Thoses days

 

I still can't foget those days when I concetrated myself on the speech competition. I was filled with energy all the time and eager to speak English with anyone anywhere. I had never wondered that how the hope could make a person come to a new life. But, at least, holding the hope of the competition make me feel like that I was a real student ,at that time.

The point that I was not a real student is not what I recogize now. So what a real college student is? I can't explain it even though I have been that for about one and a half years. The only impression was boring and boring. I feeled like doing and eating nothing. I feel like sleeping in the daytime while was insomnious at night. All in my head was not how I could adapt the new environment and how to plan my future but my family, which was a cut in my heart.

I remembered that my stepfather ever told me that as for mom, my entering the college was her last hope. But if I couldn't get the access, I was still her baby. Every time I think about it , I can't help tearing. I am not used to cry it out. Do it quietly is my way. Then, I got to enter the college successfully but what happened? Things were still awful. Then the competition came and lit up my life. I was not so smart as other girls who can remember the words and expressions quickly and exactly. I was also not that sort of person who had the gift of learning English and use it as native language. What I have was only the hope and holding it untill the bright future came to me.

In fact, mom didn't care about it at all. She just wanted me to be good, safe and sound expecially when I was far off my hometown. So when I called her to let her know I failed, she just said ,"Never mind, my sweet. I know your efforts." Actually, I was not failed but didn't have the right to attend the competition because I was not the top students in my grade.

Something was beating me. I know the feeling. It's a kind of unfair and disgrace. I told it to my uncle and cousin and got back enough comfort. Then let it go, I was sill myself.

Now, I am the top student in my class and in my grade. They all very surprised at the result and they all couldn't believe that it should happen on a ordinary girl who they never mind at all. But I know my ordinary efforts and how it lead to my success. The only pity is that I don't know when the sort of competition come again. I wait and wait, full of hope and energy. Holding it even though it is really nothing to someone but really a signality to me.