• 空间首页
• 空间管理
• 中国英语博客基地(English Blogs-英语麦当劳博客空间)
• 站点论坛
• 添加我的日志

我的最新日志

• The Face

  2008-2-18

  每次从奶奶家回来，都会阴郁一番。

  记得初九的时候给爷爷过生日，奶奶家老老少少16个人浩浩荡荡的在一家挺高级的酒店里聚了餐。从11点多去一直到三点多回来，整个人像快崩溃了一样。什么都感觉不到了，只觉得当时间要用来熬的时候，真是分秒都是折磨。

  看了看一本叫做The Lover的英文小说，三行五行便能见到再熟悉不过的词汇，face。不知是一次，当读到每本书或文章前几个字时，即使不了解作者的故事，那种共鸣的感觉，总是让我忍不住鼻子发酸，就像那次的那本《我把爸妈弄丢了》。我不知道别人读来是什么样的感受，只是翻开第一页的时候，我已经不再是自己了。书中到处都是自己的影子，自己的感觉像乘着风翻飞在眼前的花片草叶，一点一滴，突破了内心倔强的防线。我害怕面对真实的感觉，就像我一直在人前表现的固执与不愿认输。朋友曾经说过，如果我不那么在乎面子，将什么都说出来，或许会更好。

  “At the age of fifteen I had the face of pleasure, and yet I had no knowledge of plesure.”-----The Lover

  So what sort of face I put in front of those people at that time? I don't have the exact impression as they do. From their point of view, I am so great and so kind as a child that can understand everything in the adults' world. Everying that may hurt me and everying I must take it for granted. If left misunderstanded, then pretend to be will do good to everyone, expecially for me. But who knows? God knows. God can do nothing even though I keep praying   to him everyday. However, that's a kind of comfort, I know , I can comfort myself.

  Through the whole time at the dinner party I had the face of pleasure, and yet I had no knowledge of the sort of peasure which they teach me to be.

  查看(5) 评论(0)

• Thoses days

  2008-2-18

   

  I still can't foget those days when I concetrated myself on the speech competition. I was filled with energy all the time and eager to speak English with anyone anywhere. I had never wondered that how the hope could make a person come to a new life. But, at least, holding the hope of the competition make me feel like that I was a real student ,at that time.

  The point that I was not a real student is not what I recogize now. So what a real college student is? I can't explain it even though I have been that for about one and a half years. The only impression was boring and boring. I feeled like doing and eating nothing. I feel like sleeping in the daytime while was insomnious at night. All in my head was not how I could adapt the new environment and how to plan my future but my family, which was a cut in my heart.

  I remembered that my stepfather ever told me that as for mom, my entering the college was her last hope. But if I couldn't get the access, I was still her baby. Every time I think about it , I can't help tearing. I am not used to cry it out. Do it quietly is my way. Then, I got to enter the college successfully but what happened? Things were still awful. Then the competition came and lit up my life. I was not so smart as other girls who can remember the words and expressions quickly and exactly. I was also not that sort of person who had the gift of learning English and use it as native language. What I have was only the hope and holding it untill the bright future came to me.

  In fact, mom didn't care about it at all. She just wanted me to be good, safe and sound expecially when I was far off my hometown. So when I called her to let her know I failed, she just said ,"Never mind, my sweet. I know your efforts." Actually, I was not failed but didn't have the right to attend the competition because I was not the top students in my grade.

  Something was beating me. I know the feeling. It's a kind of unfair and disgrace. I told it to my uncle and cousin and got back enough comfort. Then let it go, I was sill myself.

  Now, I am the top student in my class and in my grade. They all very surprised at the result and they all couldn't believe that it should happen on a ordinary girl who they never mind at all. But I know my ordinary efforts and how it lead to my success. The only pity is that I don't know when the sort of competition come again. I wait and wait, full of hope and energy. Holding it even though it is really nothing to someone but really a signality to me.

  查看(4) 评论(0)