on a late night, one of my male friend sent a message to me: "have you slept". Of course, i didn't, as i was surfing on the internet as usaul. With my intuition, i got to know he must be upset for something, something that he didn't like to be conceived by other people. He was a very self-centered and esteemed person, and did not disclose any message about his personal life to common friends. Sometimes, i was excluded, as we were very close in heart. Exchanging some greetings, he asked :"supposed we were couples , what deeds i have done that you cannot bear"?Seeing his message, i felt a little bitter. i don't know why. Maybe he had some unpleasant thing with his wife or mybe he was troubled by other family things. I didn't ask why he asked this question, because i know he would't tell me.
Following this message, he added one sentence: as you understood me, so on ly you can gave me the answer.
Did i understand him? Perhaps yes, many years friendship made us so close in heart.
I really wanted to tell him that i can bear anything he made in my heart if we were couples. But i cannot say that. Instead, i told him to me more gentle towards his partner, to be less manlism in family affairs.
Then he continued asked what personality that i liked him?
I had to lie to him about this question, by saying that this belonged to the past, i didn't like him any more. God knew this was not the fact. I can'nt forget him all the years although he got married. His shadow lingered in the dark corner of my heart. however, i cannlt tell him all of this, for there was no meaning to do this.
He had family and should took responsibility, though maybe he didn;t lived a very happy life.
I and he still keep an intimate relation just in each other's heart. Sometimes, i trie to close this relationship, but i failed.
