JUN.18.08       

Before  i graduated ,i never knew i will do this job in future .because ,it's a job has nothing with my major .but one thing to my grateful is that i need use english to do my work ,which is just my favorite.
So ,i think ,i  must  try my best to do my job better .so every day ,the moment i went into the office ,my hands never stopped .

But depend upon it ,not everyone would  think like that , i  found if our boss was not in office ,some one will do what they want to ,likes of  talking loudly about their children ,buying clothes on the net ,eating ,smoking , watching films in line and so on .

As for me ,i 'm afraid i will never do that in work time ,yes ,i am just a girl ,straight forward ,unaffected . if things can go ,never delay.but i think just  the temper make sb unhappy .maybe society don't welcome people like me .they need leave time to their own business .so i was confused ,i don't know how to go on working ,because i know if i want to make work better ,good cooperation is necessary,but if things go on like this ,how can i achieve?

Luckly , i heard that some one in our dept. will be changed  , though ,maybe to him ,it 's really a bad news ,but recalling his past work performance, i think ,he should pay it for that .maybe you will say i am so cruel a girl ,but  if you stand before me ,you will find i am so virtuous,nearly approach to silly.

Sometimes ,god will bless "silly "people ,give them more happiness than other"clever" .do you believe ? i do ,anyway.

Recently , i always felt i was so tired in my job ,from 8:30am to 4pm ,i just looked like a machine without stopping ,many many work were waiting for me to handle ,one by one ,one by one ,my head neally blew up ,but i could say nothing in the company ,because no one will  really care about u ,.when i saw my bf yesterday evening ,i cried ,may be ,this is the best ways to abreact .i remember that when i didn't have a job before ,i was so eager to have one ,even didn't mind how tired it would be .but when i have , in the contrary , i don't cherich it any more .

With my bf ,i ever and even now ,sometimes ,have the same sentiment ,i always feel that he treats me not so well.but yesterday evening ,the small thing he did ,really making me feel good .when we were having our dinner in the happy  shopping ,one beggar caught our sight ,we found that when people who left after finishing their dinner ,he picked up their  chopsticks  to begin his own dinner ,my bf felt so sad ,althrough he never gave sth to other beggars who directly came up to his face ,he advised me to gave some money to that beggar ,and then gave some chicken again .of course ,that beggar gave much tks to us .but ,i can't understand why he always let me to do such thing .so i asked ,guess what he said "goodness things leave you to do"of course , that is not to say ,i am not a virtuous girl ,i think just that he wants god gives me more bless .

So ,i think ,nothing will be so perfect , no matter job or emotion ,when ,sometimes ,we feel bad ,if possible ,don't think about it ,insist doing it for some time ,and then ,you will find no question can't solve ,there are many many lucky things waiting for u tomorrow.because tomorrow is another day ,laugh or cry , it 's up to u.

May.14 .08 ,a little rain .

I clearly remember that i said if he didn't reply to my text message ,i wouldn't never contact him .yes ,i still remember what i said ,but today,i drop a brick to myself .i send a message to him again ,because ,earthquake was happened in Zhengzhou ,i guess he might be there,i am still worry about him in my deep heart .but i no longer wish he can reply to me ,i don't care at all ,because ,i just want him to know ,somewhere ,one person miss him ,still.

Recently ,really ,i believe fate more than before ,yes ,who will love u ,who will be together with u ,God will decide ,really ,i don't know why,i can't understand,either .sometimes ,i still miss yesterday,miss the days i stayed with him,but as time goes by ,i know ,we are just that ,no one can help us .yes ,sometimes ,you really can't control yr life ,no matter what you seek for..............


I guess i must love him more ,or else why i aways miss him ,but,he never.
But i never know what i should to do ,yet.

May.10 ,saturday,yes ,just before Mother's day,i rcvd a text message from my college classmate.first ,just like others ,he just asked me how i was doing recently ,of course ,i was happy for that ,because ,no matter what ,there are sb who remember me.
but ,after that ,step by step ,he said to me that he liked me since we were both in university,when i heard of that i was very surprised ,because ,in the past four years ,he never had a talk with me ,u can think ,how amazing it is .of course ,i refused politely, but ,guess what he said later,he said he would like to be my  valentine,valentine? i doubt whether what he said was true or not , it's really a big bomb to me ,which let me recall what he on earth looked like .yes ,it's that you can't find him in a crowd .the only thing on him i can remember now is that ,at that time ,almost all girls in my dorm considered him to be uncomely,because we heard of that he liked to see erotic films.hehe......,althrough that ,before us ,he never acted sth to exceed what is proper , but now ,you see ,he actually said that ,i really can't believe ,so horrible you can think .no doubt ,i said no ,yes ,no possible at all .


Which let me think about the tideway in now days ,valentine ,yes ,it's a vogue word among people ,no matter young or adult ,maybe ,i think ,people are so lonely ,so blank now ,they want to find sth fresh ,exciting .no wonder ,recent years ,divorcees are so many .but ,i think ,people should pay more attention to the person who company with you long years ,no matter how bad she is ,one fact can't ingore is that she loves you more than others ,such as yr wife .


SO ,lovely people,don't be so selfish,don't try to hurt the person loving you for yr own benefit ,and also don't be so blackhearted to hurt others  ,because ,at last ,you will find the person you hurt is just yrself .


I guess ,god has her eyes .wish god bless all of us ,having a happy life ~

Two days ago,when i was surfing,my BF advised me to watch TV ,which was about foreign education in baby  .just like he said ,it was really very interesting .when baby is at the age of learning to crawl ,even walk , they are not let baby crawl optionally,but educate them to crawl or walk bravely , when kids arrive in the destination ,they will give them some awards ,if not ,they slipped up ,they will say :honey ,come on ,you can do it .giving more encouragement ,however,not to help them .


Of course ,they are not as hard as the nether millstone ,on the contrary,they want to let their kids grow up better ,in the process of education ,they want their babies to know road is not always smooth in their life , there will be sth unexpectly happened ,suddenly.it is normal to dread ,and they need know this .

However ,in china ,parents won't give their children such education ,they try to let their babies avoid dangerous things ,and usually ,they just tell kids it is wrong to do sth ,not let children  come through physically ,so ,babies won't know why it is wrong ,how is right .suddently ,i think of Mrs ,Jiang Qingqing ,who is superstar in china .one day ,she said that she allowed her honey to go or out kitchen freely ,if her baby wanted to play sth dangerour ,such as pot with hot water ,she will not only tell her that will hurt his small finger ,but also guide his finger to touch it slightly,when the baby feels hot ,next time ,he will not touch it again,at the same time ,he knows what is called danger,how it is dangerous.i think that's very good .


Of course ,i am not meant to criticize chinese education  ,but that ,i think ,in some  aspect ,we  really need  to learn from foreigner ,we need absorb their advantages to improve ourselves ,and educate one person since he is still a small baby ,only this.

It 's a long time i haven't been here ,not because there are not sth happened in my life ,just due to my busy working ,i have no time to write them ,of course ,u know ,i can only find this as my pretext .


About six months past ,since i began my working life .just like others ,it 's so fresh,even so excited , when i first owned my desk ,with all office suppies on .of course ,i try my best to treat other colleagues warmly ,politely,and unambitiously, yes ,just like a small student treating her respectable teacher .


But guess what i got from this ,not the same way i treated them ,instead ,they were further intensified,i don't know why ,what i have done ,just for the behalf of our company ,but why should they treat me like that ,many times ,i want to give vent to them ,but i can't ,i'm afraid ,this will let thing worse than before ,but ,really ,i was so angry with them,tears came out of my eyes.i recall this was the second i burst into tears ,i just think that i was so incapable ,even so recreant ,but really ,i was helpless in this company ,no one can help me ,even i can't find sb to complaint .maybe ,this is called "society".


I think ,in the society ,what i can do is to adapt it,and then go to self-examine.no matter what they do ,just do myself better .yes ,just like one folk says :if u haven't the ability to change others ,just change yrself instead .maybe ,because everybody ,no ,(of course there are some heroes in the world )most of people in the society just pursue their own benefit .

Don't say friend,good man ,good girl easily ,
Don't hobnob with others readily


Yes ,keep some distance with the person u deal with ,no matter how kind they r u think ,because u don't know what in fact they think about u in their deep heart ,yes ,that brings to my mind  what chairman Hu said yesterday in the evening news:not only know what they said ,but look into what they do .

Everything has its rules ,if we don't comply ,just to stand .

That's true life ,that's also what life tells  me .

Thanks life ,life will let me more perfect ,i believe !






 

Love him ,and love his dog.yes ,because my BF like to watch NBA,so ,me too.

But i have my own opinion about NBA ,not all team i like, i just like rocket ,maybe you say it's because YAO is there ,but in fact i like Mcgrady and Battier a little more ,i can't say why ,maybe no reason,like a person need reasons?

recently,rocket really has a big victory,21 times ,through 21 is not a big number,but to rocket it's really big ,really valuable,and really unforgetable.just like Battier said :when they were old ,they will be very proud of the victory they try their best to get.and also like Alston said their name will be recorded in the history just as other NBA star.

Through today they was failure,i think they still have some need we to learn.yes ,their courage .i think all of us should have the courage and when we fail some time we should look forward to tomorrow,and come on just as usual.because just as Mcgrady said ,every good thing will be end some day.we needn't cry for the failure ,because we have tomorrow to win.

Really,i love the date of today before,but ,now i don't,all because everything is changing as the time goes by.i have no way to change others,but i can let myself changed,to live a new life.

pull over----that's cool ---here or to go ---

what's up /what's new /how are you doing -----nothing new /nothing much-----

drop me a line /call me

it's a long story ---she is a real drag--have a crush on sb----wishful thinking----daydreaming-----don't take it for granted----- a poor chance----by all means -----get yourself together---go for it -----

do you have the time?-----give me a break------i am racking my brains----don't get on my nerve-----i am so fed up-----knock it out -------don't give me a hard time-----don't put on airs------what a big hassle----don't be so fussy----keep trying-----you bet ,of course---------------

keep a good mood every day!!!

 

after almost three month's untouch,i send a message to you today,not because i can't help contacting you this time ,but because i want to know hou are you going these days,i want to know whether you can pass through the graduate student exam .of couse may be this is the last time you do this .i wish you can pass it successfully,because i wish you can have a better life ,althrough without me company you.

  ever we lived in the same school ,same city ,ever i told you that i treated you as my close relatives ,althrough you didn't think so (you just think you parents are your close relatives),ever you would like to do everything for me,you would like buy beautiful clothes to me ,and gave me all the good things you have (including time),of course ,i showed myself truely before you(whatever laughing and crying ) ,ever ,even until the last time i call you ,i felt happy for the time i stayed two years with you in university.

  but all the above is over after i know you are not what i think so ,because i wish the person who gets along with me should feel happy ,and if not i will feel that i waste my time ,even waste my emotion,that's so horrible thing to me.but you just the person who felt unhappy ,so ,i decided to lose touch with you ,althrough i love you ,althrough you know how much i love you.for those days ,we didn't keep touch with each other, my sky was ashy ,i haven't mood to do anything ,just miss you day and night,many,many times i wanted to call you ,but i was afraid to hear the sad words you said to me ,time and time again i gave up the idea to contact you,maybe only those who have the same encounter can understand my mood those days.

  luckily,all those fuck days pass by,and now  i know we are two person ,you are not the person you once are ,and i am not the person i am,we start to become different since the moment we apart,maybe this is god's intention.long time ago you said we could do good friends ,however,i didn't think so ,i wouldn't like to be so,because we ever fell in love with each other ,we can't be good friends ,but still i wish you happy every day ,because you are the person i ever love,that's the only reason,you know.

 

 

after i read monical's article ,i want to write sth for my 13 to 24,too.when i was my 13,i was still in my hometown,my family don't have enough money ,so we don't have delicious food to eat ,don't have beautiful clothes to wear.but at that time ,i live a happy life ,i have many friends around ,have all my close relatives together.although there are many interesting things outside ,we just enjoy ourselves happy life in our small world.when i was in my 20 ,i went to university ,there ,i spend four years to study my major,spend four years to get along well with my other seven lovely dormates ,and there ,i fell in love with a guy , recall that four years ,i feel that i have lots of things to record ,but now ,i don't know what i should say.now i am 24,i graduated from university in july ,2007,and until now i get my first job ,i find sth changed ,which is not toward to my wish.in a strange city ,i don't have friends around ,don't have parents aside, and the person i ever love ,now haven't any touch with him,of course ,it is not my reason,just all things are changing including time and people's heart ,sometimes i miss him very much,but when i think about the word he said to me ,i feel how much i hate him,even that i regret the time i stay together with him.but i belive all will pass by.what i should do now is to live a better life ,forget the bad thing and remember the good,everday to be a happy girl ,and someday to be a beautiful bride,and in the further future to be a charming mother,and love my parents always.this is i wish,this is my 23.maybe next ten years when i recall my 23 ,i will smile ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 i want to see today is my day ,because,i open my english blog successfully.

this is the first time i am here,i feel very happy for this ,because on one hand ,from now on i have my space to record my everday life,on the other hand ,i can improve my english .and what's more,maybe i can make many frends by this. in all,endlish blog give me much anticipation.i look forward to a new life in the blog.