Nice to come here to exchange views on everything in English. Wish to make friends with you all. Wish you a happy and properous life.
This is the other English blog of mine. Welcome to have a visit:http://scoundrel1972.blog.sohu.com/
我的最新日志
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2009-7-01
I am not someone of strong will.
I can still remember the days when I was preparing for the undergraduate entrance exam. I felt that I was on the brink of breakdown, mentally. I have not failed because I had not made enough efforts, but my mental state.
I could't have got good marks in the quarter-final English contest. I have been too nervous before so many judges, from china or foreign countries alike. What is worse, there was a camera directly in front of me when i was making the imprompto speech and answering the questions. I was not full prepared for a performance, if it was a performance, in front of a camera.
However, i don't care much about the results of the contest. I am satisfied with myself. So many teachers from colleges, some of them are young, some of them are rich, didn't do much better than me.
I felt greatly releved of a burden and sense of utter exhaustion struck me. I got back home and was not willing to do anything, just hoping to relax.
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2009-6-26
Michael Jackson, the king of pop as he was called, passed away of heart disease.
A genius of music, he showed his talent for music even when he was a little kid. His life was nothing but a success. He was the harbinger of MTV, which is as popular as can be today. His song “thriller” has been widely acknowledged as the best seller in the world. In his life he amassed astronomical and phenomenal wealth, as well as renown and reputation.
Although a lot of controversies had been arouse around him and he had so strongly denied any allegations of child molestation or abuse, his reputation had been tarnished a little bit by the rumors or facts we are still not aware of. Despite all this, he had been still wildly acclaimed as one of the greatest musicians and pop singer in the world.
Just like Obama, he was also one of the decedents of those African immigrants. His dream had come true since he had made him name known all over the world. He married twice in his life. After death, he left two kids behind him. He changed his face color, which aroused a lot of opposition and dispute.
Some of his songs are my favorite, especially “heal the world”. From this song I know him to be not only a simply common popular singer, but also a great humane musician.
Now I can still listen to the song attentively and enjoy the appeals on behalf of the common people, but the one who sang is has passed away.
“Heal the world. Make it a better place, for you and for me and the next generation.”
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2009-6-26
I was cooking and suddenly I thought of something unfavorable with me which happpened sometime in the past. I cursed unconsciously. My wife heard this and came to told me not to curse like that. I told her that she was not the target of my curse. She confessed that she knew I had not referred to her. She has seen quite a few occasion when I behave like that.
I told her that it was the symptom of mental disorder, half jokingly and half earnestly. I felt painful in my heart that one day I may sink into mental disturbance.
It was not the first time for me to behave like that. Sometimes when I am alone and think of something unagreeable with me, I will curse. More often than not, after doing that unconsciously, I steal a look around and see if anyone is mindful of me. I only feel relieved after knowing that there is no one around. It must be a psychological problem, since I don't want to it, however sometimes I can't keep control.
There has always been an invidious idea within my mind that one day or another, It may go deranged, as it is the legacy I may inherit from my mother's father and herself. What is more, my sister, the only direct relation left in the world, has shown symptoms of a mental disorder.
It is a heavy burden on my mind. I don't know, and have no courage to ask others if they have the same problems. I only wish I would live mentally healthily, especially when I catch sight of my son. I wish he wouldn't suffer from the same destiny as mine.
I decide to relingquish some of the goals I set for myself. Living a normal life is all what I wish for. However, I have set such goals to make my life worthwhile to live. I just can't bear a life style that I do nothing but idle away the time.
Now I am sweated all over. Beads of sweat on my nose must radiate light in different directions. What a life I can lead? I don't know.
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2009-6-24
As it usually happens at this time of the year, we are supposed to sort out those so-called prominent teachers as a reward. I am not one of the candidates according the results of the examinations, so I feel rest-assured and can keep a detached mannter.
The date set for the English speech contest is approaching, yet I haven't prepared very well for it. I have been busy with myself helping students with the revision of what they have learned in preparation for the final exam this term.
Although widely acknowledged as the most backward method and fruitless to test a student's abilities, the method still persists in china. I wish it can be cancelled since it has put so much pressure on both the teachers and the students. However, it is so clear in my mind that there is no other measures that are more fair and square than this one, especially for the people who belongs to the lowest ladder in the society.
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2009-6-23
I came to know the meaning of the phrase "to get into one's own trap" finally this afternoon.
As one of the so-called "to-be-master hands in teaching", I have been supposed to undertake so many tasks this summer vacation. Some of them may be necessary in the leaders' eyes, they are not of purpose in my own eyes. The title, has become a bait, luring me far away from my set destination. I am not interested in this. However as a member of the track, I have been expected to fulful all the obligations.
My wife had plans for the summer holiday. I think most of her plans can't be carried out. This is the good side of the thing, since obviously it can save a lot of money for me. My wife's plan is gigantic and costly. She insisted on travelling to Beijing and Qinhuangdao with a temperary in Tianjin, for a visit to her former classmate.
On Monday next week I am going to attend to the speech contest. I have no confidence in it. In contrast to those younsters, there is no advantages for me to take. But I decide to have a try. Whether it be success or failure, it doesn't matter to me. It is said that the end justies the means, yet I have no means to use.
We live in this world. We have to do many things that we are reluctant to do.
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2009-6-06
From my coworkers I got to know the news that the prominent news reporter, Luo Jing, had passed away. It is sad news to me. Life is full of vicissitudes. So many things are unpredictable. He was only 48, still young and at the prime of his career. Yet he passed away.
Widely acknowledged as the a traditional, friendly, hospital, filial man by his coworkers, his departure has plunged all of them into the depth of sorrow and grief. It happens so often that only after his departure that we realize that such and such a man is a man of good will. Why shouldn't we treasure such kind of people around us so that more and more such kind of people may emerge.
Man proposes and god disposes. What we can do it is to submit to fate. "Man can tame the nature", an arrogant and presumsuous dream of some people in the past, has been smashed once and again by the cruel facts of life. The torrents, the earthquakes, the epidemics, etc. happen to us more and more frequently, however we can do nothing about them. What we can do is to take a positive attitudes and persevere. If there is still someone who thinks that he can be the master of nature, he will a superfool.
Man has explored quite a few planets in the universe, and have acquired no knowledge of any aliens from the out space. The universe is nothing but a dark, endless, awe-inspiring vastness. what can we expect from it but submit our fates to it, and worship it thereafter.
We all will die. There is nothing we can do to make a change. Enjoy this life while we are still living and forget all those cares and worries. I wish Luo Jing has a good life in heaven.
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2009-6-05
I have been too much occupied this term. My nephew's imprisonment, my participation in the English Contest, my task assigned by our school to join in two teaching competitions. Now most of the tasks have been finished. I feel a little relieved now.
The result of the English Contest at the prilimary stage are still not exposed. I don't care about it, since the contest is very fierce. Most of the contestants are much younger than me. There is no advantage I can take over them. The results of the teaching competitions have been good so far. I am content with myself, though they are of no avail to me.
From now on I have to focus most of attention on the tough task, to compile part of, or a chapter of the book with the headmaster as the chief editor. It is useless to myself, but the headmaster takes it too seriously. I have to tried my best to do it.
I have been as busy as a bee this term.
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2009-6-05
The College Entrance Examination is to be held at our school this year as usual. I have been coughing severely for about twenty days. This after when I was working in the classroom in preparation for it, I felt that I had a fever. I went to see the doctor and was advised to be treated in the hospital, to have injection. With great reluctance, I asked leave to the vice headmaster, but was politely refused, for the reason that I have to invigilate during the exam. I was very sad. My throat is like on fire and I have a headache. I was reluctant to ask leave because I didn't want to waste the students' time. But now I couldn't bear it any more and I have to persist.
I don't know in what way others will look on us teachers. As a member of them, I know there are a lot of them working like me, so conscientiously that they forget their family and even their own health. Like caged birds, sometimes we also want to have a fresh breath of life. We can't afford to be ill. We can only go to the hospital when we have time to have us treated. And now it will be time for the exam, I don't have time even for injection.
Whatever, there is no other to make a change. I have to invigilate as was assigned.
The results of the English prelimiary contest was disclosed this morning. I was the thirty-eighth of all the contestants. It is impossible for me to enter the finals, however I have the right to enter the quarter-final. Only the first fifty contestants are entitled to enter the quarter-final out of the total members of 556. I am not content with the result. Yet I know that the contest is fierce. Some of them are college teachers, some have only returned from abroad. I am no match for them in terms of oral speech and listening comprehension. I have to make some preparation for the quarter-final, which is set on June29.
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2009-5-30
The sun sent brilliant sunrays down to the earth. I was so amazed to see such a scene. My heart was filled with joy. Beautiful weather can make me leap up. My son was excited too.
I am approaching forty. The weather still holds sway over me. Perhaps I am a man of sentimentality. Age has not made a difference in this respect.
I am going to join the English contest this Sunday. It is a fierce contest. Out of about 530 contestants only ten will be chosen and therefore will have a bright prospect. I have no confidence in me. Those teachers from the University certainly will win easily, since they have more opportunities to practice. As a middle school English teacher I don't have any chances to put the English I have learned to use, therefore I have forgotten a lot of them.
Whatever, I like such a day so much.
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2009-5-13
The contest has been designed by our municipitality to choose those who are perfect in English, with an expectation that they should be present at conferences or parties where foreigners may be present.
Recently there have been various conferences at international level held in our city. In order to be a successful host, the municipal government attaches great importance to English study. By conducting such a competition, the municipal government wish to encourage all the residents in our city to learn English inniatively and of their own accord.
I like English and i have learned it for a long time. However, this time my adversaries are all very good English learners. What is more, all the teachers who are below 40 in the universities, senior middle schools, junior middle schools,etc. are qualified to attend such a competition. Therefore, it will be very fierce. Compared with those who work in the universities, I know I am short of a lot of knowledge in English. It is only a must for there to be a teacher to attend the competition that i feel a little release of the anxiety about it.
Win or lose, doesn't matter a lot to me. I would have been very vainly confident if i was 27-30. However, I am 37 now. I only feel it a pity that I didn't have such opportunities when i was young. At that time, I had to go to Jinan to buy books in English in order for my private study. I had secluded myself from the outside world for several years as an avaricious English learner.
I have confidence in reading comprehension and written work. As for interpretation, I have no assurance of myself.
Whatever, all is passing and all will be bound to pass. I don't mind the result.
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