I Gave up What I Should I Do

I gave up what I should do

The day before yesterday was rare clear Sunday in the end of Autumn. I’d been stayed in home long. One of my friends came over and asked me to go window shopping. He said,"come on man! Don’t you think it’s sin to be home in the nice day? Let’s go out for something, ok? You know I’m going to marry." That exactly was so, thought about it, I’d locked myself in a little dark box so long. I’d go out for air and wind. By the way, congratulations to that guy who is going to be a real man . Tell me, what a man means to be, that is to raise his new home, take the responsibility to love your wife, look after your boys or girls and pursue your prospects. How about you!

Oh, sorry! I’ve gotten carried away. Ok, come bake to the main point. Yes that day I went out with that lucky buddy indeed. He bought a lot of stuff such as clothes, home fittings and ornaments for his girl. All right! I became his porter for free. Unconsciously, we went up to a big bookstore by the name of Sisyphe that is a branch store of a big book company. I said, “Hold on a minute, how long didn’t we read a new book from leaving school, go inside for a look. Come on, haven’t I accompanied you long? ”

Absolutely, I’ve quite seldom strolled bookstore, which was used to be the hang-out for me. I bought and did lots of exercises in order to get the admissions to the key high school and university in my schooldays. Looking back the course I studied before. I felt pain that I was just a chump that could do nothing but praxis. The moment I entered the bookstore, it was as if I was stepping back into the past. I found a place, where few people there. Until now, I don’t know why I always like to stay in a quiet place few people there by myself. That may be just my nature nobody can change and so do I. I grabbed a book about racing cars and read then.

I was so fascinated that I was unware of a girl beside me. She was a waitress whose hair in a plait, in red uniform. At that time she was busy racking books on a shelf, standing on a stool. Suddenly a pile of books fell off when she was trying to reach them. I turned to see what happened. Our eyes just met together. She was so beautiful, flushed, with a clear eyes and fair face. You can guess, I became excited not because the matter itself but her beauty or something else. My face flushed too. But I pretended as if I saw nothing and turned back with complex thoughts. I say, if I helped her, somebody else must be thinking me as a rogue that was courting her. If I didn’t, I always felt something wrong. I was tussling with myself and decided to give it up. Later, I thought, maybe she is so beautiful , if she was just an ordinary girl without a charming face I would surely help her.

She was a little nervous, helpless, might be afraid of being seen by his leader, colleagues or customers. A little while, she picked all the books with her friend. The story ends just like this. But something deep down inside of me does not end and troubles me. I don’t know what on earth that is in my heart. I feel sorry for what I was doing, giving up what I should do. It’s quite a shame not to offer my hand. My conscience is guilty too much. How to keep your soul clear, a clear soul needs you to do what is right whether you agree or not. I say this and I do best to do this. Be a man with ideas and actions, I wish.