我的最新日志

  • living in this world is so hard

    2008-5-29

             Now, I haven't got any job since I began to find one three months ago. I am depressed badly by the presant condition, sadness, sorrowness filled with me. I don't want to do anything day by day.

            It seemed that it's meaningless living in this world.

             

  • what should I do?

    2008-3-09

           Today  I had the test for English majors, bend 8. When I walked out of the testroom, I am not very good, to say exactly, before the test started, I am not very good.

          I am a person whose psychological quality is very bad. I often complain that and this, when I meet some unfairs and setbacks. I hate to sit at the first place when having test or do some other things, if I find that I am the first person to do this or do that, I will not do it well even I can do it quite well. I  suffer a lot because of this.

         Another problem that anoyed me is that I can't belive myself to do some things well. I am so down, so dispressed.

         What should I do? In fact, if at the usuall time, I can pass bend 8, but at that case I ?
     
  • I am so depressed

    2008-2-16

         Long time since I came here last time, when I saw my blog, I am very depressed. There was no one leaving footprints in my blog. Seeing that there re so may people responding on other people's blogs, I am so depressed.Maybe my writings are so bad, just like Monical's comment. I like English very much and I admit that I learn it not very well. But I will make very effort to learn it, yet sometimes I don't know how to learn it well. Now I will have a test in a few days, but because of my work, I have no other time to review it, if I can't pass bend 8 this time, I won't have any chance, so I decide to make time to learn.

       

  • I can do only sigh!

    2008-1-17

            Today it sonws heavily,so most members in our office don't go home, we have our lunch in our office. After lunch, some of my colleges began to play cards. I don't want to play, so I went out with a college. I usually study, or wash clothes, or read some magzines in the noon. Because my home is far from here, I live in my working place. I don't want to waste time. There are lots of things for me to do, my condition is not the same as them, I don't have provisional work, but they have, I must study to find a formal work.

          It's 1:50, time for work, but they still play cards with no sense to work. This afternoon I have no classes. So I and some other members go to my classes, let those people go on their "work".

         I am very depressed. Some persons who have nothing to do don't go to work, but let some persons who are busy go to work. It's unfire. I am very disappointed about everything in the world.

          However, I can not, I am unable to change all this, I can do only sigh!

     

  • adapt it freely

    2008-1-14

          Somestimes I feel that we men live in the world is so difficult. The distance between rich and poor becomes largerer and largerer, the rich becomes richer and richer, the poor, poorer and poorer. There are many unfair things in our country. Many people can't have the ability to undertake the job, or can't do better than other people, but have a very job, because he has money, his father is an high offical; other people, excellent, do the hardest work with a low wage. Things like this can't be counted by digit.

         I do the same job as some persons in my office, even my work is much more than them, but my wage is only 1\5 of theirs. This makes me often lose confidence in doning somethings. There is always a feeling that what I do can't gain acception, but they still let me do that, do this. I can't balance in my heart.

         Yesterday, one of my colleges told her story. She said, her family is very rich, if she wanted something, she could. She didn't suffer anything till now, she lived a happy life from her childhood, her father is so rich. Hearing this, I thought my life.My family is so poor that I suffered a lot when I was very young, but I don't complain my parents, they take good care of me, even though they don't have money, they love me, and I love them. Even today, I can't find good jobs, I think I can't only depend on my parents, I must try my best to do best in everything, so today, even my living condition is low, I make my every effort to overcome it all the same.

  • sit there with no words

    2008-1-10

          Days seemed very long when you are ill. During the days I am sick, I don't want to do anything at all, and don't want eat anything, only sit there with no words. These days was very long for us to spend, it seemed that we live in a segrated world, far from your friends, far from everything. When we are in a very low spirit, we also have this feeling. We may think that himself\herself is the most misable, the most unlucky person in the world. At this time, all of other persons' are good except ourselves'. So maybe sometimes we don't have the confidence to cheer up. When I face this problem, I don't have the enough courage and confidence to overcome, I don't know how to get rid of this habit. Maybe time is the key.
  • it's the right time

    2008-1-09

             Yesterday, I am ill. I was very depressed, I bought some pills myself. In the deep night, I myself walked on the hollowed road, and step by step, I walked back to my living place, cold and wet. When I finaly went to bed, I thought a lot. I fell lonely and sad. It's time for me to find my another half, I want a family.
  • should we do it like this?

    2008-1-02

        These days, I was busy preparing the programmes that performed at the New Year's day gathering. Now that day is gone, I come back to the daily work. At first, our school's officals said that the purpose we held the New Year's day gathering was to gather togather to have a good time, no matter what your programme was, no matter how you prepared your programme. But the day before the party, we were told that we must perform it to some people first, and when we showed our programme to them, they said that the programme we prepared was not so good at giving people relaxation. So we perpared it form the very beginning.

       I felt very tied. We did so much for the Day, we should spend this day very happily, right? Why I had this felling?

  • what to do next

    2007-12-24

        New Year is coming. First Happy New Year to everyone, wish you good luck in the new year! But with the festival's coming, there is a New Year's festival gathering at school, because I worked only for a short time, and I am a new member, I must perpare a programme, this makes my spirit vrey low, because I can't sing a complete song, and I can't dance. Days goes on time by time, I don't know what to do. I want to learn a song now, but my thort...... 
  • what about you?

    2007-12-19

        Is there any connection between study and envrionment? Some people think that there is no connection between study and envrionment, but some don't think like that. Last night when I came back to my living-place, I studied a while. But when I studied for about one hour, I felt very cold. Because there is no eqipment for me to get any heat, and the house felt very cold. After some while, I went to bed. when I lied there I thought a lot. If my living-place is warm, then I can study a long time. Is it proves that I am so lazy and my spirit is so weak? Friend, what is your opinoin on this thing?
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