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Confidence is the first step to success

Has technology made the world a better place to live?

2008-02-15 22:48:58

New Roman" size=3>Do you agree of disagree:Technology has made the world a better place to live.

 

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Whether our life has been more and more comfortable,as the technology accelerates along with each passing day,is a popular topic,most likely inasmuch as it is not,in some sense,a simply problem for a multitude of people hold different ideas duo to their distinct experiences and backgrounds.There are some person claim technology is creating much more merits to help person,on the other hand,some person contradict that technology has bringed adverse effects to their life.From my perspective,I would have to say it is more suitable to choose the former one.There are many persuasive reasons why I select this statement,now I will only explore a few of crucial ones.

 

No issue is more important todays than the one refers to electricity.Facts witness and present a great many examples.In modern world,if someone is eager to watch some matches,which competed in other countries,he or she has no way to watch them without electricity at home.And,it will cost far more time to go abroad to study and travel to other countries as long as electricity fails to exist in humans’life.What’s more,so long as some patients who are required to do operations,the hospitals would have to provide instruments with electricity,else it is,in most cases,possible for the patients to lose their lives ever since.I believe there are no better examples than this one to demonstrate my view more directly.

 

In addition,as no doubt,it is not a good decision for every person in thousands of fields to complete their assignments without computers.For instance,students might have faster and more effective way to search information on the Internet;it is more simple for teachers to prepare their classes through utilizing computers;people who are fascinated with movies can cost less money,fortunately,and frequently watch more movies;it is fantastic for scientists to research theories and unknown problems more accuratively and so on so forth.

 

Superior as technology in humans’life is,however,there is no denying that it has its own disadvantages,such as it causes that less and less resource that still persists in earth.Nevertheless,the advantages of evolving technology carry more weight than that of disadvantages because of Humans have to improve their overall national strength.

 

In conclusion, taking into account all these factors discussed above,which sometimes can interwine to form an organic whole and thus become more persuasive.It has invariably been a mystery to me that some people regard technology as nothing assistant to their life.




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Monica1981的个人空间 删除 Monica1981 发布于2008-02-16 23:25:28
Another suggestion:

Break the sentence up...too many "," make people confusing...

And you still didn't use "firstly", "secondly" and other critical words...

In the English writing, those words are almost like warnings which tell teachers that the following sentence is my argument point...

Use simple (not stupid) sentence to represent your ideas...

Is your first paragraph really necessary??? I can't see any reason why it helps to clear up your point??

sentence like:

"There are some person claim technology it creating much more merits to help person,on the other hand,some person contradict that technology has bringed adverse effects to their life."

Too long, not clear...but I understand what you try to say...

If I was you, I will only say:
It is controversial to argue that Technology only has brought advantages to the world....(which mean I am going to argue its disadvantage in the following...)

You need to use the fewest words to make your points most clearly...

Don't waste of your words on some rubbish talking...straight on the point..
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