Help Myself

I really don't know myself sometimes. Killing time, playing days, i hate myself deeply. Not to find job, i keep myself in a dark corner. i have become a strange person and that is not me, not the optimistic girl like before. it seems that i lost in a dead bystreet and cannot find a way to walk out. Perhaps i was wrong to get the graduate education, to come here, .why do i become so pessimistic about future? Maybe coming here was a big mistake, as Wuhan tooke misfortune to me when i came here in the first day . A little superstition, but the fact is so. i am not happy like before.As the age is going on, i cannot concentrate on study anymore. I should think about future, but i don't know how to do that. Seeing other students' excellent English performance, i felt inferiority and self-abasement. I can't help wondering what i have got in English. In fact, I always try to contribute all of these to my appearance and my  short stature.This is sheer of ridiculous. This is excuses. Cannot deny that this is the problem , but this is not all the problem for this. Many people like me have a brilliant performance and enjoy  a wonderful life. Maybe it is difficult to find a ideal partner , but i can have the ability to develop myself very well. Only this, can i have a better future. Why don't i try to grasp every opportunity to enrich myself? Come on! Gold help those who prepares themselves.