Most people need to hear those "three little words"- I love you. Once in a while, they hear them just in time.

很多人都期待能听到那“三个字”——我爱你。但是有时候说这几个字的时候需要及时表达.

I met Connie the day she was admitted to the hospice ward, where I worked as a volunteer. Her husband, Bill, stood nervously nearby as she was transferred from the gurney to the hospital bed. Although Connie was in the final stages of her fight against cancer, she was alert and cheerful. We got her settled in. I finished marking her name on all the hospital supplies she would be using, then asked if she needed anything.

我见到Connie 的时候是她住进疗养院的那天,那时我在那里当义工, 她的丈夫Bill 神情紧张地站在她旁边看着把他从轮椅担架抬到病床上, 尽管connie 是癌症晚期, 但是她依然很谨慎而且很快乐. 我们把她安顿好等记了她的名字和所有信息之后,我问她是否需要什么帮助.

"Oh, yes," she said, "Would you please show me how to use the TV? I enjoy the soaps so much and I don't want to get behind on what's happening." Connie was a romantic. She loved soap operas, romance novels and movies with a good love story. As we became acquainted, she confided how frustrating it was to be married 32 years to a man who often called her "a silly woman".

她说:” 是的.,你可以帮教我怎么打开电视机吗? 我非常喜欢看肥皂泡沫剧,我不想错过今天的剧情.” . Connie 是个浪漫的人, 她喜欢肥皂泡沫剧,浪漫小说和结局完美的爱情电影. 我们变得很熟之后,她告诉我说她是多么的灰心，因为在她32岁时嫁给了一个经常叫她”傻女人”的男人.

"Oh, I know Bill loves me," she said, "but he has never been one to say he loves me, or send cards to me."She sighed and looked out the window at the trees in the courtyard. "I’d give anything if he'd say 'I love you,' but it's just not in his nature."

她说” 我知道Bill 爱我, 但是他从来都没对我说过他爱我, 或者给我送贺卡,” , 她叹息着透过窗户看着窗外的大树.接着说:” 如果他对我说句我爱你的话,我会不惜一切,但是这不是他的本性”.

Bill visited Connie every day. In the beginning, he sat next to the bed while she watched the soaps. Later, when she began sleeping more, he paced up and down the hallway outside her room. Soon, when she no longer watched television and had fewer waking moments, I began spending more of my volunteer time with Bill.

Bill 每天都来看望Connie　.　起初, 当Connie开肥皂泡沫剧的时候他就坐在她床边, 后来,当Connie越来越能睡觉时, 他开始在病房外边焦虑不安地来回走动, 不久, Connie不再看电视并且醒的时间越来越短了, 于是我开始尽我一个义工该尽的责任－－陪Bill聊聊天.

He talked about having worked as a carpenter and how he liked to go fishing. He and Connie had no children, but they'd been enjoying retirement by traveling, until Connie got sick. Bill could not express his feelings about the fact that his wife was dying.

他说曾经他是个木匠,他是如此喜欢钓鱼,他和Connie 没有孩子, 退休之后整个生活都在享受旅游, 直到Connie 生病, Bill 并没有表达他妻子即将面临死亡的情感.

One day, over coffee in the cafeteria, I got him on the subject of women and how we need romance in our lives; how we love to get sentimental1 cards and love letters.

一天, 经过一家自助式咖啡店的时候, 我对他谈到关于女性在生活中对与浪漫的追求, 希望收到一张表达情感的卡片和情书期待.

"Do you tell Connie you love her?" I asked (knowing his answer), and he looked at me as if I was crazy.

我问他” 你告诉Connie你爱她了吗?” 他看着我似乎在想我是否疯了.

"I don't have to," he said. "She knows I do!"

他说:” 我没必要那样做,他知道我爱她”

"I'm sure she knows," I said, reaching over and touching his hands rough, carpenter's hands that were gripping the cup as if it were the only thing he had to hang onto "but she needs to hear it, Bill. She needs to hear what she has meant to you all these years. Please think about it."

我抓住他那粗糙的手对他说:” 我确信她知道你爱她. 但是他想听见你说, Bill, 她需要听到你说这些年她对你是多么重要,请你好好想想吧”.

We walked back to Connie"s room. Bill disappeared inside, and I left to visit another patient. Later, I saw Bill sitting by the bed. He was holding Connie's hand as she slept. The date was February 12.

我们回到Connie的病房, 一会Bill不见了, 后来我就去查看另外一个病人, 后来我看见Bill坐在床边抓住熟睡的Connie的双手, 这一天是二月十二日.

Two days later I walked down the hospice ward at noon. There stood Bill, leaning up against the wall in the hallway, staring at the floor. I already knew from the head nurse that Connie had died at 11 A.M.

两天之后的一个下午, 我在疗养院散步, 看见Bill立在走廊边的墙上, 眼睛死死地盯着地板发呆, 我已经在护士长那里知道Connie已经死于早上11点了.

When Bill saw me, he allowed himself to come into my arms for a long time. His face was wet with tears and he was trembling. Finally, he leaned back against the wall and took a deep breath." I have to say something," he said. "I have to say how good I feel about telling her." He stopped to blow his nose. "I thought a lot about what you said, and this morning I told her how much I loved her... and loved being married to her. You should have seen her smile!"

I went into the room to say my own good bye to Connie. There, on the bedside table, was a large Valentine card from Bill. You know, the sentimental kind that says, "To my wonderful wife... I love you."

Bill 看见我时,他抱在我怀里很长时间, 他的脸被眼泪浸湿了, 还在不断地抽搐, 最后,他又立在了墙上深深地吸了口气说:” 我必须说点什么.我必须说我和她在一起是多么的开心”, 他擦掉鼻涕又说 :” 你那天说的话我想了很多,今天早上我告诉了她我爱她, 并且和她结婚是多么幸福, 你应该看看她的微笑.”.我走进Connie的病房和她最后道别, 在桌子旁边有一张巨大的来自Bill的情人节贺卡, 上面写着: 致：我至爱的妻子――我爱你！　

A peasant had a faithful horse which had grown old and could do no more work, so his master no longer wanted to give him anything to eat and said, "I can certainly make no more use of you, but still I mean well by you, and if you prove yourself still strong enough to bring me a lion here, I will maintain you. But for now get out of my stable." And with that he chased him into the open field.

 一个农夫有一匹勤勤恳恳、任劳任怨为他干活的马，但这匹马现在已经老了，干活也不行了，所以，农夫不想再给马吃东西。他对马说：“我再也用不着你了，你自己离开马厩走吧，到你比一头狮子更强壮时，我自然会把你牵回来的。”  说完，他打开门，让马自己去谋生去了。

The horse was sad, and went to the forest to seek a little protection there from the weather. There the fox met him and said, "Why do you hang your head so, and go about all alone?"

马儿很悲伤,于是它来到森林寻找一个可以避风的地方, 途中有只狐狸遇到它并问道:”你为什么打拉着脑袋,孤零零就你一个呢?”

"Alas," replied the horse, "greed and loyalty do not dwell together in one house. My master has forgotten what services I have performed for him for so many years, and because I can no longer plow well, he will give me no more food, and has driven me out."

马儿回答说” 唉! 贪婪和忠诚不能都兼得啊,我那贪婪的主人完全忘记了我曾经为他服务这么多年了,他说因为我不能再为他耕地了,所以就不再给我吃东西了,就把我赶出来了.”

"Without giving you a chance?" asked the fox."The chance was a bad one. He said, if I were still strong enough to bring him a lion, he would keep me, but he well knows that I cannot do that."

狐狸问到:” 难道他没给你让任何机会吗? “ 马儿说:” 机会到是给了,但是个不好完成任务的机会啊, 主人说如果我可以为他带回去一只狮子,那么他就会把我留下, 但是他知道我没有那能力”

The fox said, "I will help you. Just lie down, stretch out as if you were dead, and do not stir."

狐狸说:” 我可以帮你,你躺在地上,腿蹬直像死了一样, 不要动弹:

The horse did what the fox asked, and then the fox went to the lion, who had his den not far off, and said, "A dead horse is lying out there. Just come with me, and you can have a rich meal."

于是马儿按照狐狸的话做, 然后狐狸就去不远处狮子的洞穴找到了狮子,说: 我那里有只死马,你跟我来的话你会吃到一顿丰盛的晚餐,:

The lion went with him, and when they were both standing by the horse the fox said, "After all, it is not very comfortable for you here - I tell you what -I will fasten it to you by the tail, and then you can drag it into your cave and eat it in peace."

于是狮子就跟着狐狸来到的马儿躺着地方, 狐狸对马儿说:” 总之,你在这里吃的话我觉得不会很安全, 我告诉你怎么做.我把它的尾巴绑在你身上,然后你把它拖到你的洞穴里可以很安全的慢慢享受美味.”

This advice pleased the lion. He positioned himself, and in order that the fox might tie the horse fast to him, he kept completely quiet. But the fox tied the lion's legs together with the horse's tail, and twisted and fastened everything so well and so strongly that no amount of strength could pull it loose. When he had finished his work, he tapped the horse on the shoulder and said, "Pull, white horse, pull!"

狐狸的建议让狮子很高兴,于是它自己摆好姿势静静地让狐狸把马儿牢牢地绑在自己身上,但是狐狸把狮子的腿和马的尾巴绑在了一起,  然后绕了几圈紧紧地把它们绑在一起,即使狮子用再大的力气也没办法把它们打开. 狐狸做完这一切这后,它拍了拍马儿的肩膀,说道”拉,马儿,用力拉. ”

Then up sprang the horse at once, and pulled the lion away with him. The lion began to roar so that all the birds in the forest flew up in terror, but the horse let him roar, and drew him and dragged him across the field to his master's door. When the master saw the lion, he was of a better mind, and said to the horse, "You shall stay with me and fare well." And he gave him plenty to eat until he died.

然后马儿迅速纵身一跃而起,拉着狮子和他一起走了. 这时狮子开始怒号, 森林里所有的鸟儿被它的怒号惊飞了, 但是马儿没有理睬任他继续嚎叫, 于是拖着它穿过农田来到了主人的门口, 当主人看到狮子时,他非常高兴地对马儿说: “ 你将一直和我呆在一起, 并会有很好的待遇, “ 然后主人给马儿为了很多事物直到马儿老死.

There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried. The king looked at all the pictures. But there were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them. One picture was of a calm lake. The lake was a perfect mirror for peaceful towering mountains all around it. Overhead was a blue sky with fluffy white clouds. All who saw this picture thought that it was a perfect picture of peace.

曾经有一个国王, 他颁布了一道诏书,如果有人能够画出一副最能表达宁静和谐的画,他就会给这个画家颁发奖励.于是很多画家都试图贡了自己的作品, 国王看着这些画,但是只有其中两幅画是他较为喜欢的, 于是他就要在这两幅画中选择其中一幅.一幅画是一个平静的湖, 湖面似乎是一个完美宁静的镜面.,四围环山, 湖面上空蓝蓝的天空中飘着几片绒毛似的白云. 所有的人看到这幅画都认为这就是极其完美的宁静和谐之画.

The other picture had mountains, too. But these were rugged and bare. Above was an angry sky, from which rain fell and in which lightning played. Down the side of the mountain tumbled a foaming waterfall. This did not look peaceful at all.

另一幅画也有山,但是这些山都是崎岖不平和光秃秃的什么也没有. 上空是乌云密布风雨交加,闪电雷鸣.下面是翻滚咆哮的一幕瀑布, 这般景象一点都没有和平宁静的气氛.

But when the king looked closely, he saw behind the waterfall a tiny bush growing in a crack in the rock. In the bush a mother bird had built her nest. There, in the midst of the rush of angry water, sat the mother bird on her nest — in perfect peace.

但是,当国王靠近仔细观察那幅画时. 他看到瀑布后面的的岩石裂缝里有一丛正在生长的小灌木,在灌木里有一只鸟妈妈为自己筑好的鸟巢.中间是翻滚咆哮的瀑布, 那只鸟妈妈却坐在自己的鸟巢里－――极其宁静．.

Which picture do you think won the prize? The king chose the second picture. Do you know why?

你认为那一幅画可以获奖呢? 这位国王选择了第二幅画, 你知道为什么吗?

“Because,” explained the king, “peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace.”

国王解释道:　“因为宁静和谐并不意味着某个地方没有噪音，没有麻烦 或者烦劳的工作就是宁静和谐．宁静和谐的意义是在这些嘈杂麻烦的环境当中你的心情是否感到平静和谐．这才是宁静的真谛．　

这个故事实际就在折射我们的生活，在这个错综复杂的社会，就像国王所选的那幅画一样，你是否可以保持一种宁静和谐的心境？　

Often we’re told that we have to suffer now — give up what we want — in order to succeed later, that in order to save we must sacrifice. Give up instant gratification to get delayed gratification.

常常我们被告知我们要遭受苦难—放弃我们想要的—--一切为了以后的成功, 为了挽救我们自己必须牺牲你想要的, 放弃暂时的满足来获得永久的知足.

But you can do both.但是你可以两者同时做

For years, I was confused about this, as I read books and websites that sent me two different messages:一些年之后我对此有所怀疑, 因为我读了几本书和一些网站发给我的两条不同的信息.

Pleasure later. The first message was that in order to be successful, in order to build wealth, you have to delay gratification. You can’t have instant gratification and be successful.

推迟享受生活. 第一条信息是关于为了成功,为了创造财富你必须推迟享受生活. 你不能享受暂时的快乐和暂时的成功.

Pleasure now. The second message was usually from other sources on Happiness, but sometimes from the same source: enjoy life now, while you can, because it’s short and you never know when your last day will come. Live every day like it’s your last. Trouble is, I agree with both messages. And if you read this site often, you’ll see that I send both messages: Live frugally and simply! But also enjoy life!

享受现在, 第二条信息是来自另一个关于幸福材料. 但是有时候是来自同一材料: 在你有能力时享受现在的生活,因为生命很短暂, 你永远也不知道最后一天什么时候会到来, 过好每一天就像过最后一天一样, 糟糕的是我赞成这两个观点, 如果你经常浏览这样的网站,你将会了解我所发的这两条信息: 简约而简单的生活!但同时也要享受生活.

That’s because I’ve reconciled the two philosophies into one: Live life now and enjoy it to the fullest — without destroying your future. The key to doing that? Find ways to enjoy life completely, utterly, maximally … that don’t cost your future very much.

这是因为我已经将这两条富有哲理的信息合二为一: 珍惜地过好现在的生活同时也要充分地享受生活---不要毁灭你的未来. 关键是要看你怎么做? 找到适合自己的生活方式充分地,最大限度地去享受生活,它花不了你未来的多少时间,

Here are some tips for actually living that philosophy:

这里有几条富有哲理的关于真正生活的建议.

Find free or cheap pleasures. Frugality does not have to be boring or restrictive … if you use your imagination. Be creative and find ways to have fun — loads of it — without spending much money. Have a picnic at the park, go to the beach, do crafts, board games, fly a kite, make art, bake cookies … I could list a hundred things, and you could come up with a few hundred more. Make a list of simple pleasures, and enjoy them to the maximum. This is the key to the whole idea of enjoying life now without spending tomorrow’s dollar. See Savor the Little Things .

发现简单而朴实的快乐.如果发挥你的现象,节俭不一定就是很糟糕或无趣. 富有热情和积极地去寻找一种开心的方式---享受它---不会花你很多钱,去野外野炊,去海滩散步, 做手工艺品, 棋牌游戏.放风筝,画画,做饭, ,,, 我可以列举上百种这样的方式, 当然你也可以想出好几百种,将他们纳入简单快乐的行列, 尽量去享受吧. 这就是即可以享受现在又不用预支未来的金钱的关键所在. 了解品味小事情的意义.

Make simplifying fun. I’m a big fan of simplifying my life, from decluttering to creating a simple lifestyle in every way. And to me, this is great fun. I get rid of stuff (and possibly make money selling it) and have a blast doing it. That’s good math.

让快乐简单化. 我是我生活中的一个重要角色, 从有序的生活到利用不同的方式创造不同的简单快乐的生活方式, 对于我来说这是最大的快乐, 摆脱一些俗套的物质东西 (可能用把他们卖掉能挣到一部分钱)然后大把的花掉他们, 那是个不错办法.

Rediscover what’s important. Oftentimes we spend tons of money, shopping, going out, watching movies, eating out … without really enjoying life. And when we stop to think about it, we never have time for the things we really want to do. Well, that’s probably because your life is filled with things that aren’t very important to you. Instead, step back and really think about what’s important to you. Then get rid of the other (expensive) stuff, and focus on what’s important. Listen to some stuff on my list: my wife and kids, other friends and family, reading, writing, exercising, volunteering, spending quiet time in contemplation. Guess how many of those things cost a lot of money?

重新寻找最重要的. 通常我们花很多钱购物,出去玩,看电影,出去吃饭….但没有真正的享受生活, 当我们停下来思考的时候, 我们从来没有时间去做我们真正想做的事情. 那么, 也许是因为你的生活中有很多对你来说不重要的事情.相反, 退一步真正的想想什么对你最重要. 排除那些昂贵的物质东西,  着重想想什么最重要. 听一些列在我的快乐列表中的事情: 我的妻子和孩子们. 其他朋友和别的家庭,阅读,写作,锻炼身体,当志愿者,花一些时间计划这些事情. 想想看这么多的事情能花很多钱吗?

Make people a priority. This is related to the above point, but I thought I’d give it a little more emphasis. If you give “stuff” a priority — stuff like gadgets, nice furnishings, nice clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. — then you will spend a lot of money. But if you make people a priority — the people you love most, you close friends and family — you don’t need to spend a dime to enjoy life. Make some time to visit with friends, or your parents … and have a conversation with them that doesn’t involve eating out or going to the movies. Just sit, have some iced tea or hot cocoa (depending on the weather), and talk. Tell jokes and laugh your heads off. Talk about books you’ve read, movies you’ve watched, new things going on in your life, your hopes and dreams. And make time for your kids or your significant other — really spend time with them, doing things that don’t cost money.

重视每个人: 这与上面提到的那一点有关, 但是我认为我应该强调一下 如果重视所谓”物质” 的东西---比如说一个容器.一件漂亮的家具, 一件漂亮的衣服,一双鞋子,一串珠宝等等.---那么你咋他们上面会花很多钱. 但是如果你重视一个人---那么这些人是你最爱的人.你的密友和家人---你没必要花一分钱就可以享受生活.只是花一些时间去拜访你的朋友或父母, 只需和大家坐在一起喝杯冰镇饮料或热咖啡(根据天气而定) 聊聊天, 讲讲笑话让你笑得前俯后仰, 谈谈关于你看过的书籍