It has been 3weeks since I came to my space last time.The day of life is so carm that i can't feel it being away.

To be happy or not that deppends on yourself.In another word the mood of yours is mostly drived by yourself. Several days ago I am nearly on the bottom of the valley,but everyday I must get up and deal with everything.When you are talking or working with others, you must keep a nice mood.Cause no one could understand your mood and you can't show your bad mood to others.Day after day the bad mood has been away,then you will have a nice mood.

If you can conceal all your mood and you will be popular by others.

The worst message was sending by myself.Though it is wrong,I relaxed myself from the press.Now I understand the saying of weep with a smile.The wrong choose is my best choose,I told myself with weeping smile.

So much press has been on my side,I feel I will get down:looking for work,graduation work,things under my heart.Every night when I am on bed,my eyes will be open for a long time though I feel very tired.

There is an old saying,choose is the most difficult thing for everyone.With time going too much things need our own decision.Our parents let us to decide for our life.That is an experience.

I don't know how to deal with it.But I know that I should depend on myself.Everything will be OK ,this is what my MOm told me.

Now that I am no longer young， I have friends whose mothers have passed away. I have heard these sons and daughters say they never fully appreciated their mothers until it was too late to tell them

I am blessed with the dear mother who is still alive. I appreciate her more each day. My mother does not change， but I do. As I grow older and wiser， I realize what an extraordinary person she is. How sad that I am unable to speak these words in her presence， but they flow easily from my pen.

How does a daughter begin to thank her mother for life itself? For the love， patience and just plain hard work that go into raising a child? For running after a toddler， for understanding a moody teenager， for tolerating a college student who knows everything? For waiting for the day when a daughter realizes her mother really is?
How does a grown woman thank for a mother for continuing to be a mother? For being ready with advice(when asked ) or remaining silent when it is most appreciated? For not saying:”I told you so”， when she could have uttered these words dozens of times? For being essentially herself—loving， thoughtful， patient， and forgiving?

I don’t know how， dear God， except to bless her as richly as she deserves and to help me live up to the example she has set. I pray that I will look as good in the eyes of my children as my mother looks in mine.

 

Several days ago I sent a message to him who was a boy I like for many years.I had no enough courage to say that directly.But I don't want the secret in my heart for ever.And I sent a message to him.The words of that message is not so obvious and his answer to this message is also  not so obvious.

  This is the first time to say something to the male,and I feel so shy.How to deal with this?Should I continue to contract with him to get his obvious answer or should I  be disappear from his life?Now I know that he dosen't like me or he will answer to me directly.

  Someone told me that you should do your best to let him notice you.If you don't try your best to do that you will feel regret after several years.But he is my classmate,if there is no result between us there will be bad affection.

  How to deal with this.

The day I left home to school,Mom saw me off.She let me seat myself on the bus and had the ticket for me.The moment the bus start I saw Mon standing on the plat alone and my tears are full of my eyes.The words are too few to describe the love my Mom giving me.Everytime I go home Mom is always standing on the station to wait for me.Mom said"As long as I get a little shadow of you and your brother I will recognize you and guess your mood,high or low..."That's true we can't conceal ourselves before my Mom.

  Mom was standing there though the bus had been away.

  The fall rain in on after the hot summer.With my eager,the cool rain comes to me.Walking in the cool and thin rain,I feel like walking on the beach of the sea,the soft wave slapping on my foot.I feel like soaping in the light music with my heart flying away.

  I love the fall,the yellow leaf,the light rain,the cool wind.The fall is also a season of heavest.Raising my head to looking the blue sky and the yellow-green leaf coming to my eyes, the colourful world often attracts me deeply. Blowing in the cool wind I always feel that this is the real one of me.The wind let me carm.We know that the fall is also gold which is the colour of the fruit.

  Enjoying the fall I prefer to see the sea,the blue sea,the blue sky and the cool wind with the smell of the sea.But who can compair with me to the sea?

  Love the fall.Prey to the other one can love the fall too,and likes to see the blue  sea with me.

Hearing the sound of military training the memory of my collage life is back to my mind.Six years ago I walking the campus with a young heart.We are the same and are full of hopes to the collage life.Time flies.Six years has passed without my notice.Now too much trouble is on the front of me,graduation paper,job,looking for a boyfriends to answer my parents.Oh,now I must say bye to my enjoyable collage life.

New term began.New troubles are also on.Give me some courage please.

I am the one who dosen't like to take the umbrella unless the rain is heavy.Just now I walked in the light rain and felt so relax.The rain was like the cool wind blowing to you.You could image how enjouyable it was after several hot days.The memory was flying with my chearful pace.Suddenly the one person looked at me with a stange expressions and I found that the rain had been heavy.Giving him a smile I continued my light pace.

Walking in the rain without umbrella is a boring thing but walking in the rain with umbrella is a romantic one.So someone  showed his pity to me when I was walking in the rain without umbrella.But I felt so enjoyfull.That depends on yourself.Wether in unfavourable or favourable situation your feeling depands on yourself not the outside.

Seeing his QQ but we have no words with each other though we maybe have too many words to talk.You will feel amazed.That's true,because we understand each other so deeply.We don't know how to start the topic.He wii know my answers to his questions and I also gust his.So we just stay there quietly. This situation will end when one of us having the lover.At that time maybe we will be the intimate friends and we can tell other about our own lover,child,family.

He is my high school classmate 

  Goning to his space has been  my habit.I am eager to read him mind by this words but it is futile.The relation between us is so strange.We all stay our own cirle to stare each other but we all don't plan to get out.He is a aspirant man and also has responsibility to his families.Those attracked me deeply.But it is unlucky I am not good at express myself.He asked me to introduce a girl friend to him and I asked him his standard about the girl.He asked me to set the stardard.I am so surprise and my friend tells me that" he must be like you but he can't express directly..."I am so amazed"why he can't express"Her reply is also strange"you are now a master and he is a bachelor..." So now I don't know how to deal with our strange relation

   

With the terminal examination coming,I tried my best to prepair for them and I had no time to the Martte Corner.After the examination was the winter vacation and my heart had been flying to home so I forgot say bye to Martte.Staying at home I remember my promise to Martte which was spending Chinese new year with our family.And what made things worse I had left his call number at school.At that time I hope that he could call me,if not maybe I would doback to school to bring my promise into effect.About two days later Martte called me and I was so surprise to hear his voice."Hello,Martte when will you come to my hometown I am so sorry I left your number and I can't give you a call.Thanks to the God you call me or I will go back again.There only five days for the new year,when will you come...?"I said everything quickly and did't give him anytime to answer.But after my talks there was a long silence.I am amazed and I thought the phone was in troouble.Endly Martte said in a low voice"Stone,I am sorry to call you now.I will go home ..."After a several sends I realize what he said and simled to him"That is well,I had told you an old Chinese saying :there was no a meal for long.And teaching in the campus is not your dream....." "HEhe,you are always have the special opinion with me.But my only sorrow is that I can't chat with you ..." "Hehe ,that is really a pity because I love your corner not for long.Maybe you will come back again."After about half hour's call we said good luck to each other.

I wrote this just to wish Martte achieve his dream.    

Every week we have a special time called Martte Corner.The first weeks I didn't love this and usually unpresent for no reson.Martte called me and said:Stone why are you not come here?I feel it is as dry as a bone without your argument.Will you come next time?"

I went to the Corner and took a free topic with Martte.About my opinion about marriage.I answered to him with QianZhongshu's famious metaphor:Marriage is just like a castle

"Castle? Some regard marriage as a rule or a sugar bowl but I never heard this opinion,why?whimsical girl(古怪的)

I relized that I gave him one stange opinion who never read that book.And I explained to him carefully:"the ones who are in the castle want to gets out and the ones who are out are eager to get in. That means to say the one who married maybe regard the marriage as a rule.And the one who will marry maybe regard the marriage as a sugar bowl.That is same as your opinion..."

"Oh,yeah,the first time you can agree with mine,thank you Stone.Thank you give me my face which is called 面子 by you Chinese."

We all laughed and my face got red" I just represent my opinion and I don't think I give you so much trouble."

"No,No.."Martte smiled to me"you have the characters like our American and in China most pupils don't like to state their opinion and just like to listen the Sir's....."

After several weeks I liked to the corner,but now Martte had....  

暂无

Martte is is same age as us and he is our spoken Sir.He is an American guy with blue eyes,golden hair,white skin and also has the humorous character.

The first class he was front of the balckbord with a light smile and said: hello,girls and guys nice to meet you.I was attracted by his voice and the facile call.The following weeks I understood the free tone of Martte's class.Usually Martte gave us a free topic and we chated freely and then we chosen one every team to give our opinion publicly.Martte always liked to take me to the embrass.He usually asked me to stand our team to talk with him.After several times he simle to me:Stone  you are a special girl,you are always arguing with me and never accept my opinion,nice,nice,I like this kind.And I also gave no thanks to him and answered to him:Martte I am just to tell you my team's opinion.

There are the talks between us as following:

When we were talking about the custom for the new babys in China.That was another puzzle to him.I answered to him:" in the passesd days we take some rice to the familyof the new baby."Martte opened him eyes"why? because the new baby's family dosen't have enough rice?" I smiled with the victorious smile"No,thouth in the rich family this custom is also popular" Martte walked to my side and said"please tell me the reason and I the first time to know this custom..."At last I told him about this"Because people regard that if the baby count one grain of rice he should live long enough to finish  acounting all the rice.That means to say to wish the new baby can live healthy.Are you understand Martte?""Oh, oh,I understand, that really interesting,thank you lovely girl.."

And there are many such like interesting talks between us.Martte never feel embrass of these instead he likes these topics.     

Opening my E-mail a strange letter came into my eyes.

Dear Sir,
We are top government officials and currently members of the Federal Government of Nigeria, Contract Review Panel. We are interested in doing business with you.
The prosecuting of a transaction of this Magnitude Requiring Maximum Confidence and Trust.
......and the want me to tell them my back account....

My god, with the development of the society the impostors' level is also increasing.Internaltional cooperation during the impostors is popular.But to my surprise how do they know my E-mail address and if I can't read English the letter is also regardless.I talked to my roommates: the level of this imposter is so high why do they do anything else? Her reply got my baffing mind away: this way of life is easy,not everyone likes to be hard at work.Yeah,maybe this is the reason.But I still can't understand.

Maybe tomorrow when I get out of school I will meet the impostor and can't realise at all.Hehe,We should try our best to adapt to the kaleidoscopic socirty(万花筒般的社会)

HunagLei's plays can always attract me deeply.From 似水年华 to 人间四月天 I like the scene,the ambience and the drama. Reading these play is not only an enjoyment but also can appreciate the literature in the play.

HuangLei is the only one who can act the drama and real life together. The character of Huang is so inosculate  with the man who are discribed in the play. Wen who is a young man with ambition goes back to his hometown to operate the library.The tired work dosen't hit him and he still love the old books. His attitude to his own emotion is so carm but can impress us.Though at last he chooses the one is not the real love of him he also tries his best to do everything well.That is the interior of the literator.XuZhimo is the familiar one to us and we all konw the romantic affairs of him.From the convention he should acquire the blame but I still love the brave of his.He can get every obstruction out to achieve his true love, divorcing with 陈幼仪，loving his friend's daughter 林徽因,falling in love with 陆小曼.The fanatic deed of chasing true love moves me.

In real life HuangLei is a single-minded man to his wife and also very considerate.

 

Just now I bought a pair of earrings and I never wear this kind of this before.If one girl wears this kind of earrings I will look down at her and regard her as a not conventional one. But just now the idea of wearing this kind happened to my mind and I bought one without of any hesitation.I don't know why.Maybe the rebel which is covered all the time starts to arise.I am always a passive child in my parents' mind.And time by time my characters was decreasing and decreasing.The moment I saw this pair of earring my mask fell down and I just want to be myself.

HeHe, no.Tomorrow I will take this earring down.We can display our own characters but if our parents dislike us to do that in my mind we should follow them.Because Mom and Dad is the benefactors to us. I said to my roommate if my partner is not  dutiful to his parents I will never choose him though he is excellence.

Now I still want to be a conventional girl.

My favorite earring.Maybe we can meet at night.

Walking in the campus facing the setting sun with the song of <take me to your heart>.All these are present for me.Walking on the stone-road, memory is back to my mind.The days of laughing,weeping or struggling are all in my mind.In the senior high school several intimate friends encouraged each other to go over this hill.Though the result is not very satisfied to us.WIth too much hopes we went into the campus.On the campus we are not the teens.We were't like the brothers（I call them elder or younger brother） because there were something we never met in the senior high school and it need your choose.Two false choose I had made during my bechelor time.In order to contiue my dream I choose to stay in the campuse for my master scholor.After the 4 years suffering something has been changed ang to my surprise we all like the brother again.They are careful about eveything about me just like elder brother.He has been work for two years and he often told me that:Yatou,I am care about you,get your compare and elder brother will get one after you.I always said nothing to him and just smile.Now I am lonely walking in the campus because I have no brave to choose the mistake again.Pray for myself I can choose the right one.