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my diaries,my life,my footprints in this lifetime.
  • My promise has been realized.

    2017-02-11 13:56:21

    2017-2-6 08:18
    Husband and I have no other desires except saving for son's future's house.In China,it's the first important duty for all the parents who have sons .As we all know,no house maybe means no family.No girls marry you.The young have already become the most materialistic group.It can be understood that marriage should include a house.I still remember a sentence:What is home?Including people and a house,people live in it and love each other and love their house.Actually,I love house more than money,house can bring me more sense of safety.When I was young ,I also put house to the first place,house gives a sense of steadiness.It is a place where we can restart a new life.Man should know the meaning of a house to a girl and a home well.
    Thus, we are trying to do this.It's too expensive if son live in a big city.So we only can buy more cheap ones for future which can be called investment.His grandparents are helping us,but I found they were unnecessarily so willingful,while they always said that they were fighting for his only grandson.When I realized this,I told them I would buy a house which has two bedroom for them one day.In fact,I only don't wanna owe them.Because if they had had true hearts to help us, they wouldn't have kept saying they wanted to change their house which is a bit small.Last year I made a promise that we would buy one for them and add his grandma's name later.Then,I owe them nothing.I make it!I feel I did a right thing from their full-smiled faces that they had never shown when we buy other houses before. They said we needn't add their names.I will show my sincerity.Then let it be,anyway,the house will be used by them.
    We should try to keep our word,and we will feel easy when it is realized.

  • Sonwish ur first dream come true~

    2017-02-11 13:55:22

    2017-1-19 08:24
    Only with about 5 months' studying time left,time is flying without a word.Although it's holiday now,son has plenty of homework to do which takes up nearly most of the day everyday.Even watching a wonderful movie together becomes a thing which sometimes can't be realized.The students nowadays indeed are having a hard life.With a little bit carelessness,they will fall behind some others,in another word,they will fail in study and make dreams nothing.I told son again and again,no matter whether he fails or not, study is a thing at anywhere and at any time.Although I expect him to enter his wanting school so much,I more wish him to bravely face all difficulties and failures.Especially he will be a man in the near future.Lots of people seeing or hearing about my son said that I had a good idea on educating kid.In fact,I never think about that,merely only wanting him happy and love him.Each method of education has disadvantages as well.Remind myself thinking more about them,I just want to be a good mom,not a good wife,good teacher~~of course,everything is got ready for him but good news!

  • Maybe a bad day for son.

    2017-02-11 13:54:16

    2017-1-12 19:24 

    These days,son has had a cold and didn't go to school today.It's common for him to catch a cold at the time of examinations every year.The worse thing is that son didn't get good scores,falling a lot.His scores are always up and down,not stable.Last time,he was satisfied.We have a biggest dream of present that he wishes to the No.1 Middle School.Just now, I told him there was a bit danger to realize such a dream.Instead,he seemed very peaceful on hearing the results and said it was nothing,which I feel easy now.Of course,I gave him some advice and reminded him of something he should pay attention to.A key is how to balance the time of playing and studying.I also advised him to do things more quickly and try to be more efficient.I was sure his heart was not so peaceful as appearance.I know that he will try his best and I believe he can make it at last.Every experience is necessary and especially hardships in study and life are very helpful to his growing.
    Son, fighting!

  • Changing face

    2017-02-11 13:53:06

    2016-12-29 18:30

    These  days,I have been very serious in front of my students because they behaved badly in class a few days ago including not listening,even speaking.I got angry and shouted at them.After that,I decided not to be kind to them because they don't deserve it.I stopped saying jokes or funny things to make them happy in class.Put on a terribly serious face, even terrific!It really worked! Nobody didn't bare to say one word.Class was so quiet that I taught my lessons without any barriers.I allowed them to choose whether to learn English,all decisions made all by themselves.In fact,for those who lack of family education and have weakest basically knowlege,it's meaningless for them to learn less or more,as long as not disturbing others and me.Still,some are considerate and like studying.
    From my teaching day,The students who made me dislike are not many.I still remember a few years ago,a class of rubbish,even including girls I also thought awful.However,I can't understand how a lovely boy would love one of these girls so many years.It's none of my business,I only hope that my son will choose a real good girl in the future.But if not,I still have no ways,let it be~
    Little by little,I realized that the circles of students I are actually the ones of adults, full of masks and ugliness of human nature.
    Today's break before class,a boy said that I changed.In today's class, there's still no smile on my face and told them a popular story recently called One Bowl of Noodles.It's a good thing that they will listen to me very careful each time I say something out of class.I also told them whoever doesn't know how to treasure is just a fool.
    Actually,I know that I have lost much interests on students,maybe because of age's growing.I seldom get close to them,only hoping to make both them and me happy in class,hoping them happy to learn and hoping that I can have happy working days.
    In fact,these above is not so important for me as before,now I just wanna quiet days and classes. I should say that one of my three world is disappearing.It's so natural because I am doing my life's subtraction.Many things in life should be thrown away to make myself more relaxed and make life simpler.I of such an age,try to make it~.
    Being a teacher is not always so nice as I imagined of when young. In fact , facing the same all- kind-man society,sometimes, it's like a fighting field.

  • A hug!

    2017-02-11 13:51:42

    2016-12-23 21:10

    Today is Friday,tomorrow will be Christmas Eve.At this time of every year,students are always very excited about such a foreign festival instead of our traditional one "The New Year's Day."In fact,I prefer Christmas to The New Year's Day as well just because it feels a bit romantic.No noise,no visiting but staying with my own family.Our Spring Festival should be a terrible festival for all of the adults because of costing too much and busy days.Especially too long, different traditions on different days during it,and even it lasts half a month!
    This Christmas should be the quietest one in my memories.I asked son how to celebrate it,but he seemed not to care about it much.Yeah,he has grown up!It's a good thing that I have ever taken lots of photos in the past Christmas Days.Because son refuses to be taken photos of him now!
    Today,a student who offered to hug me as a good present.I hugged him,although some students would laugh at him because of his intelligence.However,I felt very happy!I still remember one of my past diaries--You owe me a hug.Even though I loved those students so much,even I had told them that I wished to be hugged by them when saying goodbye to each other,they had never done that.Maybe because they were shy at that time.
    That's OK.No matter how my students treat me or how much they like much,try to be happy all the time.

  • In fact,there's nothing can last too long.

    2017-02-11 13:49:57

    2016-12-8 22:53

    We often tend to greedy after we are originally satisfied with something we have experienced or somebody we have met.In fact, we know that they will get out of our sight in the end.Nobody except family can accompany us until our last day.Everything will be gone with time,although someone is still taking up a certain space in heart.Maybe a hello will be a thing later,but you still regard it significant to have had some days with him together.It's maybe a way of cheating yourself.Yeah,we shouldn't learn to become greedy,let it be~.Feeling is gone,then all become a burden.The terrible thing for me is that the other side doesn't think me so good as I expected.Then,I hope all end quickily,let us disappear in front of each other.The best time to part is before the good feeling have changed,however,no one can be so wise and understand to when to give up.
    In fact,silence means it,parting without sound!Not need each other!That's OK, it's the result of being greedy!

  • As long as working hard!

    2017-02-11 13:48:49

    2016-12-3 17:51

    Yesterday,I received the exam results of son's class on Wetchat.I had a quick look at the first few names on the top,no son's name,my heart felt a bit cold.Yeah,son fell a lot and didn't get so good scores as he expected.At that moment,I was also disappointed indeed!However,very soon,I recovered my mind-set.Because I deeply understood that my son would feel more terrible.Before son came back,I told husband about the scores.He is a man with a quick temper,it' certain that he got worried immediately.I told him again and again that we should support our son who was more disappointed than us,we couldn't get angry or show any unhappy face,don't ask,because it would make son sadder and helpless,even to lose all confidence.Husband agreed with me.While he cooking,I walked out of house to receive son in dark.Soon,son rode to me with a weak word"mom".But I could feel through his voice that he wasn't so happy.I suddenly felt a bit heartache.After going into the room,laughters filled the whole room,at this moment, I found son smiles with eyes narrowing in a line.
    I hope that we both are the persons who support son behind forever.All failures andhardships are good teachers~.

  • Awful !

    2017-02-11 13:47:39

    2016-11-20 08:39

    I was so pleased to get to know that I would teach one class at the beginning of this term.Any grade is Ok to me as long as I am not asked to be a mainteacher.But we were forced to add extra classes on Saturdays.Ok,I accepted.The thing making me angriest is that headmaster never thinks of teachers.None of his business at all,exchanging classes by teachers ourselves if we can't come,spending our own time to toil and also taking a certain responsibility.Above all,no money is spoken of!
    I asked for a leave with another teacher this week.The teacher who would replace me complained to me,maybe a bit angry with me.Insane he is who is afraid of farting before leaders.He could have refused the group leader.I told him I wouldn't thank him.Two teachers teaching the same class had already asked for a leave.Such a good chance for all the teachers to rest at homeMy son's school had off yesterday!Why couldn't he?Fuck headmaster!
    I am thinking about whether I go on asking a leave.Against the national policy,letting teachers pay the bill to remain his post.Some teachers are timid,and all other teachers hold different aims.This headmaster hasn't kept his promise often!He only can use the mid-leaders' faces and relationships with working teachers.
    I have talked with the headmaster alone,but in vain,only to prove that I am forced.
    In fact, I had decided to work my own business,less communication with others later.But such a thing affects me a lot.That's OK.I will continue having off if I have my own things.Get away from those pitiful people!

  • Wechat

    2017-02-11 13:46:20

    2016-11-17 21:59 

    A few years ago,an old classmate asked me whether I had a Wechat.I said no.Unil this summer,a leader teacher asked me to download one.So I did.I never said anything there in the school group,because I have no much interest.However, watching some teacher who makes me good impression,I still don't know how to begin.In fact,there's someone I want to talk with,but it seems so far between us.Reality is a terrible environment where we have to be careful about the distance between us and all others.Maybe that is why I don't like Wetchat.I can't enjoy anything limited.
    I always love decorating,each home, even each zone and each blog which I wish to be warm.Wechat is my first to use Chinese,which has mainly become my anger dustbin these days.Suddenly I thought of here,thank u for your accompany which is the best pay back.

  • Teachers are made to be devils?

    2017-02-11 13:45:00

    2016-11-7 23:12

    Too much homework,endless sleepless nights.
    Funny excuses and words make this world seem to be building up a world full of hopes and niceness,in fact,losing peace forever.
    "The only persons who have no blood relation with you but to wish you better and worry about you much are teachers".Such a funny saying!When I was young in teaching,maybe I would have believed those words. Even I could have been moved into tears.With a pure and sunny heart,I preferred to love and believe everything around me.However,now,those words from teachers' mouths make me face turn red as a teacher because I can know them very well.In other words,to show their value,their power,their ability,their self-appreciation and fake teacher morality is the key.Every teacher is reading the only curse again,score,score my life root!!

  • Who can save education?

    2017-02-11 13:43:33

    2016-10-29 09:35

    Early birds are around us,who are tired to lose interests in study and have no time to do what they themrselves like,even no time to communicate with parents.Again and again repeating those we can't be sure whether they will really be useful in future days.Little kids have lost their joys which originally belong to them.Teenagers can't understand the real meaning of learning.
    Most of them won't pay attention to those little niceness from nature,even can't experience the sense of happiness from the nature,from family or from others.If they have never known what is happiness,then how can they seek it later.In such a society full of competitions and comparations,their heart will be filled with success and failure,excitement and depression,where seems either in heaven or in hell.
    They have forget the simple sense of satifaction is exactly true happiness.For many excellent kids,they get into a situation where they think they must be the greatest,with such a mind-set,they have ignored what they are living in such a world for,just for success?or better than others?or for more money?Money is a good thing,but those without much money are still living happily and fully,who can get the true sense of happiness i nstead ,while those rich men only can easily lose it.
    I always tell my son to regard study as a hobby and enjoyment,he is doing so.Yesterday,I asked him if he was like a hungry donkey for knowledge.He replied:No,just for fun.For a kid,a good study idea the key to obtain a rich life.I also wish son to make his dream come true,however,what I expect more is that he can find some things to do for enriching his whole life.Even if when life is hard to get through, it can help him to keep on.Maybe learning is not so useful for everyone,but it can be our sincerest friend.As long as you don't abandon it,it will make your life more colorful and fantastic.Learning is a thing for the whole life,not a competition field to show you are better or I am.Society are the biggest controller to make every kid learn to fight against each other.While fighting,they have become soldiers and forgotten the aim of learning.To be successul becomes their so-called "joys",in fact,joys seem so short and pitiful,because they only learn to compete and wrongly think they are the best when having won.Actually,they become a failure at last.
    Life should be full of love and appreciation,which is the most basic ability of being a man.otherwise,it only can be called a "fighting area"
    .Yet,too many people only have an ability in living instead of enjoying life.
    Yeah,no matter whether we are poor or rich,no matter whether we love learning or not,remember to enjoy those God grants us each chance,let our heart return to nature.

  • Sunshine

    2017-02-11 13:42:03

    2016-10-22 11:38

    When I looked up just now,sunshine suddenly appeared,which seemed to be smiling at me.I had just finished my most important task of today to make jiaozi for my son.Son comes back very late at noon every Saturday,so I always like to wait for him beside the outside path.Maybe it's my another kind of sense of happiness.I told son not always to be the last person to close the windows and door of their classroom,which seems a bit selfish compared with my son's selflessness.In fact,I only wish my son to eat hot meals, sleep more at noon and not to come back until too dark in the evening.
    However,he is such a considerate boy and cares about their class and each of his friends so much.According to his words,he feels really happy when helping his friends to solve every problem in study without any boreness.At last, I believed him in heart.Even I have tried to learn from him these days,and I found my son was right.I also found my more joys while helping others,no matter how he or she treated me before.Sometimes,we can find a lot of important life attitude from a kid,and important mood attitude from an animal.Yeah,those that are always ignored by us in life are actually the most important,such as ;health, sincerity,credit,thanksgiving.....

  • Slaves!

    2017-02-11 13:40:52

    2016-10-15 17:44

    All Ninth-graded teachers were forced to make up lessons on Saturdays from today.At the beginning of knowing that I would teach Grade Nine,I have already considered it would be a matter of certain this term.When everything was not clear,just an inform coming.I asked a few questions causing a quarrel with a leader who I had appropriated.haha,all of the teachers didn't want to be involved in it and hide distantly.In fact,how come would we get really angry with each other at all.What we talked about was very important for all the teacher's rights and responsibilities.Yeah, In their eyes, there is only " money" which is what they only care about.Although school didn't speak of salary of making up lessons at the start or even gave no a clear one until now, they still said nothing merely full of anger in heart.Sometimes,I think it very hard to understand them,what they worry about and fear is too much, even our own time is taken up and all the work along with risk are distributed among the teachers.I went to the headmaster and talked about all of those,and I told him I only represented myself,having nothing to do with anyone else.All the words between us are very necessary and make my heart a bit easy.Actually, I prefer to give free lessons when I am free on Saturdays as long as school protect teachers' rights and think for teachers ahead.
    I am sure that most of students hate making up lessons,too.However, anyone of them can't break away from the evil hands of their parents and school.Many looked so painful and couldn't sit well in class.
    This is just society.No reasonAll the leaders can't stand by their promise.A really funny society.They are over drafting their credit.I have right to say,all what I should say.Even though we are all slaves,but I refused to become a soul slave!



  • Fighting for certificates!!

    2017-02-11 13:39:39

    2016-10-11 10:01

    After the activity of school's open classes,I was chosen to show another domo class in a farther place.I hesitated for a while at the beginning,for I have hated doing such things much.However,I have to agree on it because I need certificates these years,especially for my two"masters". Although I can take most of things easily in life now ,I still wanna show a bit perfect one as long as giving me enough time.But I have to teach the lesson which they ask me to. What I can do is just to wait. I want to  make a  good preparation ahead,but I have to wait.So I decide to forget it temporarily,as if nothing will happen.
    After the exams,I found that there was no need teaching hard at all because I felt I had been saying to the back blackboard alone.Yeah,in fact,they heard nothing or understood nothing,so this year should be a self-showing one.Actually,life is self-acting,working is self-acting and everything else....I must have prepared such a good atitude to face every part of life.
    Son got not bad scores in this exam,although he is so unsatisfied with them.Even he is expecting next exam's coming.I am so proud of my son for his love of studying.I should learn from him,start to learn!Get away from my computer.Weather is getting cooler,it's time to enjoy changing my favourite clothes.Everything I have believed in is right and I am so confident in myself.This is Me,love myself!!

  • Create another new home!

    2017-02-11 13:38:40

    2016-10-11 08:11

    A small house may attract me more now,because it seems warmer and more lovely.All plans are being carried on,and my heart was really a bit excited about it.These days are my husband's busiest ones for I stopped managing most of the things.He was a careful man and I am sure that he can make everything to use conveniently.Every evening falls,a dirt man comes to our home with a big smile face.He loves house decoration and never feels tired while thinking of another a small warm home.
    Dear son,come on,and in one year,we can move into the small warm house and begin to experience his hardest three years with him together in it.I love colours,I wanna paint it in my favourite colours,even don't mind whether it looks funny or exaggerated!I feel so happy as soon as thinking about that.This is our life,busy and full of hopes.Son is our hope,home is our castle where we can store all the happiness of our own inside.Some happiness can't be discribed by words,our life is just for a happier home more than anything else.We can give up anything else but everything of our family.Because of such a thought,I get away from all others little by little.

  • The Resolution of listening to classes

    2017-02-11 13:37:10

    2016-9-27 16:32 

    With lots of classes to listen,I feel very headache.This morning,I listened two of them,and tomorrow is time for me to show a class.It's about a few years since I showed class last time.How to face this class?Putting all my heart in or taking it easy?I think the latter is the better!I have lost all excited mood about doing everything except the business of my son and buying houses.
    Listening to others' classes seems to get into the hell and try to do some English exercises on my mobile phone.Although it seems a bit impolite,I really don't want to waste time.These days,I did too few useful things because of so many boring things.In those classes I have listened,the common shortcoming is that too few students are active to answer questions.So I will adopt some ways of encouragement to cheer them up~~add scores.
    Oh,something wrong with the computer and video.
    I hope I will complete a perfect class.
    Fighting!

  • Search for niceness!

    2017-02-11 13:36:07

    2016-9-23 20:33

    Some people like the sense of success.Some prefer more and more money.Some want to be a most capable person in front of others.Even some people eager to obtain all that they want.Just like seeing a flower,some like to pick it to be her own,instead,some just wanna enjoy its beauty,which is already enough.
    Coming to this world, all kinds of beauty make us lose the ability of recognizing which are nicer in such a world.
    In fact,nice and beauty are with quite different meanings.Niceness can give much warmth,but beauty can't.I love all niceness,which is maybe harder and harder to be foundHowever, I know it is just in one's heart and around us.We need to seek it very carefully,maybe throughout a whole life.

  • New work mood

    2017-02-11 13:35:05

    016-9-22 16:59

    Suddenly everything seems so busy and exciting  just because of the new computer.In fact,I spend little time on the computer or TV.I should arrange my time in work properly because i can't lose the time of learning.But I think it's a good start for me to cheer my work spirit.

    Lacking of sleep these days makes me tired but I try to accompany son's studying.Although sometimes i can't help falling sleep,I try to keep a clear mind.I am so worry about my son's lacking of sleep and really hate the education of today.Regardless of kids' health and life,through some news,I got to know that the life of future's children would be more and more terrible,not only from huge pressure,but also from big competition of the society.So worried about those small lives,coming to this world to suffer all the pains and being hurt.What should all adults and parents do is to give them all the warmth and happiness that they can provide,because all of the kids are really not so easy as us of the past.I really hate all the leaders because all the paying of the children is not only for children themselves,their family,but for those leaders with powers.
    I just want my son to study more happily and have a more relaxing life,which seems a dream in such a terrible world
    Study takes up children's sleep time,sports time,even little time for themselves.
    Why did our country carry out many good rules,but nobody obeys them?Even if many places and schools can't obey them,but why don't our country try to control and stop them?Just watching beside with one eye open and one eyed closed?
    I don't like such an age,making most of children only knowing exhausting their energy to pursue those so-called "good future."Fewer and fewer of them understand how to live and what happiness is in their grown- up days.
    While thinking of those,I really feel my heart hurt.Watching those hurrying students in uniforms in each street,watching my son's back in front of the lamp,what I want to do is just to love them.
     

  • Synchronized days.

    2017-02-11 13:33:47

    2016-9-4 21:56

    Having experienced only one week's study life,son said he felt very tired.Yeah,having no enough sleep at night,too little rest time at noonten classes each day and endless homework makes son exhaused!From worrying to getting the news that son entered one of the two quick classes, to these day's tiredness,son is tasting his own life.He told me it was so terrific that nobody spoke both in class and in the breaks,even students sat still after class and few went to WC.He told me it was a really depressing place,while I got very easy work this year,only having 7 classes one week.
    Anyway,I teach the same grade as son's.We both need to work on saturdays.The best is that we have almost the same timetable,the same time going to the school in the morning and at noon.The most terrible thing is that I have to stay up until midnight with son together.
    This year,too many changes and reforms appeared.It's certain that too many teachers are getting mad because of money and pressure.I shouldn't change my mind-set in work.What I should change is to give students more patience and sincerity.Wish I can be paid back in the end.

  • more work,more money?

    2017-02-11 13:32:24

    2016-8-22 19:58
    OK,I try believing all words in the meeting.Noisy crowds seem to have covered all my excitement for work.Today is really hot maybe because I seldom go out in the daytime and can't adapt to hot weather.At this moment,I see my son sleeping so sweetly,I want to do nothing,and only waiting for him to wake up.
    I often feel puzzled why the sense of joys is harder to gain now,although we don't need to worry about our life,son himself love studying and has his own dreams.Maybe experiences have influenced me and I can't go back to seek that simple,smiling and humore woman teacher,or I don't want.
    I asked my husband whether he loved his work?He told he didn't and more dislike those colleagues in his workplace.So we often plan to open a little shop in a few years when son entered college which belongs to us and we can try another new style of living.I haven't been a person who is hard to get on with.However,I even don't like to get on with them,which is my problem.Just be a person who laughs after others and gets far away facing uninteresting crowd-topics.I am lucky to meet a few very nice persons,and I am sure that they like me too and have similar views on many things.Merely, they are all much older than me.That they will leave this school much earlier than me makes me a pity.In fact,I don't like mid-aged women and men,although I am in such age.I love younger or older which sounds very strange.Maybe,the young and the old are more approach trueness,the young make me feel full of energy,and the old can make me learn much and know how to live.
    Taotao,wake up,my baby

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