Simplify your life.

      The more your want, the less you can part with. The less you can part with, the more burdens you have. The more burdens you have, the less easy you feel. So we must simplify our life. We can unload many burdens off our shoulders with our own power.

     How to simplify our life? The quickest and best way is to ask less. We cannot get everything all the time. Even if we get everything, we cannot enjoy everything, so why don’t we just let go of some and keep some? Once I hoped my friends could call or text me everyday. After a period, I understood that I was so disappointed just because I asked too much. I went against the reality.

    Once I had many materials in my USB. Of course some were left long before. I didn’t want to part with them so they occupied much space. One day I found I could no longer store materials because all the space had been occupied. I realized how wrong I was.

       A human’s brain is like a USB. If it is occupied with many things that are past, waste, or useless, then it cannot be used any longer. We should clear up it after a certain period so that it can take in new things. We are not god so we cannot get everything at hands. Remember; Part with a part and keep a part. Simplify your life.Enjoy what you are doing. Life is too short to feel sad, disappointed and regretful.

      My brother said he wanted to return to school on the phone:"I hate this place. I am left alone at home and have to endure all the quiteness." "Why not visit neighbours?" asked I. "There are only several households and all the cousin brothers and sisters of my relatives work outside!"  "Too bad."  "I want to come back, desperately."   "Better not," I think to myself,"It is a waste of time ,money and energy."

     He went back to Huang Gang City just a couple days ago. Now he feels annoyed by the life at home and intended to come back to school. I still remember how he hoped to leave school to spend the vacation at home before he went back. What a changable person! I learn how important it is to adapt ourselves to the environment we choose. To enjoy life wherever you are, find the right and enjoyful things you can do. Be active to arrange for your life and make changes when you feel bad. You won't miss the joy in every place you go to.  As I am following my brother's steps to go back home tomorrow, I am ready to adapt myself to the life at home. East or West, home is the best! Hating home environment just indicates that you haven't adapted yourself from the school life to family life! I am going to make it!

       These days I am thinking how to live a meaningful life. I witnessed  that my friend lost her dad so I realized it was important to value our life.

        Everytime I stay up for a whole night in front of a computer,I feel my biological clock is upside down. The first time I did that I could not accept it untill my friends talked me into it.   Then the second time, the third... I see how big the strength of a habit is!

     Why can't we keep a regular and healthy life? It is partly because we want some excitements. Life is too monotonous for a student who spends a whole day in the dorm room, so he wants to play computer games in the Internet Bar for a whole night. It can be understood but can't be accepted. We can find some more healthiful things to do so we can have a lot of fun while killing time. For example, doing some sports can do good to us both physically and mentally.

     Next time you want to read lying on bed or play computer games late at night, ask yourself: "Does this do good to my health?" If the answer is no,find a healthiful alternative.

  God, please help me. help me manage the course choosing. Do you know how much I devoted to this essential thing? Last night, I didn't sleep and waited for the system to be opened in the early morning.En. I destroyed my health again. How I regreted that!   I would never try again, I sware!

   Then when we were all ready to choose courses, the system was too busy to work. The speed was super slow so that many of us just wanted to jump off the building. I am a very patient person, but I also got annoyed by the system. We had to wait, wait and wait. The boy beside me played computer games to kill time. I prayed for a better speed and walked up and down...

    At last, some students with good fortune succeeded in choosing the courses they prefer at the golden time, but some had their patience warn out and just optted it out. I was between the two kinds of people. I hoped I could but I didn't think it was under my control. Let the system go to hell!

    What bad and worn Internet system! It took ages to enter the server. And it might go wrong accidently. I just didn't know what to do with it. We were all driven crazy. Our money was flowing with the waiting time. Our patience was being worn with the flowing money. Our hearts were being broken into pieces with the worn patience.   God, how could the school provide such poor system and servers to us poor students. Don't they have a little bit mercy on us? I want to accuse them for not serving us well!

    It is over 11:30am  now, which means we have to leave the Internet Bar in half an hour. I have to continue the torture this afternoon. God, you are too cruel to deprive us of sleep and patience in this way! The annual course choosing is our biggest nightmare!

   In fact, I had the chance to do better and more quickly. But because I failed to make good and full preparation for the course choosing, I didn't do it well. What a great pity. Well begone is half done, and good preparation is also half done. I hope I can be smarter next time!

       It was not my first attempt to find a part-time job in the summer vacation. But it was the first time I found how hard it was to find one. I believe I learnt a lot from the tough experience. The following are the disadvantages of summer-vacation job hunters:

       Firstly, the employments are not enough for us. Thousands of students long for tutor jobs while few parents employ them.

        Secondly, students have few accesses to job information. Wall ads are not enough,so they have to hang around door to door to seek chances.  Internet doesn't function well in job hunting.

         Thirdly, students are not capable of occupying practical jobs. They can't meet the employers' need, thus being kicked out in the interviews.

         To solve these problems, I think college students should learn more practical skills and try to get more accesses to information.

        It's the second night in the cyber cafe. I was reluctant to stay up but my roomates talked me to. They made complaints that I didn't keep pace with them. So I came here, with the result of spending hours in the cyber cafe. Now the dawn with cool morning wind comes and breathes life into utterly spent girls. I feel refreshed again. Later I will leave for the dorm room, so just leave some words here before leaving.

     I remember the last experience was in the winter vacation, on the way back home. I, my elder sister, as well as her former boyfriend spent the whole night in the cyber cafe because we couldn't find a vacancy in a hotel.

     Last night, I watched a video recommended by Dean Xiao, and also wrote down my thoughts about it. Later, I might discuss with him. It was titled "范跑跑PK郭跳跳". You can find it in Youku or sina. Very funny one, really.

     Then I watched my favorite TV play "大长今". It is encouraging, though old. I rewatched its happy ending But I doubt whether it can happen so smoothly in reality. Ok, I just appreciate its positive perspective towards difficulties, but I don't really believe the reality goes that way. However, I learnt a lot from it. One is about the phylosophy of gain and loss. Life is a fair game. Whatever you do, you can't only gain sth. or lose sth. Gain and loss come together. In Changjin's case. She gained fame and love from the Loyal Court. She also dedicated to her favorite work about medical treatment. But at the same time, she also lost her mom and intimate teacher. She took a great risk to survive among her foes and rivals. So, we should never have the intention to find sth. that is one-sided.

     Stop here. I will go back and try to cancel my summer-vacation course-drawing. I am not willing to but have to do that. Yesterday afternoon I was told it was useless and suggested cancel it. I really can't comprehend why it is of no value and a waste of both money and time. Since dad pays for the fee, I have to follow his suggestion. Maybe in his opinion, some courses providing pratical techniques are more valuable. Drawing, however, is just three-year-old kids'game. I don't totally agree with it but I don't have choice but cancel the course. What is the alternative?

     

       "God, I pray, give me strength, with which I can conquer everything. With enough strength, no fear,  there is no worry, no anxiety, no disillusion. I will live in a world freely, achieving whatever I want." On the bus back to school, I can't help thinking, lost myself in meditation. I am  foreseeing my future through present situations, through factual existence.

       In the beginning term this year, I made a detailed occupational plan. I meant to organize a bright future, a visible future, an achiever's future. I made analasises of my characters and interests as well as financial conditions. At last, I decided my aim was to be in the battlefield of business when I finished schooling.

     Now, looking at my characters and present achievements, I doubt whether my choice was right and feasible. It seemed to have gone too far from reality. I was once open, extrovert, and aggressive, but now I am apt to be introvert, and even withdrawn.The business battlefield requests competitive and wise soldiers, while I lack of stactics. How can I follow the route if I go against the original idea? How can I survive in a field that doesn't fit me?

   Secondly, I am not confident about myself. Failure in the tutor work neally knocked me out. It was proved that I was weak in finding out laws when dealing with specific things. And I don't have the habit of insight. So I don't feel self-confident as ever. A person without confidence is like a bird with broken swings. How can the bird fly freely as ever when it has broken swings?

    Neverthless, I don't lose the passion to move on. Back to squre one when a wrong decision has been made. Or, just perfect myself to follow the route and perfect the route to suit me. Life is a journey with sweet and bitter. I am not a perfect traveler, but I will be the most hard- working one.

        Last night I talked with my former friend over phone. She told me something about her university Huang Gang Normal University. She was told sth. about the former dean of the college who has come to my university. So she asked me about him. I told her that the former dean is now in my university and serves as the deputy dean of Foreign Language College. She told me her teacher remmebered his plan in an effort to build a Foreign Language Village in Huang Gang Normal University. Now in my university the Foreign Language Village came into shape and has been serving many English lovers.

     I was so surprised to hear that deputy dean is still remembered and honoured by the people in the places he once stayed. At that moment, I recognized what the reward of hard work. It's honour. Yes, people are passerbys in many places and the track we leave might be memorable,or the other way round, blank. It's great honour to be memorized by people we met. It indicates that we have done something significant and valuable for others.

    Premier Zhou is memorized for his vertues and great contributions. Chairman Mao is memorized for his brilliant leadership. What are you going to be honoured for?

     Father's Day, the third Sunday of June, is just around the corner. We are looking forward to its

coming because it's of great significance for us.Father is not a thankless position in a family, so a simple call with regards makes a difference.

    The other day, my study group discussed on holidays. I was of the opinion that we Chinese should have a holiday like the Westner's Thanksgiving Day. You may say Mother's Day and Father's count, but they are global holidays, not our national ones.Don't you think so?

    Here is why:

    There is so much to thank:

  The earthquake has presented so many moving social groups: teachers who sacrificed themselves to save students. Armymen who went all out to do the earthquake relief work. And the volunteers as well as ordinary people who donated both money and blood...Why don't we establish a Thanksgiving Day in memory of their great deeds?

   To give thanks can contribute to public morality. Many people are lack of gratefulness. A formal holiday can help them appreciate life and people around, thus sparking their sense of happiness. Mother's Day reminds us of the greatness of a mother, and Father's Day reminds us of that of a father. A national Thanksgiving Day will make a real difference.

    Word has it that Father's Day was established following a girl's proposal in honor of all the fathers including hers. Here, I advise we should have our own national Thanksgiving Day in honour of all the great people in this nation.

   

        This morning,I finished the tutur work and asked to get all the payment. I also told the student's mom that I was afraid I couldn't come over the next weekend because I was going to take final exams,so I asked to get the money this time. The student I teach is going to take the entrance exam to Senior High School the week following the next week. So next week might be the last time I teach her. Her mom seemed very unhappy when I told her I might skip the last time. She also made a conclusion of my tutor work in the past one month and a half, which astonished and hurt me deeply.

     She told me that I failed to activate her daughter's interest in English. I failed to devote time to teach and communicate with her daughter. She also said many bad words to me. For example,"You are criming by skipping the work at the crucial time." "At least you should have the sense of responsibility to help her." "A month ago, I wanted to switch to another person because you had asked for leave for so many times."so on and so forth. It sounded as if I commited crime and was indifferent to her daughter as her teacher.

    I felt as if I was nothing but a person with many faults when she blamed me so hard. My dignity was under her foot at that time.However, I didn't shed tears because she didn't worth my tears.

    She never remembers what happenned just the day before. It rained cats and dogs, but I still insisted on taking bus and walking for minutes to teach her daughter. She never invited me to stay for a little while or just for a cup of tea after the work.And everytime after it was finished, she just stayed there checking what I had taught.

    I never acoknowledge that I did sth. wrong. Yes, I am not a perfect tutor, but not awful. She is just an awfully strict mother I meet. So I just want to shrug away.

   Everyone can try to do the work well when he is on different stages and plays different roles. However, the world doesn't recognize you as a contributor,or just ignore you. We can't ask to be accepted all the time and under every condition. But we can keep our dignity as a hard-working individual.

   It is commonly believed that when others blame us for our faults, we should reflect and correct our mistakes, but I want to claim that we can just be ourselves whatever opinions others have toward us. We are just ourselves. We are unique. Why do we have to change with others and even become the slaves of others' willingness.

    Be yourself! I believe I live up to myself. That's enough.

       This morning I listenned to "born to win" of Xin Dong fang. A man born to win is not just caring about his own affairs but caring about the whole world. He also not only holding with vertues but also acting under virtues. I believe so. We should follow what we believe and take actions not just stay in the level of speaking again and again.

       These days, I have many thoughts, the night dream indicates that I am not calm, peaceful inside. I know what my subconsciousness and needed stuff from it. However, there is a long way to go before I can live and think freely, before I can act with a real self, before I stop hinding behind the mask.

        I feel worried about mom constantly, and sometimes have some bad thoughts. Maybe that's due to the lack of security. What I heared in the morning also told me a winner doesn't achieve his security through making others lose. I don't agree to it. It's just nonsense against reality. But I am always confused what is the source of my strong sense of security. The counsultant in the school psychologist's once told me the children from incomplete families can get security from abundant love given by people. I am not so blessed to have love in abundance. Maybe the problem is not so important and worth to be paid so much attention to.

        The exams are just around the corner. God bless! And hope I can pass the computer exam as a lucky dog.

        The rorch relay was in YiChang on Children's Day. Many school fellows went to witnessed the holy moment. Missing the once-in-a-lifetime chance was no big deal when hearing many were worn out because of the sleepless night in the city squre. It's in JingZhou today, and will be welcome as it was in YiChang, the city where my university is located.

                        Advantages and disadvantages of Information Age

Not for once that I find the convenience of Information Age. When I open the mailbox or my blog, I can link whatever section I want, others’ blogs, sections where I can find abundant information. Take QQ mailbox for example, I find it has renewed the functions. We can not only send and receive mails, keep journals, but also read friends’ blogs and celebrities’ blogs. We can also search needed information in blogs of different types. With the Internet, we really have a quick access to what we need.

     I bet not a single one doesn’t feel this way. On the surface, we have got so much; however, giving a deep thinking, we can find we still lack much. Nowadays, communications develop fast while the communication of people face to face and heart to heart is in shot supply. On one hand, we are becoming more and more global thus making more and more friends through the Internet. Phone friends, pal friends, email friends, and so on. On the other hand, however, the intimate friends are rare. We can talk on our common interest, on current affairs, national and international affairs, while we cannot demonstrate out inner world, our loneliness, confusion, privacy. We have to turn to ourselves and God when it comes to personal problems. What’s worse, the more you communicate with others through computer, the less your communicative skills and desire in reality grow. So how to balance the two is a big challenge for most people who are addicted to computer.

     Anyway, Information Age is fantastic in a wide degree. We can make the best of it.

       I don't believe fortunes,but I believe our good conscience can be self rewarded, or in other words, can be reward itself. If you say no to it, please follow my own experience.

     The other day I lost my bracelet. It was bad news for me. Then I came to the places I had stayed to look for it, but efforts were in vain. Unexpectedly, when I looked for my bracelet I happened to find a USB someone lost. In the very beginning, I thought God used it to make up my loss. But I knew I should find out the loser and give it back.

    Later, I openned the USB, trying to find some personal information about the loser. Unexpectedly again, I found many documents about the computer lessons. You know, I didn't do a very good job in those lessons, so the documents are what I need desparately. I downloaded all the useful material. Virtue sent its best reward to me.

   I also found the loser's name and class.With the information, I can give it back to her. What an unexpected and interesting experience! I believe firmly that as long as you keep your good conscience, you will be rewarded.

   I came across this movie and love it very much. The lazy, fat but lovely cat catches my heart. Like human beings, He has merits and demerits. He is greedy for food, rude to new comers,and selfish, but he can feel Oudi, the dog's concern and come to the dog's rescue when it is in danger. What a lovely cat!

   The movie also warns us inhuman deeds out of benefits can result in self destruction. Only with right ways and hard work, can we get what we want.

    In addition, the cats and dogs as well as other animals are so cute in the movie. They are really talented actors

       The other day in the Foreign Language Village in my school I met a girl who specialized in art and literature. Talking about writing articles, she told me she was keen on writing diaries. I was a little surprised coz I thought only those who were sensitive kept diaries,and keeping diaries was what we did when young. Now, I begin to realize writing and speaking are two ways to release our emotions. If we keep everything to ourselves, we might feel unconfortable. So speak out your feelings or let them flow with your pen. They really do good to our psychological health.I no longer refuse to write down my true feelings coz writing really works especially when I feel bad.

    Well, I get confused after reading articles in several blogs. Firstly I went to the blog of Daniel. He spoke beautiful and accurate English. However I could not read his latest article "be my guest".I think it was because the sentences were too brief. I hope I can get used to his style. That is my problem, not his. Then I went to the blog of a girl. She shared many personal feelings with us. However, the more I read, the more Chinglish I found in her articles. I was a little afraid that I could only learn Chinglish since I only had access to Chinglish in blogs. After that I went to scoundre1972's blog. He had written a lot, which I admired very much. Last time, I left a reply there. When I saw the message again, I found several silly mistakes in my writing. I felt ashamed of that. Then I realized I was wrong. Here, we are the same so I should not look down upon others'writing, even if they wrote Chinglish. I am among them. I am of no exception. It's difficult for us to get rid of Chinglish.  We have to pay special attention to it and resolve it gradually.

 

Everyday at night before going to bed, I read a pericope of the Analects of Confucius.Everytime I read it, I regain the peace of my soul.the other day, I read the pericope of savoir-vivre,and shared it with friends here.I was so happy a friend said he learnt a lot from me. Reading the Analects of Confucius can make people of modern times wiser.Today I am gonna share some knowledge gained again.

   In mordern times many people feel they are unhappy,sometimes for no reasons, sometimes for many reasons.No matter what the reasons exactly are, we should know one of the reasons is that we are troubled by interests.Sometimes interests appear in a way of fame and gain.Sometimes they appear only in a way of the others' approval and praises and the the increase in your wealth. Confucius teaches us not to be so eager about interets. He looks down upon those eager interest pursuants. He believes persuing morality and justice.  Only with this self-cultivation, can a person make sacrifice to his country.

   Recently, many Chinese state they love their motherland,and can sacrifice to protect their motherland. In fact, in their real life, they spend most of their time on persuing the small benefits of their own. Concerning the national affairs and others' interests, they just show indifference.

   Though what Confucius teaches were mostly applied in his time, we can regain the power of soul to save the lost great morality and justice of a person in mordern times.

                                

      Somewhere, sometime it is gone quietly.I even cannot grab the tail of happiness. It disappears in front of me. I keep quiet,all the time, not wanting to talk with anybody on anything. I just wander,wander,in a place where I cannot find the way home. Don't know why,don't want to reason why, the most familiar ones become strange, the most happy time becomes burden, the most valuable things become nothing. I talk, but on nonsense. I struggle to cheer up, but in vain. The idea of suicide enters my head, but I know I have to go on, go on living, creating and wishing one day, happiness comes back again. Why? I have to be back to my bad mood again and again? Why? I cannot slow down when I am reluctant to go on, why? the people betwwen me cannot give me courage. Why? Their behavīors influnce me badly. I don't know. Once more, I sit here, in front of the computer, asking questions...

     I shed tears but unhappiness keeps welling up. My heart is like a dark night, no light, no stars, as if I sink down in heaven. Life becomes valuableless, all the things attached to life become valuableless. I know I am suffering...Not from others, but from my soul, the dark spot of my soul. I can never,never weep it out,untill the day I die.I want to live on, but I don't know how to conquer unhappiness; I want to smile often, but I don't know how to make my soul clear and cheeful as ever;I want to make achievements, but I don't know how long and how far I can go. The uncertain and unknown part of my future occupies my mind and keeps me off happiness. I am here, begging, and wishing a little bit sunshine. But outside, it is dark night. Night comes.