I use two days to finish reading a book named《memiors of Ingrid Bergman》.It touched me so many feelings.From a single-parent family to a girl who stuggle to her file-star dream,she was facing so many decisions to make,and no one in the world could help her,even his husband or lovers.Though I am not very agree with her divorce with her first husband.

    But she is a charming lady who have her own idea.I am very appericate about  that her tenderness and independence after she experience many distresses which are never writen on her face .Maybe that is the highest compass to be a women,and she had tried her best.

     I always believe that no person's life is entire.'Cause no one knows at the time of the birth he or she have known to deal with all things.Then he would hurt.And these hurts not only accompany all his life,but also effect his outlook of the world and life,equally effecting the his decisions about life.No one would avoid hurts,so no one would perfect.

     But thers are sitll some great people they tried their best to walk out the trap in thier life road.Except Ingrid Bergan,I still appreciate Zhang manyu,a lady who is the symbol of being mature and charming ,from which we know there is a beauty called never-old,even one day getting older with wrinkled skin on her face with time.

      From media report,I get to know that she made some boyfriend ,and she tried her best to love.But every piece of love has not come to a round-off result.But she conquer herself over the beatens with wisdom.What is the most important thing in life?Love,money,friendship or sth else?As I know from Zhang's story,she has ever thrown all her savings,including her true love to a man she believes to accompany all her life.Finally she not only lost her bills but also the belover.But she cheer up and immediately to restart her new prosperous life.

      Why should we meet the same mistake again and again.That because we cann't learn the lesson form our former fault and cann't contol ourselves the mistaken action which formed in a long time and come to an inertia.

      I guess the wise woman in history is so great is because they come over the inertia with wrong ideas.It is so hard so a women who can do is great,and maybe in our life such women are uncountable!Mostly,they are normal without public attention.So,believe you can also do such great thing .

 

                   

      The postgraduate examination has finished two days before,and untill now I could cool my head to memorize the process and write down these words.It indeed give me many notes that worth sharing.
      The first thing that I feel a little regreted is that if possible next time I should try my best to get clear about which examination roon you are in the day before.'Cause I am a little tired and try to take a wishful thinking that I could know it in a short time.But in fact,it took me more than 40 minutes untill I asked one candidate who was at the same examination distrit as me.I really began to doubt that if I could find my room before 8:20 when the exam has began in a sence.I just wanted to know how many scores I could get even I haven't reviewed the books.And it can give me a lesson which I can learn from for the next.So I really didn't want to miss any test of the four.God helps me!

The second thing is I should believe myself no matter how  great and famous  the college is if you has prepared diligently, your dream will come true.When I answer the paper I found the questions are ones which have been mentioned by my teachers when I studied in school. But I am not a obedient student who buried herself in specialized subjects.And if I carefully reviewed the major points of the subjects,I also can obtain the scores.But I couldn’t.Especially at the final test,I received a large sealed testing envelop in which another copy of paper was prepared which the teacher purposely  set for the students who have working experience related our major. The questions are the phenomenons which happened in the past one year and are  closed to  our major.The teacher aske us to use the Principles to anlysis. But I  haven’t notice the events and donn’t know how to deal with.When I came back,I found if I had treated a little serious, I might have less regret. The possibility  might has given to me, god and the teacher has given us the chance,but I didn’t cherish.

 

   I see the hope, and  give myself another chance,and it is the last,I promise.

     

As the Chinese new year is coming,the family members who are outside are preparing to go back ,so it is with me.Every year I would choose some special present for my parents;, my elder sister and my young brother.From the bottom of my heart,the fact no person will send me a gift for the coming year makes me sad. Now I felt tired,and felt pressure that from myself.
   I send a message to her just now and tell her I choose an inexpensive thing for her as a wish her happiness in the coming year. There so many paybacks which make me stress out when I am at thought of them. You cann't avoid those things.I hope she could understand my painstaking words.She is a good and kind girl except for some shortcomings.And we are the same in some aspects.But I hope in the future she could live well with her husband and can deal with things in her life appropriately.I wanna to insist sending her a gift every year which makes her inspired when she felt alone for struggling for the happy life.
  My family member often feel apologized that they didn't care me very well with some aspects among the three children.That is not completely their faults,although I felt hurt when I reminice some things at some time.Actually I often feel my mother is a strong-will woman when I stay with my boyfriend.At that time, I am very appreciate that she could tolerate the lonely days when my father had to go out for making money.(in fact,this also give a lesson that as a woman,you should not only tender to your husband all your life,but also you should have the ability to support your family's life.Otherwise,the couple would be seperated for a long time.)
   Everytime I went back,A would do something good for me to eat.At one time I felt unaccustomed to that,'cause those things cann't be the compensation.What she do is just for her futuer days.Although these words I would not speak out,and just do the housework as before.But now the environment and mood is changing.Maybe something at some time,your thought would be changing.(one thought is right at that time,the situation at that time determines your feeling,you cann't deny you are wrong).
   So I should keep strict with myself,then I have the ablity to influence the people around me.As the time goes,they would know what a person I am.Maybe there are some things which makes me moved,but I cann't be exposed to.I  I know once you lost yourself and my life will be involved many trivals those are superficial.

   Once your treat a person you should be sincere no matter I would choose words or silence to you.And I should be a sincere person no matter what kind of the person he or she is.You can choose silence,but you cann’t choose to lie to others.That ,in fact is lying to yourself,and do bad for your moral character.

   Tomorrow will the national postgraduate examnation.I know different students or participators who have jobs will have differnt moods.Take me for example,as I have been always badgering with trivial matters,and didn't pay much time in the good job,so I just won't give up with a feeling that the most important thing is to participate.And one day I can tell my son or daughter"yes,I indeed konw what the meaning or feeling when you persuilt a postgraduate degree"

    I doubt if I have the hope to be a postgraduate student in the college one day as the responsibities are coming.It is different from western countries,the descendants have great idea of family,though this has been weaken a little in some parts of China.And maybe the parents didn't give you too much pressure,but sometimes I feel I don't have so much energy.So,I begin to give up,and have the clear realization about this Examination.In fact,I am workong very well,being praised by the boss and colleagues.And I am insisting learning with a modest quality.

    So I will try my best to do the things that is worth.And take for granted the things that I cann't do well.You know,happy and lost,hope and despair are not the monopoly of the youth.

   

 

     I have gone to China's many places.But I found the city which gives people the feeling he is safe is Shanghai.The conclusion that can can be most illstrated is the patrolman at night.

     When the dawn is coming,the patrolmans  in different communities get together.Armed with full equipments,they talked and laughed,seeming so happy and proud of their work.Even though there would be nothing happen at that night,but the apperance of them give us a feeiling of safety,and the terrorist a feeling of great precautions.

    But in Guangdong,not only the policemen but the local inhaitants will tell you to watch out for the thieves.And at night you cann't walk outside ony one person yourself.The theft will be happen at any time,of course,you maybe not meet with such case.But your friend will tell you"Oh,you are so lucky,and you are so bold"

    saluted to the patrolmen!

   

     I have gone to China's many places.But I found the city which gives people the feeling he is safe is Shanghai.The conclusion that can can be most illstrated is the patrolman at night.

     When the dawn is coming,the patrolmans  in different communities get together.Armed with full equipments,they talked and laughed,seeming so happy and proud of their work.Even though there would be nothing happen at that night,but the apperance of them give us a feeiling of safety,and the terrorist a feeling of great precautions.

    But in Guangdong,not only the policemen but the local inhaitants will tell you to watch out for the thieves.And at night you cann't walk outside ony one person yourself.The theft will be happen at any time,of course,you maybe not meet with such case.But your friend will tell you"Oh,you are so lucky,and you are so bold"

    saluted to the patrolmen!

   

    For the private computer has gone with something wrong,so I couldn't write the diary in the blog until today the house owner came to insolve the problem.

     The new year has come since five days ago.And these days I met nothing special and just worked and worked.But when I land the space of my blog today,I found many old friend has been missing these days also.

    I will continue to write and insist in doing it.Haha!

      Today is the first day of another year,I wish myself a good new year.Reminicing the past year,I began to understand there important rules that I should follow:

      The first is that time is mortal,do the most important thing,then you won't give yourself too much trouble.For the past three years since I gratuated from the University,I managed to give me the most biggest space to touch many things I would like to,and I had many dreams for the future's life,plenty enjoying happiness of the process that they had.But as the awareness of the responisibility to be a family's important role,I find I should choose one of them as a way to support my living,and spend more time on it and develop the field deeper and deeper,but spend less time on other things.

       The second rule is beatuy is a very important thing for a lady.You cann't have any doubt on it.Yesterday I went shopping with my boyfriend.As the temperature went lower and lower,I took out my cotton clothes and put on,although it is a lillte out of fashion,and make me look a little childish,but it is really keep me warm.In my eyes,it was my free time not the working days.So,I needn't pay much attention to that.But I am wrong,when I arrived in the People Square railwaystation,I found myself simply a countrywomen(God knows I am not a person who treats people with a specified colour ,I can understand the hardness of working people,and we are the same.)I told my boyfriend if my college meet with me,they would say "woo,Linda,today is not Hallowmas."Really,I found myself was so much lack of self-confidence among the people back and forth.And I began to realize why some girl ,who maybe has the same ablility could earn more salary than me.In one word,that is one useful thing I should try to enhance.

      The third rule is too long time of ease will make you forget how it comes uneasily and how much you have paid for in the old days,not only phsically but mentality and you should be working harder,but not indulging yourself too long time.

       Happy new year to everyone,and more healthier to you and your family!

    I donn't know how to express my meaning clearly,maybe it is the problem that I haven't master enough words and idioms in the language of English.What I want to say is that if one person's characteristic is out of question,then his or her life cann't be too bad that he or she cann't be called to a really living person.

Today I read a net friends' diary,and she wrote that she recently found that her teacher ,Nithan,was a graduate of elite grandes ecoles(Tsinghua Unversity)and the very best of science entrance examination to University in 1996 of Shangdong province.She was so astonished for Nithan's background (maybe Nithan has never mentioned about his experience before her when they work together.)Finally,she foun that stand to reason.Nithan is a talented and appealing man,not only his outstanding project experience but humorous style of language show that his good education.

 When I read the passage,I was killed by her teacher's great personnalities.And it also made me believe the glamour of silence which I all the time stick at.For a long time,there is a misunderstanding in people's eyes that to keep silent is a subsidiary way to communicate with others.But it is just opposite in fact. We know the most important thing between us is to share ideas.Maybe it is we that use words excessively,so we have ignore the value of silence.But sometimes,we know language is pale.

        Do you sometimes feel upset or something that uncertain in life will give you a ghost of fear.These days I am so recently going through the same sad experience, 'cause our new manager hasn't come up in my department,I know only too well ,especially for a green hand in our company,what is means.

        About ten minutes when I alone stayed in the office, my mind couldn't help wandering here and there,sunking in a deep thought about many many senseless things.But then I suddenly find the key to this bad feeling--maybe it is just an exterior pressure I give myself,since the things no matter bad or good will happen unchangeably,why not give myself a bouyant mood.Then I feel much better,and complete the job of today's splendidly.

        So,when you feel lonely or upset,or impetous,please relax yourself,and your mood will be coloured with an beautiful background.And everything will change at that one moment.

        

      It is indeed that we cann't keep a calm state of mind when we see our millionaire neighbour,fast-promotion or high-salary shoolmates or friends.But impetousity always make us restless,miserable and worried.Untill we experience the feast and famine in our life,we begin to realize:whenever,a quiet and undisturbed feeling is necessary and important.

      To handle everything calmly should be owing to a reflection of one's good temperament and a sensible attitude to life.It cann't be avoided from the uncountable contradictions and conflicts.When facing them,it matters one's fate that on earth we choose to keep calm or impetous,In our life,we would meet fortune and adversity unavoidably.So,to face the society stoically,it is good to reassess ourselves,to clean up ourselves in happiness and unhappiness,enjoy the truth of life.

      Facing the problems squarely and with a level-headed detachment attitude.It will good for you to know the beauty and ugly,distinguish the great and little,and also become generous,reasonable,selfless and wise,enhancing our temperament and quality.

      So in some people's eyes,that life cann't be hard any more,in fact,is not so hard,if we are far away from the miserable impetousity,to keep one ghost of calmness.Any puzzle in life will be resolved.
      Laughing over the annoyances,and spending your life lightly.In the process of your life,your will read the truth,and feel the harmonious relationship in the individuals and the society,and creat the glory in common days.The sun and the moon take turns to shuttle,make the days and nights are laid before the long life road;the flowers bloom and fall,make colours of four seasons on the substance of human beings.The early mist and the setting sun continue our average and ordinary life.For an adult,in his short process of life,he should face the reality squarely and put the time to finish the task he shuold take over,such as creat a family,respect the older and bring up the children,and open up many fields he is able to.

　　

      At the curving of the life road from an unconstrained girl to be an lady who has family,I am so eager to give me a place to make the life't blueprint.What is a good life,and how to spend a good life?As one of the 80's,we had experienced too much accompanying by the China's development in recent 30 years,such as the policy of reformation and opening to the outside world,the basic state policy to promote family planning in an all-round way(this policy change many children's fate,especially girls in country,as I know),the reformation of the national entrance exammination of unversities and the coming of computers'era.

      So much happened,and those are not only to promote China's general power,improve people's level of life,but also to leave some questions for us to think of.And many "whys" come out.For example,why so many 80s and 90s parents choose to divorce so popularly,and tell the child to receive when he or she had no time to enjoy the family's warmness and happiness,and why the same age of the 80s,but have different fate,'cause before the year of 1999 in which the chance to further education was much larger than before.Many senior school students who have hope to study in unversities couldn't catch the oppurnity.

      Different experiences mold different person.One reason can cause different results.Maybe the hardness could make a person ,but also can ruin one completely.Those who are always blaming for environment would not understand this truth,although there is some sense in their thought.('cause one wounded experience in youth is more harmful than harsh words,and it likes an small tree didn't have the right place to grow.)In China ,some groups of 80s children cann't understand that more.

    Now they grow up as adults to face the reality of a mature animals' world.Then how to be an adult.I asked the older,and looked up some information,and find the elementary answer: to judge p a person to be a mature person whether or not,the standard is the growth of mentality.If one person can think independently,and have his own moral principles,and know he should do things by himself,but not to count on others' help to resolve his own problem,and not easily influenced by others opinions,then maybe he is mature.

     But the experts said that the maturity in mentality is the most diffcult.And some people even arrive in their old,they donn't have the realization to be self-independence in mentality.Ao,they cann't be called a mature persom compeletly.One who wants to be mentally mature,he should promote self-support,adhering to study hard ,and relfcts his own thoughts and feelings,bettering his ideological system,and enchacing his intoward world,which makes his power of intward more strong!

 

   Tonight is Christmas Eve,Dec,24th.And on the morning,I received a present from a friend made in work.Those are a box of Dove cholcate and a box of milk and coffee candies.I am so happy and enjoyed with my boyfriend and colleagues.

   But there is something wrong with my stomach and intestines.Because I always cann't help to eating more what I like.Learning to control myself,and it is the critical factor to do things well.Treat it as important as taking morning exercise!

   By the way,I sent some blessing messages to friends(except my family members,'cause I send my wishes to them in heart which cann't speak by words but by action),including Prisident Lau,vice president Zhao.They are the elderly and we should pay greater respect to them.But I send them a message"when the chritmas is coming,birth happy,and happily birth(merry christmas!)"Woo,I just want to make them laugh and enjoy the holiday's pleasure by my first intention.But later,I found it was not suitable to send blessing wishes to them like this ,maybe some traditonal better.

    But finally president Lau also send his best wishes to me.So,to a certain extent,he didn't blame on me and gave me his understanding.However, the most important is I should work hard,study hard,and taking care of myself well.You must do before you say,or once you say,try your best to keep your words.

    Today I occasionlly read the items of news about《Lust&Caution》which is a world-wide famous film directed by Lee'an ,and are featured by Liang Chaowei and Tangwei.From a point of professional view,they acted very perfect,though there are some sex descrīptions in the film.

    when the film was performanced at home and abroad,relfections are different.Still there are some disagrements on the sex descrīptions,even making them as a focus to disscus.From the bottom of my heart,I am adored of Liang Chaowei,and have admirations for Tangwei for her mature performance skills and deserved praise on one after another contests.

     But I feel puzzled.Maybe what the feelings they haveare not far from some people in our life.So we don't have the necessarities to talk much about the sex fragments,but what the film gives the intention to us.

     If we talk put a mistaken focus,it will make great harmness to the actors relatives and their family members,like Jialing Lau,etc.I think there is a ghost of anguish in Jialing's heart as a woman who loves Liang deeply.No one wants her man to have the performance with others.But not only her and the people of us had to give a comprehension to the two leading actors,'cause the film is something else more than a lustful play.

      Of course,everything wii go away,if there is something wrong coming out between the couple during the very period,people's words will be the old story.On the other hand,I am thinking,when we were ill,could we have the enthusiasm to talk about those things?Life is mortal,maybe today is your end of life.But when you leave you find you have so much things that haven't been done well,you will feel you are so unable to leave the world.

      Additionaly,when the authority home and abroad demands to cut off the details that referring to lustful details,Liang threaten to death to Director Lee that they cann't be cut down,and it works.From this point,we can see that it is a hard determination for the actors to play the film,and they are not joking for their action.

      Today I went to Shanghai International Studies University for Senior English oral certification and some more information about the test.When we get back,I bought two books on it preparing the next years' test in September.Suddenly I found I have so many books to read on the desk of my books.

      The trip to have also includes liwen,who is my college roommates.And both of us chose Shanghai as a place to futuer life.We have two years in which we didn't have each other's news.And both of us had a new life when we saw each other again.Although we were happy today,and being good friend ,but I knew that something in our life change,maybe it's the road of our life.What you do today decides the life in the next three years.

     But the most important thing is my way of life.Only I treat myself strictly,I have the right to tell others sth that I think is right.A problem is why I can treat my friends so warmly,but I cann't treat my relatives so well?

     Treat your family members like your friends,and chang your way of thinking. 

   yellow

    I would like to describe one feeling as"yellow".As an adult,I wanna to konw where is the best school for us to accept further educiation.Everyday,there so many things changing,how to hold us among the complex environment?I find that everyone around you is a vivid example.His words,his action in the office,and etc,are the relflection of his experience.So donn't laugh others' behavīor,maybe if you were him,you would do the same.On the other hand,you can arrive at a correct conclusion.If you have valued,you would be benifit,and if you ingore it,you also do the same stupid things.

    blue

    Yesterday afternoon my immediate superior was fired.When we received the news,both of us were so surprised.Really,it was all of a sudden.he told me the reason was that he and our Senior X had conflicts,although he didn't want to leave the company from the heart.The gap between them was into open?"Maybe the unit has new plans."From another angle,as a subordinate,I was thinking I wasn't ripe enough to help him when he had contradicition with x.Maybe I can sue for peace,and tell him more patient,waiting is the best choice.Instead,I have been ever complaining to him that the subordinates under him didn't finish the work in time,and then saying what we can do is just to do our work in our place,which will be ok.I felt if I should tell him not to be anxious.It is a neglect of my duty.I felt so sorry,although there may be another important reasons for his departure. 

    Today I met him in the MSN.I encouraged him not to be frustrated,but I felt maybe he is little understanding my words.I was a little worried that if he was a little resentful feeling towards me.Actualy,I was sincere.Maybe to him,there is no use to say these words.The general manager assistant Luo today in the morining tole me that" From now on,it would be only you to face a big challenge",and I know also to face many people's eyes,I felt a little isloated,but no one can understand.

    So,I felt sad,for many reasons......

   

   

    Today,my direct superior does not work in my companny again.I feel a little sad.From I started to  work  in this company,he worked with me.beforetime we only talked something about work .

     The paragraph above is written by my boyfriend.He always regrets that his level of English is bad.And yesterday I felt not very good,but I told him that my English diary han't been written yet.So he left those word without my permission.But I have already forgiven him,and have you,my friend?After all,learning and writing English is not a bad thing.I like his participation.

     These days an idea occured in my mind that:what is the most siginificant goal in my futher days?I felt I have lost myself and donn't know what the meaning that I have done is.I learned again and again,here and there,but donn' like to indulge myself in  money one day.Still there are many things getting my nervous?why?And what  the problem is?!

     Then an idea began to come into my mind.Maybe the time belongs to myself only has fininshed.From now on,I am not belong to myself only.I belong to my boyfriend who will be my husband,I should be an eligible wife,do what a wife shuold do.We will have children,I should be a responsible for her or him,to teach her or him how to be a quarlified human-being .And our parents are getting older,I should have the ability to support them,to be a dutiful daughter or law-daughter.

    So,I could not do things carpriously like a child.At an earlier time,I felt miserable the time when it occured me that I would not be free,'cause there so many people around I should reckond into in the futher.But when I came round to this profound question,I begin to more open-minded.In fact,I am not only live for myself,why shuold I always feel unhappy and impatient?

    Insist in having regular eating habits, takeing exercise,and good living habits.I do the beautiful things not for myself,and cann't only for myself.That is too selfish!

    Yesterday I met an old friend in the QQ space.He asked me if I was in Shanghai.I told him"yes".Then he send his good will to me with words that your are a conscientious girl,and anything you do will be ok.I know,his words not only convey the best wishes,but also tell me to be a conscientious person on the important things.

    We have gratuated from school for more than two years.Recently,as I joined the qq group of classmates in our college days,I met many old schoolmates like him.It made me look back on the old days.For me,I have take many crooks,and the fundmental cause are my bad habits,such as eating much snacks,being self-enclosed(shutting myself from the rest)and donn't like to communicate with the others.For many reasons,I miss many good opportunities to change myself.It was a sad memory.

     In their eyes,Shanghai is a good place for young people.And people who have the boldness to come,are be haloed by an irreal ring.Maybe it is a good place to work,but not for all young people.There so many reasons untill I suffered setbacks one after another to understand.So,I said I am imeligible to enjoy people's good words.If principles for me to be remebered always in heart ,should be told by setbackes,I think the prize words is useless or much less meaningful. So,I said I am imeligible or not deserves by those beautiful words,and never.For every progress,you should pay for it.If you accept these beautiful words,naturelly you will give you more pressure,and you will pay more,which will make you lose many many valueable things.At last,you will find it is just a misleading road which you will never find the end.

   Today the house owner told us that the apartment would be not for rent next year.It was a sad thing.But we had to accept the fact.As I was busy today,my boyfriend alone to find the next location.He was searching online in different websites when I was taking my naps.Then I heard his calls to the house-ocuppiers who has house to let.I donn't know why,suddenly,I have felt a little pain for his earnestness with calls one after another.

    As a man,he tries his best to give me a peaceful sky free of horizons about life,and try his best to give me what I want.I have felt happy with him.These days I have troubled with some other things,about work,even have some sentimental feelings.But at this time,I felt that the earnest thing I should do is that I should persist in studying English,doing well my work,and keeping my good habits,such as eat less unnecessary things,cherishing more prize things,like my quiet life,my loved boyfriend,etc,and taking morning exercise,being an eligible prospective bride and mother.

     What is my task in the following days?I begin to realize maybe the first is to say goodbye to the old days ,and the second is to build a warm family,to learn more in order to earn more money,and some day we can live in a house belonging to us,which the older and the younger can enjoy the life.Also,I should keep the beauty and temperament as a woman that the time favors.There is no time to reminice the past,and no necessarity.