīption of process of Imperial Examinations, he encouraged the students to discuss the death. He stated his view of points from death to life, from individual to society. All the academic research is to answer these questions: what a life should be led by us, what a society should be accepted by us, what a country should be built by us......

My supervisor said, " the meaning of life only lies in life itself. When life perished, anything else which are based on it would be perished too......" However, with the development of civilization, we stress those originally attached to life more than life itself......

I could not express my supervisor's opinion accurately since my english is so poor. I like my supervisor very much. He is trying to find the truth of life.

I will die someday too. What a life should I lead? What can I leave in the world after my dead?

Remember a poem written by Emily Dickinson : After a hundred  years. 

After a hundred years

Emily dickinson

    After a hundred years

    Nobody knows the place，——

    Agony that enacted there，

    Motionless as peace.

    Weeds triumphant ranged，

    Strangers strolled and spelled

    At the lone orthography

    Of the elder dead.

    Winds of summer fields

    Recollect the way，——

    Instinct picking up the key

    Dropped by memory.

This afternoon the major editor of Shanghai People Publishing House gave us a lecture about the publishment of Chinese ancient books. Tomorrow is a very famous historian's birth date-- His name is Deng Guang Ming and he has been dead for nine years. Professor Deng gave many useful instructions to the major editor on academic study and the publishment of Chinese ancient books. So the major editor talked about Professor Deng as well as the publishment of Chinese ancient books. The major editor went to the airport immediately after the lecture. He was going to take part in a international conference which will be held in Japan. Oh, I realize I know nothing about our ancient culture! We have so brilliant and ancient culture, however, we know nothing about it for many many years! I am wondering why we didn't read one of them during my middle-school study.

This evening I attended a class about Zhou Yi. Zhou Yi is a classic philosophy works. Millions of intelectuals studied it for thounds of years and could not understand it clearly. Tonight was the first class about it. I could not understand what the teacher said completely. However, I want to go to the class every time. Because this book is so important in history. If we know nothing about it, we can not understand ancient chinese philosophy.

One of my roommates went to listen to a report tonight. The lecturer is a professor in Chinese Literature Department of our university. He compared the culture difference and relation between Japan and China in a very unique angle. My roommate told me some details of this lecture. She said, " we should be proud of our ancient culture. It is so beautiful and profound. We should study hard with our ancient culture......"

Yes, it is true. However, I have to use most of my time to study english! There are so many ancient books to be read, but I haven't enough time......

This afternoon I went to my Japanese class. My Japanese teacher was dunning a supermarket manager for payment there. It is a big supermarket. We had the class in my Japanese teacher's car like before. My Janpanese teacher is not a real teacher in a school. He just helps me to study Japanese. I always got a low grades in all quiz...... I am not an intelligent student. I was just studying lesson 5 today-- elementary Japanese language. I don't know when will finish one book:)

It is raining today. I feel not very good today. I find it is so difficult to study well. Because my english is poor, I have to take a lot of time to study english. I could not squeeze much time to work on my ancient chinese books. And, I have to study Jananese in the meantime.

Where should I go after graduate? Should I try to pass the exam for a certificate for teaching job? I have so many exams to take, however, I could not be capable of doing all this. I am so tired of life.

I haven't made call for my son for some time. I don't want to irritate his grandfather and grandmother. I want to wait for their calm and then come to see my son.

Raining......