我的最新日志

  • Poem written in new year

    2008-2-10

    You catch me everytime when I fall.

    Your love is truly as brilliant as the firework,

    even much more.

    Your love has lighten up my life,

    every darkness in my heart,

    wipen away my tears, fears and loneliness.

    All the negative feelings have gone away

    when I think of you.

     

    You are my shepherd,

    and I am your little sheep,

    you lead me to where the will is.

    You are a lamp to my feet,

    and a light to my path,

    with your love, I shall not fear,

    any storm in life and challenge ahead,

    because you are with me forever and always.

     

    Although we can’t live together physically,

    face to face, hand in hand,

    through thousands mile,

    you come over to me,

    right in front of me,

    sit beside me quietly and talk to me gently,

    when I pray to you.

     

    I feel your love through happiness and joy

    you have brought to me,

    through pain and struggle

    that are also from you,

    and things happened in life that is your will.

    You are indeed vividly alive.

    Why people can’t believe in you,

    only because they are unable to see?

     

    I don’t care how hard it is,

    I would hold your hands,

    follow your path,

    to wherever you lead me to.

    I am the safest in the arms of your love.
    Cause I believe, no a man, in this world,

    could love me tenderly and silently as you did.

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  • Ａday of relaxation

    2007-12-17

    It’s been long time I haven’t had a day of relaxation. Having been extremely busy recently for the sake of Christmas party, I was doing decoratetion for the stage, play, fashion show and dancing. I often slept no more than 6 hours a day, went out home after waking up and backed at night before sleep. I was so tired and exhausted, although after today, I get busy again, it is really nice to have a sunny day at home, no need to go anywhere, just relax and do something I want to do.

     

    After waked up at noon, I fed myself with stir-fried pork with green pepper and potato and capsicum stir-fry. I do these foods regularly, I don’t why, maybe because it is just so simple and tasty, or maybe it reminds me of a period of time. For the time, a boy, who was several years younger than me, cooked these two dishes for me.

     

     

     

    It’s my first time being take care by people other than my parents; even my ex-boyfriend hasn’t done this for me as I used to cook for him. It should be one of the reasons I finally made up my mind to say goodbye to him recently. Anyway, I have gone through all of these and I won’t regret for anything.

     

    I found the happiness was so simple, I became the most grateful when I was getting home from intern after a busy and stressful day and found these dishes were already serviced on the table. It’s difficult to describe how I felt and I was touch, he is 5 or 6 years younger than me, he never cooked before, he only know three dishes including these two, another one is stir-fried egg with tomato. He used to turn on the air conditioning before I was getting back from a crowed bus. He did not only cook for me, he always took the initiative to wash the plates and asked me whether I wanted some watermelon or not after dishes. Maybe I got touch easily, but he was the first person made me feel like coming home when I was not by my parents’ side for so many years.

     

    Since I was so tired today and only want some rest, I almost haven’t done anything but cleaning my small room. I picked up the dried flowers, which have fallen to the carpet by wind.

     

     

     

    Sometimes, there is strong wind in Aust, it blows the curtain of French window, making the dried flowers in my shelf fallen, and knocked over the flower vase. It was last time, the Naughty wind blew and brought the fried flowers on the carpet.

    These two shells have been collected from the nearest sea, where is famous for the white sand. My balcony has the bay view that I can see the sea far far away, I really love this view of the blue sky and the sea, it is easier to get rid of negative mood when you are exposed into such widen view of endless horizon.

     

     

    My shelf after cleaning. I also clean the clothing and dry them under the sunshine today. Everything looks so fresh after cleaning, the most important, I am getting much happier as after cleaning up my room and it is no more messy. Our teacher R said that cleaning is kind of repentance, we all have shortcomings in our personalities, cleaning just like clean our soul and correct our shortcomings, then we could become better.

     

     

    A day has been passed by so quickly, tomorrow I will become busy again, for this week, I need to make 3 cakes in 2 day, with one cake for 3 tiers. It’s challenging, although I could make them very nice and tasty, I think it’s challenging either to finish 3 cakes for the Christmas party in 2 days … I need to lose weight again and I think we won’t feel like eating cakes any more for a period of time after Christmas…

    Two desserts for sun service yesterday. mango custard tart and small bread, since I was so tried I misused the sugar instead of icing sugar and strong flour rather than weak flour, however, friends said they really like these small bread, although I make many mistakes but it tastes no bad.

     

     

     

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  • One day's breakfast

    2007-11-29

    Waked up in the morning, I feel really happy today. I opened the floor window to let some fresh air come in. After brushed my teeth and washed my face, I went to the kitchen to make some breakfast for myself.

    I have brought some soybeans yesterday as I really miss the homemade soymilk by my mother recently. When I was at home, every morning, mother used to make soymilk and some steamed breads or stuffed buns for father and I. I seldom feel thankful to this after I found that I really miss it. Sometimes, we could easily get used to something, then we lose the ability to be thankful as we took it for granted.

    Originally, I believe I am a kind of person that is grateful for many things. I could easily be satisfied by little joy in life, for instance, to have some tasty food, to see a beautiful flower, or sunshine coming from windows, to have a whole day to relax, listen to a nice song… However, I have learned that I am grateful as long as I am in good time, when I encountered difficulties or something that I am struggling to do; I lose the feeling of thankfulness. Nevertheless, I have also gradually learned that I should be thankful for everything and be smile no matter what happen and challenges ahead. As when I complain, feeling impatience, careless, losing sign of everything, even god, he will be sad, who want to live with a person has a frown and sighing all days long?

    So today, I only want to say thank you to dear god, thank you for the breakfast, thank you for the tea, thank you for giving us place to live, thank you for the garden downstairs, thank you for the beautiful flowers and green grass, thank you for the blue sky…… I also feel thankful to start a new day with this nutritious soymilk.

    The method of making soymilk is very simple. Anyone who is interested in it could make this at home. At first, soaked the soybeans overnight, for 1 cup of soybeans comes with 6 to 8 cups of water.

    Grind the soaked soybeans and water in a blender. Sieve the mixture and cook in a pot until boiled. Flavored with some maltose or sugar, after cooling, the soymilk is ready and can be kept in the fridge for another 3 days.

     

     

    In order not to waste the mixture of soybean, I added some salt, shallot and flour to make it into pancakes.  Then, I start a new day by having these nutritious soymilk and soybeans pancakes. 

    I have also cooked some Korean rice for sisters, as well as for the lunch. Although it’s pity that I was too busy in these two days so the meat has expired in fridge, there are only vegetables and eggs. It’s also simple and quick, just fired all the vege and then favored with Korean chili source.

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  • One day at home

    2007-11-27

    I hate to be all by myself. Sometimes, I feel lonely as I have learned that no one will understand me in this world including my parents. I do love them deeply and love to express difficulties I have encountered in life to them, but there is something they can’t understand currently and I can’t tell them. Sometimes, I feel like my freedom has been taken away, I can’t do anything I want, such as to find a boyfriend, or keep my relationship with ex-boyfriend. Even when I was running in the garden at night, and one guy walk downstairs to talk to me and ask for my phone number, I feel guilty that I didn’t walk away right away when he get closer to talk to me. I guess no one will understand what I am saying and maybe think I am strange…

     

    No matter what people think, I know I will not be regret as he is my lover and always companies me when I am sad, happy, in fear, losing hope and feel like losing my courage to move on. I guess god may want me to depend on him solely when I have such kind of feeling. I am his beloved one, I know, even though I can’t see him but I can feel him. He gave so much love for everyone, he is my strength, my safe harbor, leading me to the place that I can dance with him, talk to him, walk hand in hand with him, leading me to the place where there is green grass and fountain that I can laid down to relieve and have a rest. So no matter how hard it is, how difficult it will be, I will not walk away, I will not break the promise between god and me. The promise is like the colorful rainbow in the sky, so brilliantly beautiful and gives me lots of hope and happiness. So my dear god, please forgives me, forgive my unwisdom, my indolence, my neglect and so on. Please don’t get upset about me, please don’t turn your face away and please don’t walk out of my life.

     

    I know I was so unhappy today is not about freedom, it is because I didn’t do things I should do today. I should send resume and hunting for jobs today, but I did nothing… I was unhappy since I didn’t abide the words, I should be more active, sometimes, I hate myself I don’t have the passion and I was just too lazy to find a job. And I also hate myself I don’t have the perseverance to learn English, which is really crucial for hunting a job. But I know no matte how struggling I am, I should smile, as you love to see our smiles. So after wiping out the tears, I will move on! The Sun will always come out after the rain then I can see your face behind. So I will fight, I will try, I will keep on moving no matter how difficult, because I am really happy to have you in my life and without you, my life is meaningless. No one, no a man, in this world, can truly love and understand me and give me so much conform like you do, so that’s ok, I will be patient to wait, to wait for the right one you decide to send to me. So before that, I will be prepared.

     

    Again, in the end, this is the bread that let me think about our dear god, I call it golden sun bread…maybe the name is not good enough, but the golden color topping and the shape looks like the sun that just like you, give us so much love and warm. Again, I fighted in the kitchen for almost the whole day, I maybe crazy on that Saturday before Sunday service, I do lot of things, including this bread, cream mango pancake, shallot pancake, green bean cake…friends said I am more and more professional in cooking. I am happy to cook, I want to express my love for you through my cooking, and hope that people who eat my food can feel there is lots of vitamin L (love) inside.

     

     

     

     

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  • Don't know why

    2007-10-26

    Everytime I really enjoy my time when cooking, sometimes, I even think I would love to see my flatmate going to the uni, so that I can turn on the DVD player, listening to the song, at the same time enjoying my cooking time and thinking about god. 
     
    Today, when I got up I felt so happy, I went downstair to take lots of pictures from garden, the garden is just so beautiful currently, all of the flowers are blooming. Then I went shopping to buy some materials that I wanted to cook. I did enjoy my time when cooking, until when I nearly finished my dinner, I don't know why some feeling came up in my mind, I do feel a little bit lonely? It's long time I don't have such kind of strong feeling, since I was just so happy after getting to know and having god in my life.
     
    But I may understand how this feeling come from. From this week, I realised that my university life is coming to an end and we have only two weeks to go, then there won't be any class. I do think I change a lot in this semester, I start to listen careful in the lecture, trying to step up in the group and be prepared before the persentation. I have never done any of these things in pervious, although it's a bit late. After I found I did learn a lots (it's all because the words are changing me) it's a little bit unacceptable to realise that my university life is going to end. I do need to catch up and start to hunt for a job, especially if I do want to stay here unless until March rather than going back China for interview. otherwise, I can't imagine how life could be, everyday just staying at home and do some cooking? I can't make that for living.
     
    I am a little bit upset no because of there is not a "he", or say boyfriend by my side. Although I was a little bit doubt about it previsouly. I know god is my lover, and he fills my heart with joy, happyness and satisfaction. Now I can see the moon is arising, so bright and gentle with the colour of yellow, just like the face of god, it really comforts my heart.....and wipes away my upset, now I feel like full of energy again! I feel like I can run downstair on the garden for many rounds~~~! Although sometimes the moon is covered by the clours that I can't see it, but I know it's over there, whether or not I am able to see it or not, so I believe I can go through all of these and have a brilliant future by having love from heaven in my life. I will be always thankful and trearish these love our dear god have given to us.
     
    In the end, this is the chocolate muffin I have made today, one of the sisters is really good at making this and it's really delicious.
    巧克力muffin
     

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