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狗也知道这个谚语吗？
2010-03-10 08:00:48
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一个大学男生的爆笑求爱简历
2009-02-26 17:28:23
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加菲猫爆笑语录(图)
2009-02-26 17:24:38
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。One should love nciku.cn. It is so perfect. 每个人都应该热爱N词酷在线词典，因为它很完美。Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。The wise never marry, And when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚(联系)。Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。“Your future depends on your dreams.” So go to sleep. “现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧。There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk? 努力工作不会导致死亡! 不过我不会用自己去证明。Work fascinates me. I can look at it for hours! 工作好有意思耶! 尤其是看着别人工作。God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。When two's company, three's the result! 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是!A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动但并不妨碍你尽情的观看。The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多，知道的越多，忘记的越多，忘记的越多，知道的越少，为什么学来着 -
世界各地的蹩脚英语
2009-01-21 08:48:26
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爆笑：布什八年执政的尴尬瞬间(组图)
2008-12-09 09:27:17
布什同学终于快要下台了，这位总统大概算得上是美国历史上最会搞笑的总统了，虽然布什IQ很低，但情商绝对高，让美国人民乐乐呵呵地被领导了这么多年。来看八年来小布什总统的 个尴尬瞬间吧。1、跳舞的总统 Bush Shows Off His Dance Moves
President Bush gets down and boogies with African dancers at an event for Malaria awareness.
2007年4月26日，布什总统和夫人劳拉在白宫玫瑰花园参加“疟疾关注日”活动，布什总统及夫人劳拉被舞蹈演员邀请一起上台作即兴表演。布什兴致勃勃的敲打非洲鼓，并试图和舞蹈演员学跳非洲传统舞蹈。 （看第一夫人充满欣赏的眼神！布什的表情真不赖。） 2、总统被“偷袭” Bush Gets Violated By a Turkey
President Bush gets a surprise while pardoning a Thanksgiving turkey.
2001年感恩节期间，布什总统赦免一只名叫“自由”的火鸡，这只火鸡一下子撞向布什肚子。（火鸡被免了死刑，一时激动……） 3、总统的独特庆祝方式 Bush Gives a One-Fingered Victory Salute
During the later months of Bush's term as Texas governor, Bush tapes an interview at an Austin television station and flips off the camera.
还是德州州长的时候，布什先生对着摄像机来了个这样的动作。（同学……也太不雅观了。） 4、总统，往哪儿逃！ Bush Has No Exit Strategy
President Bush tried to escape from a news conference in Beijing after facing hostile questions from reporters, only to be thwarted by locked doors.
在北京开新闻发布会的时候，被记者问到了敌对问题，总统拔腿想逃，结果门被锁上了……（布什准是有过成功的经验才敢这么干。） 5、 总统先生的害国大计 Bush Can't Stop Thinking of New Ways to Harm Our Country
President Bush declares, "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
总统先生说：“我们的敌人革命精神强，应变能力高，我们也是；他们从没停止过想新点子破坏我们国家，我们也没！”（学英语同学一定要学好否定表达，总统先生的错误咱犯不起。） 6、“我的小山羊”“撞倒了”双子楼 Bush Reads 'My Pet Goat' During 9/11 Attacks
Bush sits in a Florida classroom on the morning of Sept. 11 reading "Met Pet Goat" to school children for 5 minutes after he was told that the second World Trade Center tower had been hit and that America was under attack.
2001.9.11早上，布什坐在学校里给孩子们读“我的小山羊”的故事。五分钟后他获知，世贸大厦已经被恐怖分子撞倒了。
Watch amusing footage of President Bush speaking at a campaign rally while in the background a 13-year-old boy is seen yawning uncontrollably, twisting his head from side to side, checking his watch, and looking thoroughly bored.
布什演讲慷慨激昂，却把后面一位13岁的小男孩给无聊坏了，一个劲的打哈欠、看手表，左顾右盼。
In his parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, Bush says "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter," punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock.
G8峰会结束后，布什将启程回国，说了一句：“世界上最大的污染源跟您说再见了！”边说边手舞足蹈咧嘴大笑，把旁边的英国首相戈登布朗和法国总统萨科齐看得目瞪口呆。（总统先生真豪放诶！）
8、跟您说再见 Bush Bids 'Goodbye from the World's Biggest Polluter'
9、女王的百年再访 Bush Says Queen Visited America in 1776Bush inadvertently mocked Queen Elizabeth II, saying at a welcoming ceremony that she first visited America in 1776.
布什一不小心戏弄了伊丽莎白二世女王，一次欢迎会上，他说女王陛下第一次访美是在1776年。（妖孽……）
10、总统摔倒 Bush Falls Off Segway ScooterPresident Bush falls off a Segway scooter, despite the fact that it is designed to be effortless and idiot-proof.
布什总统骑脚踏车一个趔趄摔了下来！要知道这种脚踏车号称是毫不费力的“傻瓜型”哦。
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一封写给英语系女生的情书--不知谁懂
2008-10-17 08:37:37
Dear wang litte girl:
亲爱的王小姐：
（翻译这句，我可费了不少心思，中文直接用”亲爱的”未免显得肉中有肉，麻中有麻，还是老外开放，一般
也可以用dear，这样自己的贼心可以得到满足而又不唐突。“姐”想译成sister吧，怕她理解成小妹，一开始就叫人小妹，我好意思开口，人家还不一定好意思应呢，把小姐译成little girl吧，又怕她理解成小丫头，这样“wang little girl”变成了王小丫，上天作证，我可没有喜欢这个漂亮的主持人，其实主要知道喜欢了也白搭，就象明知是垃圾股又何必再投资进去呢？最后采用考试时常用的方法-----丢硬币决定还是译成litte girl。）
From see you one eye, I shit love you.
（本想写”自从见你第一眼，我便对你魂牵梦绕”，可魂牵梦绕我实在译不出，只好写成”我便爱上你”，”便”译成shit是邻居小孩告诉我的，他说VCD里老有人说：”shit”，这个shit就是”便”。）
your eyes close,I die;your eyes open ,I come back olive.Your eyes close and open again and again ,I die again and again. 你的眼睛闭上，我就死了，你的眼睛睁开，我又活过来了，你眼睛眨呀眨，我就死去活来。
Maybe you do not know me ,no matter.one see clock emotion is pop.
“也许你还不认识我，没有关系，一见钟情很流行。”
（译一见钟情颇费了一番功夫，一、见、情都会，但钟字怎么译呢，一抬头，见闹钟上写着呢：clock，pop这个词是从电视中学来的，最流行的音乐唱片就是top of thepops，呵呵，处处留心皆学问呀。)
I think I should introduce myself to you.
我想应该介绍一下自己。
(事实证明我的英文启蒙老师很有远见，她说要是哪天你到了国外，要找外国MM套磁，就要用这句。不过，不知她有没有想到我现在是用这句话来唬中国MM。)
I call Li old big. toyear 25.
我叫李老大，今年25. （今天是today，那么今年是toyear，没有错的吧。）
My home four mouth people:papa,mama,I and DD.
我家有四口人：爸爸、妈妈、我和弟弟。
（还好，幸亏在网上混了这么多年，知道GG，JJ，MM，DD怎么写的。）
I beat letter very fast,because I am a computer high hand.Ievenact as black guest.
我打字很快，因为我是电脑高手，我甚至还当过黑客呢。
I do early fu*ck every day,so that I can have strong body to protect you.
我每天都做早操，这样我会有强壮的身体来保护你。
(“操”译成fu*ck也是邻居小孩告诉我的，他还说VCD里就是这么译的，人家外国电影不会用错的。)
Please come to eat and sleep with me, or I will cut myhair to be a monk , and find a place where many monkslive in to over mylife.
请嫁给我吧，否则我将削发为僧，找个庙来了此一生。
（实在想不起嫁字怎么译了，好在我脑袋灵光，嫁过来不就是和我吃住在一起吗？祸不单行，庙字我又忘记怎么译了，不过这也难不倒我，好多和尚住的地方不就是庙吗？为自己的聪明鼓掌！至于了此一生，打游戏时最后不是gameover吧，over当然就是结束啦。）
your old big
你的老大
（为了表示亲切，署名时我省去了姓，不过你的老大听起来有点象黑社会的感觉，算了，不管它啦。） -
中国美眉如何幽默地拒绝外国男人
2008-10-17 08:33:13
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极品爆笑：老外说中文最新版(组图)
2008-10-08 09:40:46
巨难看的黑人会讲中国话有一次我和几个朋友在伦敦的一家 台球房打台球, 旁边有一个长的巨难看的黑人. 我
的两个朋友就开始讨论他多难看多难看多难看, 讲了足足半个小时. 估计那个黑人实
在忍不住了, 忽然走过来用字正腔圆的普通话说: “ 朋友, 麻烦有火吗?” 我两个朋友当场傻掉.
一口京片子一口京片子
跟同事坐电梯下楼,遇一老外犹豫要不要进来,同事就用半调子跟他说：“up还是down,我们要down”老外乐一下进来了,
结果电梯下两层不知为什么直接上去了.同事急,在里面跳
老外就说了：“"嘿,哥们儿,别蹦了,咱这儿一梯子人哪”一口京片子还
我是哥伦比亚的我不是西班牙的，我是哥伦比亚的
上次在五道口吃饭，排队拿菜的时候听到一堆老外讲西班牙语
就随口跟我朋友说，语言学院西班牙学生还挺多的嘛
结果一高哥们回头，说“我不是西班牙的，我是哥伦比亚的，分辨不出南美口音和西班牙口音，说明你的听力还没过关。”
之后就端着盘子大摇大摆的走了
留下我和我朋友傻在那……
正宗成都话老外的正宗成都话
在新加坡遇到过一次,俺和2个朋友吃饭时遇到一黑发蓝眼老外帅哥坐在旁边,三色女就开始用成都说对面那个老外有点巴适,腿好长哦,然后又在讨论人家的怎么会是黑发蓝眼,从遗传学一般来说黑头发都应该是棕色眼睛~~刚说到这里,那个老外走过来用正宗的成都话说:染的"
三女全傻了,我还顺口问了句,哪里染的~老外接到说:春熙路上哈~结果我们落荒而逃~
老板，个巴马老子的面快一点老板，个巴马老子的面快一点
在武汉，我和寝室姐妹到门口的拉面馆去吃饭
等了一会，有点不耐烦了，正准备催
坐我们桌的一身形巨大的黑哥们一脸不耐烦地大吼
“老板，个巴马老子的面快一点” (武汉方言)
老板的回答暴强：“叫莫斯叫，都在等到在，你黑些就大些？？等到！！！”
他们跟咱们打招呼呢他们跟咱们打招呼呢
这儿的很多中国留学生住在土耳其人的聚集区，那些土耳其大爷没事就跟着学中国话。那天跟同学走过清真寺，听到坐在门口条凳上的两个大爷冲我们学猫叫：瞄，瞄，瞄，左右看了半天，是对我们说的没错，看同学若无其事走过去，赶紧问是什么意思，结果同学说：哦，他们跟咱们打招呼呢，甭理他。问是什么意思，同学说，他们中国话学的不标准，把你好联起来说就变成猫叫了，我说，那总得跟他们回一句啊，于是同学立马回头冲他们说：汪汪！
俺老家是昧(美)国的俺老家是昧(美)国的
我男朋友是河南的,在郑州大学打篮球,看见俩黑人穿的NIKE的篮球鞋,随口跟哥们说了句:“你说他的鞋是不是中国浙江产的”,结果那老外一口地道河南呛:“这鞋俺是从老家带来的。”我男朋友随口就问:“你老家哪的啊!~”那爷们说:“俺老家是昧(美)国的!”
别吵了，再吵把你卖给这个老外别吵了，再吵把你卖给这个老外
一次跟我的朋友(是个MM)坐电梯,同乘的有个酷酷的大胡子老外。那个MM一直唧唧喳喳说个不停，我就说：“别吵了，再吵把你卖给这个老外”。
就看那个老外，咧开大嘴，脸露喜色的用标准普通话说：“真的？？！！！”
我倒~~~~~~~~
英语太难学了英语太难学了
我是济南的，一次我爸爸的同事几个去美国出差，到超市买东西，拿济南话讨论，这是旁边有个美国人过来用标准的济南话说：“你们是济南的？！”同事们暴汗，聊了一会儿，原来这老外是以前战争时期留在中国的美国人后代，同事问他：“那你英文怎么样啊？”
老外一拍大腿道：“英语太他妈难学了！！！”
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爆强双语笑话12则(组图)
2008-10-08 09:33:54
艺术家An Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.
"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and
wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"He was your doctor."
艺术家
一位艺术家问歌剧院长，在画展期间是否有人对他的作品感兴趣。
歌剧院长说，“一个好消息和一个坏消息”，“好消息是，一位绅士问您的作品在您去世后是否会增值，我告诉他是的，于是他买下了您全部15幅作品。”
“太好了”艺术家高呼，“那坏消息呢”？
“他是您的医生”
青蛙和井The Frogs and the Well
Two Frogs lived together in a marsh. But one hot summer the marsh(沼泽) dried up, and they left it to look for another place to live in: for frogs like damp places if they can get them.
By and by they came to a deep well, and one of them looked down into it, and said to the other, "This looks a nice cool place. Let us jump in and settle here."
But the other, who had a wiser head on his shoulders, replied, "Not so fast, my friend. Supposing this well dried up like the marsh, how should we get out again?"
青蛙和井
两只青蛙共同生活在一片沼泽地里，但是一个炎热的夏天，沼泽干涸了，于是他们离开了此地，去寻找另一个适合生存的地方：如果可能，青蛙还是喜欢湿润的地方。
走啊走，他们来到了一口深井处，其中的一只青蛙往里看了看，说：看起来这里是一个凉爽的不错的地方，我们跳下去在这里定居吧。”
但是另一只比较精明的青蛙却说：“伙计，别急，假如这个井和那个沼泽一样，干涸了，我们怎么跳出来呢？”
好消息和坏消息Good news and bad news
The soldiers had been marching and fighting, they were dirty, hot and tired.
ne day, the general announced: "My men, I have some good news and some bad news for you. Which one would you like first?" "The good news!" they all shouted.
"OK," said the General. "The good news is that you will each be receiving a complete change of clothing." "Hurrah!" chorused the soldiers. "And now for the bad news. Jack, you will change with John. John, you will change with Tom. Tom, you will change with Robert. Robert ....
好消息和坏消息
士兵们连续的行军，作战，他们又累又热又脏。
一天，将军宣布：“士兵们，我有一些好消息和坏消息要告诉你们。你们愿意先听哪个呢？” “好消息！”他们嚷道。
“好吧，”将军说，“好消息就是你们每个人都可以彻底的换一身衣服。” “乌拉！”士兵们高兴地大叫起来。 “现在呢，该是坏消息了。杰克，你将和约翰换衣服，约翰，你和汤姆换，汤姆，你和罗伯特换，罗伯特……”
我也爱你I Love You, Too
Boyfriend: I'm not rich and don't have a yacht or convertible like Harry,but I love you, dear.
Girlfriend: I love you, too. But tell me more about Harry.
我也爱你
男朋友：虽然我不象哈里那样有豪华游艇和舒适的生活，但是我爱你，亲爱的。
女朋友：我也爱你。不过你能否告诉我有关哈里的一些情况呢？
聪明的小狗The Clever Dog
A little boy was practicing his violin, while his father sat reading the newspaper. The family dog began to howl along dismally. Finally, the father could endure the combination no more and said, "Can't you play something the dog doesn't know?"
聪明的小狗
一个小男孩在练习小提琴，他的父亲在读报纸。随着小男孩的琴声，家里养的狗也开始高一声低一声的叫起来。最后，小男孩的父亲实在忍不下去了，说，“难道你就不能拉一些狗听不懂的曲子吗？”
能让我们的老师回去吗Can we have our teacher back？
Once a superintendent of schools was visiting a three-room school. One room was very noisy, so the man grabbed a tall boy who had been standing up talking. He took the boy into another room and stood him in the corner. Five minutes later, a smalll boy came out of the first room and said, "When can we have our teacher back?"
能让我们的老师回去吗？
有一次，一位督学去视察一个只有三间教室的学校。一间教室非常吵闹，因此督学抓住其中一个正在站着说话的人，把他带进另一间教室，并让他站在墙角。五分钟以后，一个小男孩从第一间教室走进来，问道，“您什么时候能让我们的老师回去呢？”
更有礼貌Who's More Polite?
A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.
谁更有礼貌？
一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
昂贵的代价Expensive Price
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂贵的代价
牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母亲：二十五美元！可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀？
牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了。
心不在焉的教授The Absent-minded Professor
Absent-minded Professor: Heavens! Someone stole my wallet!
Wife: Didn't you feel a hand in your pocket?
Absent-minded Professor: Yes, but I thought it was mine.
心不在焉的教授
心不在焉的教授：天哪！有人偷了我的钱包！
妻子：你难道没感觉到一只手伸进你的口袋？
心不在焉的教授：感觉到了，可我还以为那是我的手呢。
三只乌龟Three Turtles
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
"We won't," the other two promised.
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
三只乌龟
三只乌龟决定去喝咖啡。它们刚到咖啡店的门口，就下起雨来。于是最大的那只乌龟对最小的乌龟说，“回家去取伞吧。”
最小的乌龟说，“如果你们不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
“我们不喝，”另外两只乌龟答应说。
两年后，大乌龟对中乌龟说，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回来了，我们可以把它的咖啡喝掉了。”
正在这时，一个声音从门外传来，“你们要是喝了，我就不去。”Is He Really Ill?
On a hot summer day an elderly gentleman faints in the street. A small crowd immediately gathers around him.
"Give the poor man a glass of brandy," advises a woman. "Give him a heart massage, " says someone else.
"No, just give him some brandy," insists the woman. "Call an ambulance,"
yells another person.
"A brandy!" The man suddenly sits up and exclaims. "Shut up, everybody,and do as the kind lady says!"
他真病了吗？
在一个炎热的夏天，一位上了年纪的男子昏倒在街头。一群人立刻围了上去。
“给这个可怜的人一杯白兰地吧。” 一位女士建议。
“给他一点治心脏病的药。” 另外一个人说。
“不，还是给他一些白兰地，”那位女士坚持说。
“还是叫一辆救护车吧。” 有人叫道。
“一杯白兰地。”
这时地上的那个人坐了起来，嚷着，“都闭嘴，就照那位好心的太太说得去做！”
重大事件Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.
重大事件
老师：1809年发生了什么重大事件？
小威利：亚伯拉罕林肯诞生。
老师：正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢？
小威利：亚伯拉罕林肯过他的三周岁生日。
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《大话西游》搞笑台词英文版(图)
2008-08-26 22:53:04
《大话西游》搞笑台词周星驰的电影《大话西游》曾以它无厘头的搞笑与癫狂的内涵表达，在众多观众的心中建立起了无法磨灭的“星”派印象，并掀起了一股“恶搞哲学”的热潮。看完这部电影的观众在捧腹大笑之后都大呼过瘾，而电影中的很多台词更被人们奉为经典，以至于在很多其他影视作品中都出现过类似的台词。那么今天我们就来重温一下经典吧！
1 你想要啊？你想要就说吧，你不说我怎么知道你想要呢？
You want? Speak up if you want! Why do you keep silent?
2 你又在吓我。
You scare me again.
3 莫非是一家黑店？
Is this a slaughter house?
4 长夜漫漫，无心睡眠。
It's a long night, no mood to sleep.
5 如果不能跟我喜欢的人在一起，就算让我做玉皇大帝我也不会开心。
If I can't be with the one who I love, I won't be happy even if I were Heaven Emperor.
6 要不要我把心掏出来给你看看啊？
Should I show you my heart?
7 可惜快乐永远都是短暂的，换来的只是无穷无尽的痛苦和长叹。
But happiness is always a flash of time. We only have endless pain. 8 有一天当你发觉你爱上一个让你讨厌的人，这段感情才是最要命的。
When you discover that you've fallen in love with a man you hate, this affair is really hurting you.
9 可我怎会爱上一个我讨厌的人呢？请你给我一个理由好不好？拜托！
But how can I fall in love with a person I hate? Please give me a reason, please!
10 爱一个人需要理由吗？不需要吗？需要吗？
We don't need any reason to love a person. Don't we? Do we?
11 你有多少兄弟姐妹？你父母尚在吗？你说句话啊！我只是想在临死之前多交一个朋友而已。
How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents alive? Speak up! I just want to make a new friend when I'm going to die.
12 所以说做妖就像做人一样，要有仁慈的心，有了仁慈的心，就不再是妖，是人妖。
Being a devil is the same as being a human. We should be kind. If we are kind, we are not a devil, we are a hybrid.
13 爱一个人是痛苦的。
Love means pain.
14 这样的话只是得到我的肉体，并不能得到我的灵魂。
You can just get my body instead of my spirit.
15 曾经有一段真挚的爱情摆在我的面前，我却没有珍惜，直到失去才追悔莫及。人世间最大的痛苦莫过于此。如果上天再给我一次机会的话，我一定会对那女孩说三个字：我爱你。如果非要在这段爱情前加个期限的话，我希望是一万年。
I have had my best love before, but I didn't treasure her. When I lost her, I fell regretful. It is the most painful matter in this world. If God can give me another chance, I will say 3 words to her--I love you. If you have to give a time limit to this love, I hope it is 10 thousand years.
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让老外舌头打结的英文绕口令集锦(图)
2008-08-26 22:46:35
基础级：
Tommy Tucker tried to tie Tammy's Turtles tie.
汤米.塔克试图系上塔米的海龟领带
Flee from fog to fight flu fast!
避开浓雾，感冒会快点痊愈。
饶舌级：
Sam's shop stocks short spotted socks.
山姆的商店备有带斑点的短袜 Six silly sisters sell silk to six sickly senior citizens.
六个愚蠢的姐妹把丝绸，卖给了六个有病的老居民
打结级：
Ripe white wheat reapers reap ripe white wheat right.
成熟的白色小麦收割者最懂得收获成熟的白色小麦
As one black bug, bled blue, black blood. The other black bug bled blue.
一只小黑虫，流蓝色和黑色的血。另一只小黑虫流出了蓝色的血
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超强的英文翻译!逗死我了~
2008-07-24 08:42:52
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游美国，学英语——街头公告牌
2008-07-23 09:41:50
图1
这是一个健身中心。名字叫做“让我变得健康！”
coach n. 教练 v.训练, 指导； fit adj. 健康的
健身中心可以为你提供的包括：
1.个人训练，即器械训练
2.训练课程
3.营养咨询
图2
这是一个牙医的诊所。
dentistry n. 牙科
D.D.S. : Doctor of Dentistry 牙科博士
图3
这是一个房产中介（agent）。
lease 出租
图4
这是一个美容&激光中心。
cosmetic n.美容 laser 激光
advanced adj. 高级的
laser hair remove激光毛发移植
electrolysis n.电解，以电针除痣
comprehensive 综合的
skin and vein care 皮肤与血管治疗
图5
这是三个中心放在了一个公告牌上。
suite n.一般指多房间的套房
theracare adj.有治疗功效的
massage n.按摩
healing adj.治疗的
orthopedic adj.整形外科的
clinical adj.临床的
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英语口语中的6个“小幽默”
2008-07-23 09:36:27
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盛夏里的“降温”词汇(图)
2008-07-09 09:25:43
盛夏里的“降温”词汇阴雨天气结束，气温迅速回升。大热天的，讲几个和冷的东西有关的俗语也许会让大家感到舒服一些。下面我们就来讲由“雪”和“冰”组成的常用语。
1 snowball
听到snowball这个字，我们脑子里就会出现孩子们冬天在雪地里扔雪球玩的情景。除了雪球的本意，snowball 也可以当动词用来形容某一样东西像滚雪球那样很快就变得越来越大。
下面的这个例句就是用snowball来形容一家餐馆的生意在最近几个月变得越来越好。
Sally's happy about how her new seafood restaurant is doing. Business was slow at first but it's really snowballed the last couple of months: now you have to wait in line to get a table.
莎莉对她新开的海鲜饭馆很满意。一开始，生意很清淡，但是最近两个月来生意越来越好。现在你要座位还得排队等。
又如：The latest polls show that public opinion is starting to snowball in favor of our opponent. We need to find some more good things to say about our candidate and find them quick.
最近民意调查显示，选民越来越倾向于我们的对手了。我们必须再找些有利于我们候选人的内容来加以宣扬，而且还要尽快地行动。
2 snow job
Snow job 就是用拍马屁、夸张等手法来欺骗或说服别人。在美国，人人都要买各种各样的保险，包括健康、房子、 汽车保险等等。那些保险公司的推销员靠着他们的三寸不烂之舌向顾客推销，说得 天花乱坠，你一不小心就会上当。
例如：This guy kept telling me how much I'd save with his company. But when I read the policy he was selling, I realized he was giving me a snow job. So I told him thanks but no thanks.
这个人一再对我说，要是买他们公司的保险我会省多少钱。但是，当我看了他推销的保险政策后，我才明白他是在骗我。所以我告诉他，谢谢，我不要。 几乎在生活的各个方面，你都得十分小心不要上当。例如：
That new man who's running for Congress makes a lot of promises what he'll do for the people. But I keep having this uneasy feeling that he's only giving us a snow job.
那个刚参加竞选国会议员的人做了许多保证，说他以后要为公众做些什么事。但是，我总感到不安，觉得他只不过是在欺骗我们。
3 to break the ice
To break 就是打破的意思，ice 就是冰的意思。To break the ice 作为俗语是指：缓和紧张气氛，使在场的人放松一些。例如，一个公司举行会议，参加会议的人都互不相识。那么，会议主席怎么来缓和一下气氛呢？
He started the meeting with a couple of jokes to get people to relax. Then he went around the table and asked everybody to stand up and tell a little about themselves and that broke the ice in a hurry.
他(指会议主席)一开始就讲了两个笑话，让大家放松一些。然后，他围着桌子让每个人站起来简单地自我介绍，这样很快就使气氛缓和了。
又如：It's hard to break the ice at a party for adults where everybody is a stranger. But you put a bunch of young kids together and the noise tells you they break the ice in five minutes.
一群互不相识的成人聚在一起，要缓和气氛可不容易。但是，要是一群孩子在一起，只要五分钟他们就很融洽了，从他们的吵闹声中你就可以知道这一点。
4 iceberg
Iceberg的原意是：在南北极附近海面上飘动的大冰山。但是，在当做俗语用的时候，iceberg是指一个冷漠无情，缺乏正常人热情的人，就像下面例子里说的这个人。
My boss is the smartest man I know. But he's a real iceberg: he acts like he has no feelings for other people. In fact you can almost feel the chill when he walks into the office.
我的老板是我所认识的人当中最聪敏的一个。但是，他真是个冷漠无情的人。他好像对别人毫无感情。当他走进办公室的时候，你几乎会感到一股冷气。
又如：We thought our neighbor next door was a real iceberg, cold and aloof to us all. But at his daughter's wedding he wore a big smile and was so friendly I couldn't believe he was the same man.
我们都认为隔壁的邻居是个很冷漠的人，对我们都很冷淡。但是，在他女儿的婚礼上，他笑容满面，非常友好。我真是难以相信看到的是同一个人。 -
美国50个州的爆笑座右铭(图)
2008-06-18 09:45:35
美国50个州的爆笑座右铭Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
阿拉巴马州：是的，我们有电!
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
阿拉斯加州：一万一千六百二十三名爱斯基摩人是不会错的!
Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
亚利桑那州：可是，这里的热是燥热呀!
Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
阿肯色州：有文化并不能代表一切! California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
加利福尼亚州：到30岁的时候，我们的妇女使用的整形塑胶的数量将会超过本田公司塑料用量的总和。 Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
科索拉多州：如果你连滑雪都不会，那么请别来打扰我好吗? Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
康涅狄格州：和马萨诸塞州几乎没什么区别，只是肯尼迪家族还没有拥有它。
Delaware: We Really Do Like The ChemicalsIn Our Water
特拉华州：我们真得很喜欢我们的水源中携带的化学物质。 时尚英语-美式生活
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
佛罗里达州：问问关于我们的孙子孙女的事情吧。
Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
乔治亚州：我们给极端的正统基督教信仰注入了一些“有趣的东西”。
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
夏威夷州：让美国大陆上的那些无用之辈去死吧，不过记得把你们的金钱留下。
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
爱达荷州：这不仅仅是马铃薯的问题......好吧好吧，我们不是这个意思，不过马铃薯绝对是真正的好东西!
Illinois: Please Don't Pronouncethe "S"
伊利诺斯州：拜托，我们州名最后那个字母S不需要发音! Indiana: 2 Billion Years TidalWave Free
印第安纳州：20亿年过去了，潮汐带来的波浪还是那么自由自在!
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
爱荷华州：我们能用玉米做惊天动地的大事儿! Kansas: First Of The RectangleStates
堪萨斯州：在所有长方形的州中，我们是一个!
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
肯塔基州：我们有500万人口，但所有这些人只有15个姓!
Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
路易斯安纳州：我们可不全是疯疯癫癫的法国移民后裔，那不过是我们的宣传活动罢了。 Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
缅因州：我们真得很冷，但我们的龙虾很便宜。
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can TaxIt
马里兰州：只要是你能想到的事情，我们就能对其征税!
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
马萨诸塞州：我们征收的税金可没有瑞典人那么高(对于大多数的税级来说是这样)。
Michigan: First Line Of DefenseFrom The Canadians
密歇根州：如果加拿大人发起进攻，我们将是第一道防线!
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
明尼苏达州：我们有一万个湖泊......还有10万亿只蚊子!
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
密西西比州：来吧，对你自己的州感觉好一点儿!
Missouri: Your Federal Flood ReliefTax Dollars At Work
密苏里州：你所缴纳的联邦洪灾救济税款能够排上用场。
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
蒙大纳州：这片土地上到处都是大片的天空、邮寄炸弹的恐怖分子和狂热的右翼分子，除此之外几乎一无所有!
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
内部拉斯加州：问问关于我们州座右铭大赛的事情吧。
Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
内华达州：红灯区里拉客的娼妓，当然还有纸牌游戏! New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
新罕布什尔州：走远点儿，让我们安静会儿! New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
新泽西州：你们想要一个很那个的座右铭是吗?好吧，这就是我给你们找的很那个的座右铭!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...
纽约州：你有权保持沉默，你也有权成为一名律师... North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
北卡罗来纳州：难道烟草不是一种蔬菜吗?
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
北达科他州：我们真得是美国的五十个州之一!
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
俄亥俄州：最起码我们不是密歇根州。
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
俄克拉荷马州：和演出很相似，只是没有歌声!
Oregon: SpottedOwl... It's What's For Dinner
俄勒冈州：斑点猫头鹰...它就是我们的晚饭。
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
宾夕法尼亚州：烹饪要用煤做燃料。
Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
罗得岛州：我们真得不是一个岛屿!
South Carolina: Remember The CivilWar? We Didn't Actually Surrender
南卡罗来纳州：还记得南北战争吗?事实上我们并没有投降!
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
南达科他州：比北达科他州要近一些。
Tennessee: The Educashun State
田纳西州：“教育”之州!
Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
得克萨斯州：是的，我会说英语。 Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
犹他州：我们的耶稣比你们的耶稣更好!
Vermont: Yep
佛蒙特州：是啊!
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
弗吉尼亚州：谁说那些刻板的政府官员不能和懒散的乡下人混为一谈?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
华盛顿州：救命呀!我们这里的蠢货和懒鬼已经泛滥成灾了!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
华盛顿特区：嗨，想当市长吗?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
西弗吉尼亚州：一个幸福的大家庭...真得，没骗你!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
威斯康星州：来切些奶酪了! Wyoming: Where Men Are Men... and the sheepare scared!
怀俄明州：这里的男人都是男子汉...胆小鬼只有害怕的份儿! -
不能不会的10句影视口语表达
2008-06-18 09:43:00
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郭德纲相声搞怪语录大全
2008-06-04 21:11:42
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一只脚门里一只脚门外
2008-04-07 10:36:47
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宝贝 那个男人到底是谁？
2008-04-07 10:35:12
