What is more important?

Today we had a debate at school. The debate was so hot. Robert divided us into two groups and set us a topic: what is more important, oral English or written English?

We did obediently. The debate began. It was unwittingly growing fiercer and fiercer. At last I thought it was like somewhat a mimic warfare. Some of the ladies became aggressive and they just spoke like a machine gun. I failed to catch their meanings.

Our foreign teacher was much pleased with what we did. The debate didn’t stop until the class came to an end.

After school, I began to think seriously into the matter. And I felt that such was only a very simple question. There was simply not a certain answer to it.

With written English we have transmitted and will continue to transmit our culture, express our thoughts in words and leave a record of history. With oral English, however, we can express our feelings directly, make friends with the help of it, and do a lot of other things. Therefore, there is not a definite answer to it. Written English and oral English are equally important.

What is friendship?

Now I am in the school office to guard the school. In order to kill off the night, I moved my computer here for me to surf the internet. However perhaps I have played on it for so long, I am now feeling muddleheaded. I just don't know what to do next. I am still not sleepy.

    Last night I made a lot of efforts to get reconciled with my playmate. We had quarreled after drinking some wine. I will try to record what was happening here.

    We have grown up together since we were little kids. We played together, went to school together and studied together. After graduation from different schools we were assigned different jobs. I cherish the friendship between us.

Once, his nephew wanted to go to my school to study. I helped him a lot. I even spent some money to help. After that, there was an occasion that I was in urgent need to have an article published. I asked for his favor. After some earnest entreaty, he acquiesced. But he asked me to treat his friend for dinner. Though with great reluctance, I agreed. I spent quite some money that for the decent dinner. However, when the article was published and I wanted to have one copy for my use, he asked me to treat him to dinner again after drinking some wine provided by another friend of mine. I became angry. I must have said something unfavorable with him. I left him in a great fury.

He is a petty official in the government of our city. My other friends from the same hometown were in support of him in the quarrel after that. I have to get reconciled with him, since I clearly know that to annoying all my friends is not a favorable thing with me. I called him several times and he just hanged off. I was furious. Nevertheless, somewhat I curbed the fury and dialed again. The line was through and he pretended that nothing had happened. In this way we got reconciled in appearance. My heart sank greatly after that.

What is friendship?

All human relations have been built upon money and power. I have no right to complain. I am only a teacher. No matter how genuinely and sincerely you show your friendship, they won’t think you are someone their equal. I have been too innocent to think that friendship means mutual help and understanding. They have been accustomed to be bought into doing things. Every help provided by them is at the cost of money or something in return. I have been too mindless of worldly affairs that it just serves me right to have such a frustration.

Although to sever the relations with the outside world is not reasonable, I just can’t see any reason for me to keep in touch with such kind of friends. And we are from the same village and we have enjoyed and suffered together ever since we were only little kids.

I am so much depressed about the human relationship. Sometimes I just can’t help doubting the truth of all. Perhaps I have been far left behind in the economic society.

Summary of the first week

Today is Saturday, July 19, 2008. The first week of our training program has come to an end.

During the process of training, some learners complained about the tight schedule of the training. They think it is just too tight to leave them any free time to go home early or have leisure. I think just on the opposite. I want to go to the class earlier and remain there longer, since I cherish the opportunity. For ten years I haven’t been face to face with foreigners to practice English.

During the week, in the morning we had lessons from the foreign teachers in turn. We had four lessons and the final lesson we go to the original class, which is the Massachusetts. In the afternoon from three o’clock on to five o’clock we were given a lecture and then we got into groups and had discussion. After that the reporter would give the report in public. On the evenings of Tuesday and Thursday we could come to the school to see a movie, the synopsis of which would often be given to us the previous day for us to have a rough idea or an outline of the movie for us to have a better understanding of the movie.

I have tried to work hard to learn as much as I could. The schedule next week will be the same most probably.

     The first day of the training program

    This morning we were ushered into different classes according the interview we had yesterday. The four teachers of our school were in the same class. Our class was named after a state in America, Massachusetts. The other two were Iowa and sorry, I forget the third.

    I like listening to foreigners talk, and conversing with them. I like their sense of humor. However these teachers are quite old and not all of them have a good sense of humor I have to say. Anyway, their lessons are helpful. I would like to listen carefully and try to answer their questions. I explained several words and phrases as requested by the teacher and they were quite pleased with it. The words were discipline someone, toad, and separate. Very sadly I found a lot of my fellow learners’ report in English was simply Chinglish. I had no idea as to whether my report was the same.

    English is basically a foreign language. We have to practice, practice and practice. Nevertheless, lack of contextual language environment won’t give any help to our learning. That is just the reason why I treasure this opportunity so much.

    On the morning the teachers introduced themselves to us in their own way. We were numbered off and then divided into different groups. We had a survey. Each member of a group told stories of their role model teachers, their deeds, their words, and anything that made them a role model in our eyes. I was lucky enough to be chosen to the reporter of our group and reported to the whole class the survey we had made. The fellow learners gave their kind and warm applause for me and that gave me a lot of encouragement. I was thankful for them.

    On the afternoon, we sat in the hall to attend a lecture given by the foreign teachers. We were numbered off and put into different groups again, since all the learners were present in the hall, 100 learners in all. We had nine groups. We were led to sing, do all kinds of games, have a discussion, etc. Our group was the best in the game: making sentences. We were invited to stand up and the others clapped their to us for congratulation.

    All the teachers were kind, generous and helpful. I was amazed at their civil manners. They were all highly civilized people and I admired them a lot.

    I am anxiously waiting for the next day to come. I must be crazy about English.

    We arrived at the third primary school as scheduled to attend the opening ceremony for the English Summer Training program.

    A teacher from Shandong Institute of Education taught us some basic knowledge or etiquette about western culture and some noteworthy when dealing with foreigners. As the Olympic Games is approaching, security and stability becomes the first and foremost issue. Our ID number had already been registered. And the teacher from the Institute reiterated the importance of maintaining a formal and polite relationship with the several foreign teachers.

    The rules that we were expected to abide by were:

    1. No one is allowed to leak out any kind of information which may be deemed important to our nation, whether they be political or economical….

    2. We should try to be hospitable and friendly towards all our foreign teachers.

    3. No one should be supposed to ask for any favor from our foreign teachers to enable them to be immigrated to other countries.

    There were also a lot of other relevant rules and I would like just to omit them.

    After that we had a photo taken as a commemoration of the training program.

    I had managed to attend the training program. I had asked favor from my leaders. That was the very reason why I treasured this opportunity. The foreign teachers’ speech at the opening ceremony was just tantalizing to me. Judith, a woman teacher, amazed us by her fluent Chinese. After so long an interval, I got a opportunity to talk with a foreign teacher face to face.

    After the photo was taken, we were arranged to join in an interview held by the foreign teachers. I was the first several trainees to attend the interview. There were several trainees who were quite nervous. I felt a little bit nervous too. During the interview we were after several questions such as:

    1.     Point to the school where you are working at.

    2.     Tell me something about your life or working experience: I have worked for more than fifteen years. I have been transferred to the present school to work for reason that it is a newly-built school and it is better-equipped. So it needs teachers of quite quality and I was lucky to be one of them.

    3.     What did you come here for: I have come here not only to improve my spoken English, but also to learn something about western cultures such as America, Canada, English, New Zealand, Australia etc..

    4.     Tell me something more about you, whatever you want to say, especially something about your students: they are thirteen years old on average. Most of them can go to a higher school for be further educated since our school is quite an advanced one.

    And then the interview was over, we returned home and were expected to go there a little early to see the results of the interview, since according to which we would be divided into different classes of different level.

    All in all, I treasure and cherish this opportunity and I will try my best to improve myself through the teaching of all my foreign teachers.  

    After graduation I have had very few opportunities to be face to face with foreigners and practice English. In 1996 I joined a training program held by the Teaching Bureau of our city, which enabled me to practice a lot. Last year when I went to Jinan to take part in the Psychological training program, I made friends with a black foreigner and talked with him a lot on various issues.

    I think, there should be more chances provided for the English teachers to have access to foreigners. English is basically a foreign language. And it is so changeable. No one knows what kind of words or phrases have been obliterated from the commonly used wordlist and what have been added. What is more, to familiarize the teachers with lively English with foreigners will make them stimulated, which is of vital importance to their teaching.

    I long for such an opportunity. During the summer vacation this year there is a special training program. Some foreigners will be invited to be the trainer. The leaders of our school, however, didn’t choose me to attend such a program. I am let down in a sense.

    I entreated the leaders at our school and those in the Teaching Bureau. It is only now that I have been told that I can attend the training program. It makes me exhilarated.

    I don’t mean to show off my English, though some others think so. I only want to practice. There is still a lot to learn. I am still a long way off a lot of English learners in China and abroad. I am only an English learner and nothing more.

    I wish I could achieve a lot in the training program.

    Some say our world will end in ice. Some say it will end in fire. Emily Dickson failed to give us a definite answer as to what our world would really end in.

   “There is nothing so troublesome in the world. It is only those mediocre people who will trouble themselves.” I must be one of those mediocre people. While others are enjoying life so enjoyably, I only find fault with it and I always want to find some meaning in life.

    I don’t know what the reason is.

    However after reading a story on line, I came to realize that my early life experience, which is a little different from others’, has been the originator.

    My father’s death resulted in two immediate things, my mother became a lunatic and I a solitary drifter in the world. I was nine years old. No one cared for me. More often than not, I sat in the moonlight with my younger sister, looking far deep into the sky and immersing in solitary meditation.

    She, my younger sister, died a tragic death at the age of 20. Still inexperienced in so many things in the world, she sent a spectral phantom to me which haunted my dreams so frequently.

    It is only after my marriage and the birth of my son that I have found some pleasure in life.

    Nevertheless, my mother, who has been a lunatic all her life, kicked her last bucket in a hospital despite a costly operation. During that year that is two years ago, my grandfather, my uncle, both passed away. I was the witness of the scene who they breathed their last breath. I was confounded profoundly. Is this life? To be born, to suffer, to drop into the grave? I have no idea and no one tells me. After cremation they have become nothing but ash. There was nothing like life in it. From the earth they have been born and to thence they have return, as is told in the Bible. I am left despaired.

    What should I do? I must treasure life, for the sake of my wife and my son. However, gathering my rose while I may, that is, to enjoy life as much as I can, must be the only way out.

    Life is life. There is nothing really significant about it. Enjoying it and live it to its fullest sense, seems to me to be the meaning of life.

                           With a vacant stare  

     A sudden shower at noon made my mind so clear and comfortable. I carried my son to school on my bike quickly for fear that I would be drenched with when I got here. It is only too natural a day for me to share with others.

    I read JANE EYRE by Charlotte Bronte this afternoon and I was impressed with her attempt to advertise for a job as a tutor, in order to run away from the choking atmosphere in Lowood. She successfully got the response and was helped by her friends and even Brocklehurst, who was in charge of the institution.

    Sitting in my office and looking out of the windows, I find the sky bright after the sudden shower. Seemingly there is hope beyond the sky. However there is not even a weak flicker of hope for me. A serene composure of mind is all that I want now.

    We came to the world, with some missions to perform. Nevertheless I just don’t know what the missions are. Frequently my ambition to find something to live on is thwarted.

    I am nobody but a failure, so often accused of nurturing a belief in nothingness.

At noon when I was at home and watched TV, a program about a fire moved me so much.

On the evening, a fire broke out in a family. Mr. Zhao, the father, called his wife and daughter to rush to the door to escape. However it was too late for them to run out successfully. Threatened by the fire, they had to retreat to the porch for temporary shelter. The fire was sending fierce flames in every direction, threatening to devour anybody inside the room.

Without anything to resort to for protection, the father held his wife tightly, the mother the daughter, despite the fact that the fire was scorching them at first, and then swiftly burnt them. No one knows for sure in what a miserable situation they were! Finally the firemen came to their rescue. They managed to cut the fences off with a saw and brought them out.

The family was sent to the hospital as quickly as possible. Tragically, the father was diagnosed as mentally wounded, with 90% of his body burnt. Thanks to his protection, his wife was 60% wounded and his daughter only 10%. The report finally came out that the father was dead.

I was moved by the story that the father would lay his life down for his wife and his daughter. Just think, in what a state the father has been when the fire was burning him, while he had a firm belief that it was his divine responsibility to save his family, simply because he was the protector of it.

    A lot of people have become famous overnight because of the catastrophical earthquake, some for their donation of large sums of money to Sichuan; some for their heroic feats in rescuing the victims; and some for their painstaking relief work done for the suffering survivors after the earthquake, however, the guy in the photo above, has become well-known for his swift runaway when the disaster came.

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    I don't know what the reason is. I am feeling that I am becoming decadent.

    I set no goal in my life. What I do every day is to finish my job and then nothing else is done. I am not so old as not to do anything in my life. I know I should do something. I don't know. As a teacher there is nothing significant for me to do. What is the worst, I am tired of the present education system. Even the government officials of Educational department, are only concerned about the possibility for a rise in ranks. Most of the government officials are corrupt. Even a petty official who is in charge of something makes every effort to obtain financial benefits from the society.

    Our new country has a history of only about fifty years. however, as many people know, has been corrupt to the last core. Even though from the latest reports about the earthquake that there are a lot of officials have been making their efforts for the society, espeicically those victims in SiChuan.

    What should i do? Should i waste this life in this way? I don't know.

A terrible catastrophe

An earthquake happened in Sichuan. Plenty of people were killed or injured. The government, especially the Prime Minister of China Wen Jiabao, has been in Wenchuan, with the People’s Liberation Army soldiers to rescue the people still stung in the debris.

Most of my colleagues, including me, show great sympathy for the people who are suffering there, and great respect for the soldiers who have come to the rescue to the people there. Surfing the internet, we will find a lot of information or report about the earthquake instantly. From some of the pictures we know what has happening catastrophically there. A lot of the buildings, especially the schools and hospitals have been leveled to the ground.

Look at the pictures above and we will see what is really happening there. The pictures are what the rescue work was happening in the earthquake. Watching pictures and we all feel depressed.

Here I want to ask, as is asked by a lot of people on line, why buildings at school and hospital have been torn down. why haven’t the government buildings? Schools and hospitals are normally neglected by the government. Many of the buildings are only evidences of scandal and corruption. However, unscrupulous builder and the government officials forget that schools and hospitals are the most populated places, although the people who are living in these places are only neglected or looked down upon by them. Watching what is happening to the primary children here, will they feel a twinge of conscience? Most of the government buildings are safely intact. Needless to say that nothing like harm has been done to the officials who live in the offices.

What is wrong with human relations?

I got back home very late last night. It might be 12 o’clock after the party. What was the worst, I didn’t sleep well. I tossed and turned restlessly in bed until the dawn of the morning. So now I am feeling very tired and sleepy.

What is the reason for us to drink a lot of wine, to impair our health both mentally and physically? People are the most generous and benevolent at a party. They will try to persuade others to drink instead of themselves, though the more we drink, the more they will pay. What an absurd and ridiculous phenomenon it is!

Nowadays human relations largely rest on money. My classmate, the closest and most intimate friend of mine, asked me to have dinner in compensation for his help I asked for. The dinner cost me eight hundred Yuan. What matters is not money itself actually. I am in doubt that friendship should be built on money. I have helped him. But I didn’t ask him to pay for my dinner. I only thought that we were friends, so I had the duty to try my best to help him. It would profane the term of friendship if I asked him to pay for my dinner. Whenever I think of this, I can’t help feeling sad.

Is it true that we are living in a market economy and therefore everything should be evaluated by money? I don’t know. I only feel that something is missing when we have to pay money for a help asked or offered. Perhaps I will be seen as naïve and innocent by others. But this is my opinion on friendship. I have to console myself that there are still others who won’t help you at all even you entreat him.

I have a classmate. He is a red apple in fortune’ eye. He is quite a government official now. We have been very good friends. However, it is only because I was not as obedient and respectful after drinking some wine that he said bad words behind my back, sometimes even to my leaders, which impaired my relation with my leaders. What have become of human relations? I just don’t know and understand.

    As a teacher of fifteen years of experience, I feel that there are so many things to say. However all work no play has made me nobody but a dumb, slow, passive fellow. All the energy, vitality, strength seems to have left me. The same monotonous, dull, unchanged and busy weekly cycle repeats itself. Only occasionally there are surging feelings about my work, or more exactly, education within me, set my hand to the pen. As a result, after a certain period of time I browse my webblog that I find there are certain articles all centering on education. I would like to bring them here as a collection for others’ comments.

        We met a swindler

One of my friend, who has just been demobilized from the army and wished to get a decent job from the regional government, asked me to make some necessary credentials to ensure the success in obtaining the job. I agreed. Another friend advised us to ask favor from those who do counterfeiting after a long time consideration. We knew it was wrong. However in order to get the job, we decided to have a try.

Yesterday we both took to the streets and got some phone numbers from the wall on both sides of the street. We tried several of them. Most of them are not numbers of our region. Finally I got one of our region. We called several times and finally we got through. The boss asked us to wait at a certain place for some time and he would send someone over to fetch the copy which was necessary for the counterfeiting. We waited for a long time and failed to see anyone turned up. So we dropped the plan to meet him.

We tried another one. The boss asked us to send what was necessary via a preservation counter in Yinzuo Supermarked, the earnest money was also included in it. We did accordingly and sent the code to the boss through our cell phone.

This morning the boss called us to say that all what was wanted by us was ready. He asked us to get them in the Post Office. We arrived there duly and mailed the rest of the money to him through the post office. After all that had been finished, we called the boss for the credentials. After confirming that they had got all the money, the boss required for another 1000 Yuan with the excuse that the deliverer might be at danger. The money was the insurance money for his safety. This was sheer and arrant pretext. We knew at that time that we had been swindled.

Without any intention to continue the game, we rebuffed his requirement for money. We told him that we relinquished the 100Yuan which had already been sent to him and we wanted the original draft of the credentials. We were refused. Till then we had realized that we had met an arrant swindler.

Fortunately the loss was not great, only 100 Yuan. My friend was let down a little. On our way back I appeased him. That is the first time in my life that we have been swindled.

      An outrageous beast

http://news.163.com/08/0501/05/4AR958SD0001121M.html

If you would like, you may read the news on Wangyi. I think it is the most outrageous beast in human history. He is really a villain, the most unscrupulous, inhuman, incestuous, beast. What he did harm is his daughter. She was held captive in the basement by him for 24 years and sexually abused by him during the years. He even fathered the seven children of hers.

I am greatly indignant about the news. I don’t know how you may feel. The indignation is beyond any words.

Like so many others, I have so many doubts. How could he hide the truth from all his closest relations for so long? How could he provide for them during the 24 years? How could he explain the three children that had been brought to the earth? Why didn’t they disclose the truth and have their mother rescued? …… Words just fail me. I am suffocated because of the indignation.

Anyone with senses can surmise what a life Elizabeth, the daughter had lived during the period of time, and what sufferings she had undergone and borne with her. The vicious, barbarous beast must be a lunatic. He shouldn’t belong to the human race. He is not even an animal. He should only be a beast, an incurable and irremissible beast. He should be hanged instantly and let his smelly bones and flesh be the food to wolves. If I may meet him face to face, I will send him to where he should be, even at the cost of my own life.

The two sons, when brought to the earth, were only too much amazed at the sight of a rising moon. What a pathetic story it is! I am only too curious about the patience and tolerance of Elizabeth, the daughter. Why should she have been so meekly accepting the inhuman and atrocious treatment? Why didn’t she steal any chance to get recued, even for the sake of her children?

As is disclosed, the father is exercised tyrannical dictatorship in the family. No one is expected to show the least sign of discontent, let alone rebellion. So that is in a way, the bitter fruit of tyranny.

I have no idea of what a trial or punishment the father will undergo. What I know is only that the father should reap what he has so bitterly sowed. He should be sentenced to death.

                    I am feeling so tired

Today is a fine day. After three continuous classes, I returned to my desk and felt so tired.

Is it because of the fact that I have been too old to be full of strength? I don’t know. But from time to time I feel so tired after working for a long time or simply overwork, unlike how I was feeling. Should I know better to amuse and relax a little even when a task is oncoming?

It is so obvious that we are strong only when we are young. I am only in my thirties. There are quite some years in front of me. Why should I feel that I am like an old man, strength spent?

Watching the grass and trees which are tender green, I can’t feel exhilarated at the new lives that have been sprouting. They send fragrance into the air and we can have a good taste of it.

Am I like an autumn leaf that is threatened by the oncoming frosty winter?

     Many thanks to a friend’s advice

Several days ago my friend, Laocao advised me to look to the positive side of all things and try to enjoy life.

I owe a lot of appreciation for his advice. Sometimes I feel a little down, especially when it is cloudy and therefore gloomy. I know I should not let the weather have much impact on my attitude towards life. At times I simply can’t hold control over myself.

It is really true that every day we have is a holy, divine gift from god. We should enjoy every day when we are healthy physically and mentally and should not moan. It is foolish of us to moan over the trivial and petty matters.

I will enjoy every day as much as possible.

            Where are you?

Where are you now, Monica?

You have been away for so long a time that you should return now. I don’t know what has happened to you or what are you busy with?

It was so boisterous when you are here. We can hear different voices. But now here it becomes a clammy, stagnant place. The monotony and stagnant atmosphere combine to let me down. After writing each article I have been waiting for you to have a comment on.

What I would like to listen is a different voice. As Chinese we were born here in China, brought up here, educated here. What we see, read, or are taught is always the same thing. So I like different voices. They are not only fresh, but also make our mind open up to the outside.

There should be no final judgment that one’s opinion is right or wrong. No one should make any hasty generalizations. We should put forward our opinions and wait for others to show their own. We write and let others write. I think this is democracy.