crapping

Last night my bro text me that he was home on a long leave, and asked me if I am going home on tomb-sweeping day. Yes, I am. Dunno how things are between he and his wife, getting better? I doubt.

Seems that many people are stuck these days, like the weather gloomy and blue all the time. Have been losing sleep for a couple of days, I do look wan and pale, no wonder every time my partner would pull a long face when she saw me spaced out as if I was unwilling to be there.

My hair unkempt, my eyes drowsy, my life is a mess… I always slouch…I hate myself. Why can't I just make myself a little bit useful. emmm, I gotta change a new look before my mom see me, or else I have to face the music. So the most important is to take a good rest and have my hair cut.

Why the power don't go off after midnight as last spring, so that my roomies and I couldn't make it to stay up so late every night. Even sometimes I tried not to stay up, I just can't bear a dim beam of light or a slight noise from under my bed. What can I say when Ray has to pull an all nighter for his second bachelor's degree.

Sorry for crapping up here, maybe that’s the best way to vent my feelings.