Spring has come

I feel so warm today. It has been sunny for several consecutive days. I feel like taking off the thick clothes I am wearing. However after a running for several rounds on the playground, I am feeling uncomfortable. Perhaps I have caught a very bad cold.

In autumn, remember to put on more clothes gradually. When we come to spring, remember to take off clothes in the same way. That is what our ancestors told us. I have violated this rule and it deserves me to suffer from it. I have no complaints.

Despite the cold I am suffering, I can still feel the warm massage of spring. Her warm hands are on every vein of mine.

Spring is the best season for kite-flying. My son has asked me to buy a new for him this year. We have tried for several times but in vain for lack of wind.

What is more, in spring, everything that has been dormant in winter has come back to life. It is so sweet a feeling to see some fresh buds in the trees. The grass is also becoming green. The people seem to have been revived. They get so active and energetic. The sky looks even bluer than ever.

“Since winter has come, can spring be far behind.” Percy Becy Shelly has such a verse. However winter seemed just too long for its inflexible and rigid manner.

Let’s enjoy the warm, fragrant spring together!

      On hearing the sad news

Last night when I was in the classroom watching over the students, I received a telephone from my sister that my grandfather, who is 90 years old now, is most probably passing away. I felt very sad, mentally depressed at such happenings.

Within the past two years two members of my family have passed away, my mother and my eldest uncle. It seems that life and death, takes only an moment and the fire of death, is so easily smothered but so hard to be kindled. We were born to the earth. We live a life for only several decades, and then we swiftly plunge into the depth of grave and enjoy the everlasting, never-to-rise sleep.

When my mother was on her bed passing away, she managed to get up and then lie down again several times. I didn’t know what she was thinking. She just looked at me. It seemed that she had got something to say. However she was already incapacitated by the disease. Her suffering was like a knife, cutting me to the quick. The next morning I went to the hospital to buy the painkiller (a medicine that may reduce the pain), though it was so cold that morning. I knew most probably it was the last thing I could do for her on the earth. She kicked the bucket the next night. She lost her consciousness before the last moment came. Some liquid came out from her mouth. My sister wiped it away. Gradually we couldn’t feel her pulse. And then she departed, from the mundane world.

Now it is my grandfather’s turn. He is 90 years now. Before the Spring Festival I went back home to see him. He found it so difficult to support his body since he is both tall and heavy. For most of the time he was just sitting there and taking drowsy. He was unaware of his secretion even. Fortunately my third uncle was tending to him carefully.

About prostitution in China

According to Monica, all prostitutes in New Zealand have been leading a happy and enjoyable life. They have chosen the profession voluntarily, without any outside pressure. They haven’t done that out of poverty, which is amazing.

Things are a lot different from what is happening in China. The prostitutes have come from these sources: 1. those who are pretty. They want to make profits on the primitive capital provided by their parents. 2. Those who are afraid of hard work. They look on it (prostitution) as an easier way to make more money with the least cost of physical exertion. 3. Those that have been lured by the luxurious lifestyle and so avid for it; however they can find no other means to achieve it. 4. Those that have been dumped in their life and therefore lost faith in life. They have taken the most degenerated way of life in others’ eyes, to flirt with life. 5. Those that have come from impoverished family. They have no other way to provide for their families except this one. 6. Those that have been forced by gangsters of any kind to become prostitutes.

The first four sources have made up the majority of the prostitutes. Undeniably most of the prostitutes are pretty and have good figures. They have regarded this as their divine gift from god and want to make the fullest use of it. So they take to prostitution, which is, needless to say, the fastest way to amass wealth with the least cost of labor. What is more, this kind of job needs very little training. So far as they are pretty and are able to spread their legs, everything is ok. I have great sympathy for those who are forced to be prostitutes by poverty. They are not doing it out of willingness. They have be made to so since otherwise they would have no way to for their families or themselves to survive. Most of them in the last case have been so destitute that they have received very little, if not at all, education.

What Monica said is true that prostitution is illegal in China. It is prevalently regarded as a vicious phenomenon of our society. The prostitutes need not to pay the taxes, therefore they are not protected by law. Some of them are even threatened or swindled by some of the corrupt policeman, and live a tragic life. They have become, in some hypocritical people’s eyes, a tumor of the society.

There is still no denying that where there is widespread prostitution, there will be affluent economy. The close link between these two has in a way, changed a lot of the government officials’ opinion on it and therefore they have showed more patience and tolerance to it.

Before the foundation of the People’s Republic of China, prostitution was legal in China. It is only after the liberation that it has been eliminated. The appearance and development of it has been closely together with the development of our national economy. It must be what has been advocated by the senior leader of China, Deng Xiaoping, “the flies and mosquitoes imported from the western world together with the better and most effective ways of developing the economy.”

Without the protection of the law, a lot of the prostitutes have been abused, and even killed. They daren’t show their true identity, since prostitution is legal. They have to take refuge in the corners of the society. In such cases no one is sure of their security. Prostitutes in New Zealand are living in the paradise, making more money in a legal and easy way.

As to Monica’s view that whenever she touches upon prostitution, she receives more attention, I want to say that we have undergone so long a period of ancient and modern feudalistic obscurity on sex. No one has any courage to admit that he is interested in it. Whenever we touch upon it we will be instantly intimidated into submission to silence. Even now we are not free to speak it out. On line we are safe. So it is natural we are interested in it, with our moral masks off.

I am far from being an expert on prostitution. What I show here is my personal observations and views. Prostitution is not something to be eliminated, rooted out easily. It is the close accompaniment of the development of our national economy.

    From time to time I am feeling I am in a state of depression. I know setbacks and frustrations in work have caused some very severe, negative impact on me. I don’t know how to deal with such a tough situations. I have tried my best to make up for what may have put to my blame. However in daily communications and interactions with others only with goodwill I can’t get what I expect. It must be true that I should let things be.

    What I worry about is that frequent falling into the depth of depression won’t do me any good. I should strive to estrange myself from it. Be optimistic every day and look to the best side of things. That is what I always tell myself.

    What matters most to me, and to others in the world, is that we should live a life far away from all those meaningless cares and worries, and try our best to take care of our family, especially our kids. We rose from the grave and to thence we will return. What is more important than our life?

    A new year has been ushered in. Time is pressing. I will try to make life as enjoyable as ever.

What is the way to improve our English?

To me, English is not only something for me to make a living by, but also an amusement to enrich my life. Therefore, to speak and write in perfect English is something I so much avid for. Nevertheless, from time to time I meet setbacks and frustrations in the way of learning it.

I have been an English learner for nearly 20 years. English is my major in university. What is more, I have been an English teacher for fifteen years. Every day I live with it and work with it. Every day I try to write down what I feel about everything, all my joys and cares, all my sufferings and tribulations. What a sad thing it is that I find I am still unable to make it as freely as can be!

I don’t know when I can make leaps and bounds in it and I can talk and write as naturally as possible with foreigners. I don’t think this day will come. Most probably I will be an English learner all my life.

Some declared that one won’t be able to use English perfectly unless he may go to foreign countries where English is the native language to live for some time. In this life such a prospect never looks possible to me. So I have to stay where I am now, and dream that one a miracle may come up.

  The first day of the new term

I got up this morning when the alarm rang. Drowsily I began to cook. Unwittingly I looked out of the window and found the ground covered with white snow. What an amazing scene!

There was no cloud when I got home last night. When did it begin to snow? Rarely could we see such snow now. I remembered that when I was young, very often we could see heavy snow. White snowflakes fell from the sky and fluttered. Sometimes our doors would be blocked. We found it difficult to push them open even. Global warming has worked a lot. Great impact has been cast upon us. How we miss the days gone by with dancing snowflakes like pure flowers. There seems to be some fragrance in the snow.

My son was beside himself with joy in such a jocund company. He got up quickly and ran to the window to see what a scene it was like. Thanks to heaven, this morning it saved me a lot of trouble, for otherwise I would have to spend a lot of time waking my son up and having him get dressed. He liked the snow as if it were his best friend. At noon, he would go out as usual to play with the snow, however cold it was notwithstanding.

It is the first day for my son to go to school. The snow helped me a lot.

     After reading the novel

Until now I have finished reading the novel, “Lady Chatterley’s lover” by D. H. Lawrence. Based on his novel “Sons and Lovers” I wrote my thesis for the Bachelor.

In the novel there are a lot of descrīptions of love-making scenes. The most prominent one is the love making between Mellors and Connie in the rain, which is short but impressive and exciting. It must be the vivid descrīptions of the love scenes that brought about its bad reputation of one of the officially banned books at its time.

The story happens in Wragby, which is a place where there are some pits where colliers work. Sir Clifford, one of the main characters, was crippled in the cataclysm, namely the First World War. The lower part of his body, from the hips down, was paralyzed for ever. Connis, his wife, was tormented by the lack of sex. She had sex with Michaelis, who was a friend of Clifford and then left. Later she fell in love with the game keeper, one of the servants of Clifford, Oliver Mellors. For love and for the satisfaction of that surging desire within her, she went to the cottage often and made love in the little room, with only a blanket as quilt. Ivy Bolton, who was a maid of Clifford, knew a little about this affair but she didn’t disclose it.

As the attachment for each other grew, Connie decided to elope with Mellors, and met with a rebuff from Mellors. In Venice with Hilda, Connie’s sister, Connie found herself pregnant. She determined to get Clifford to divorce her but was rebuked. The novel only ended with a long letter from Mellors to Connie, to show his intention to carry on with her.

What make me amazed are the raw, vivid, primitive descrīptions of love making.

THE LANTERN FESTIVAL

Today is the traditional Lantern Festival. The traditional food for today is sweet dumplings made of glutinous rice and flour. They are all round.

My son got up this morning and asked for the sweet dumplings. My wife refused him and he got so angry as to refuse to get up. Despite my remonstrance he still persisted. For reconciliation I cooked some for him.

After breakfast my wife and I went out for an outing with my son. We went to a nearby residential area for workers who work for Shengli Oil Field. Exhilaratedly my son climbed up the rockery located within the area. We followed him here and there. After a while he made friends with some children about his age. They began to play together: do fireworks, play games, and even ignite some white hay for fun. With his friends he didn’t need our company any more. With much concern about his safety we kept watch him from a distance. From time to time he would run to us for provisions---food and drink. He played there all the morning.

When it was about two o’clock in the afternoon, we decided to return. My son asked for some fireworks. So we went to a supermarket to buy some fireworks, as well as some food for ourselves. After that we returned home.

When we set out on the outing, we were against the wind, which exhausted us a lot. However we returned here quite enjoyably, since we had a tail wind. My son was very pleased with the fireworks we bought for him.

After supper sounds of all kinds of fireworks are resounded from all directions.

When we were young, we had our lanterns made of paper of different colors. Children don’t like all those things now. They prefer fireworks. As for sweet dumplings, some children like them, some not.

     What is missing from our life?

A lot of people complained about being swindled into false or fake thoughts during the Ten Years Cultural Revolution. They said the thoughts were only misleading. They only had been brainwashed in a true sense.

Nevertheless, they had something to believe in, fake or false it may be. They were not poor in terms of spirituality, which is just the thing we don’t have. It is something like a religion. So long as it doesn’t do any harm to the life or livelihood or sabotage national security, then it is ok for people to believe in something. That is the very thing that makes us distinct from other living species.

At present, we lose faith in anything. What we are striving for is only a meager or bounty physical existence in the world. We care nothing but money or social positions. If we are not empowered to have them, then we lose everything. Every developed country has seen such a stage. If satisfied with the basic desires, we seek more spiritual things to make our life rich, colorful and enjoyable.

Nowadays, most of us have no worries about our living. We want to find something to make our life more worthwhile to live. However we just find nothing. We are only dumbfounded, bewildered, and to cover all, lost.

Any affairs that are not fair in the world are so immutable, just beyond our power to change. What we can do is to accept them obediently. We have to adopt ourselves to so many things in the society, though we don’t think they are right. We have become fools, dumb living creatures, with nothing to support our life spiritually.

    Confronted with a void, we are at a loss, as to what is missing from our life.

    Two days before the beginning

of a new term

There are only two days left before the beginning of a new term. Frankly our new term has been on for two days. It is only because the students are not here at school that we are free, with only some preparation for the beginning of a new term. The most important thing for us to do during the period is to have an inspection on our work.

In Monica’s term, it is a kind of brainwashing. Any thoughts that are harmful or detrimental to teaching will be openly vowed and therefore eradicated. We have supposedly been required to do everything meekly and obediently and unconditionally. We have no right even to argue. The accusation of being homeschooled in China is not fair and square to us. Under the severe pressure, what can we do if we take the livelihood of our family into account?

We get our half weekends. I use “half” here because we have to go to school on Saturday mornings and Sunday evenings. We are satisfied, since it has already cut off a little pressure of ours.

“What man has made of man?” This is a verse from a poem which now I can hardly call to mind the poet. What have we been brought to the world for? To suffer, to bear all the troubles every day with no prospect of being emancipated? I just don’t know.

Having been under the yoke for so long, we have lost the power or ability to protest. We have become meek sheep. Sometimes I think the present education system is only a system of strangling people in a civil way, or to a less degree, making people wretched and dumb fools. I am just such a fool. Not only homeschooled, but also prosecuted, we have no idea of what our prospect my change to be.

• 新吉祥三宝（教师版）   
  谨以此文献给辛勤工作在教育战线的同行们
  
  爸爸!
  哎!
  太阳下山能够回家了吗?
  不行!
  星星出来了你还在哪啦?
  在学校!
  那怎么加班费也不发?
  做贡献啦!
  再累也是白干就是教师的一家!
  
  妈妈!
  哎!
  所有学生都能教得好吗?
  那我都成神啦!
  那啥时候人家才不找茬?
  等我不干啦!
  教师这碗饭能不吃了吗?
  总得有人干啦！
  桃李满园咱们就是吉祥的一家!
  
  宝贝!
  啊!
  学生要象祖宗一样对嘛!
  那老师呢?
  老师就是人家那廉价高能的保姆!
  保姆呢!
  保姆也比老师有尊严啊!
  噢!
  被打被骂被告被压就是教师的一家!

• 为了工作几乎不睡
  点头哈腰就差下跪；
  日不能息夜不能寐；
  工作有事立马到位；
  屁大点事不敢得罪；
  一年到头不离岗位；
  劳动法规统统作废；
  身心憔悴无处流泪；
  逢年过节家人难会；
  变更签证让人崩溃；
  工资不高还装富贵；
  稍不留神就得犯罪；
  抛家舍业愧对长辈；
  身在其中方知其味；
  不敢奢望社会地位；
  全靠傻傻自我陶醉；
  值此元旦节即将来临之际。
  向战斗在工作第一线的教师们致以崇高的革命敬礼

     A self-inspection on my teaching

    After a long meeting for a whole morning, we settle here in our office to write an article on our daily teaching, with an aim to find out what is missing from our teaching in every class. No one knows what the best way of teaching is. We can only make efforts to approach it. We are just not sure about it.

Having been a teacher for fifteen years, I am still uncertain as to how I can give the most effective class. I ruminated on so many things and only found nothing. I have to write what I have been expected to write by the leaders to meet the requirements. From time to time I think this life of mine is only too much of a waste, with nothing possible to achieve and doing merely the drudgery. Nothing can emancipate us from it.

Most of the teachers have to finish the job with only hand and mouth, but not with their soul. Most probably that is because we have been under pressure for so long and the drudgery has simply taken all the interest and passion out of us. I wish my passion in teaching restored to us.

I know clearly that I am not a man of capability to deal with tough matters in terms of human relationship. But I do like the job. I don’t think there should be any manmade contradictions to be involved in teaching, which should be holy and pure. Nothing can be contaminated since it involves the cultivation of souls of youngsters. However, too many things that should have been solved in the way of the children have been dealt with in the way of the adult.

“Those who have a heart of a child will be an evergreen tree.” Ye Shengtao once said. It denotes a meaning that a heart of the child can help people become young and spirited again. We are teachers and we are surrounded by students. What a good opportunity that is for us to be like a child. However, nowadays people have all rated shrewdness or sophistication so high that we can’t afford to discard them and embrace only the innocence and purity. Untarnished by anything won’t make you as pure as can be. You would be regarded as a good-for-nothing. What a bizarre and tragic thing it is!

A REFORM ON EDUCATION

Recently a reform is conducted throughout Shandong province on education.

The vice head of the teaching committee, Zhao, zhiyong, has announced a series of reforms on education, such as the restriction on the time for students at school: for five days, regardless of the ranks of schools; the restriction on the homework for students, with a time limit to only one and half hours for Junior School students; and the treatment of the marks that the students get at school as their privacy; the rearrangement of the subjects that the students are supposed to learn at school, with more emphasis on the cultivation of the students’ ability to think, create innovatively, put what they have learned to actual practice, and build their bodies, etc. and etc.

All teachers have hailed the reform as a blessing from heaven. Having been under so much burden and pressure for such a long time, we have been too exhausted. As what has been put by Zhang, Zhiyong, a lot of teachers have been on the brink of breakout, and some of them have only made that weak, pathetic and even deplorable sound: “We can’t put up with it any more, namely the present situation of teachers.”

If the reform is to be complimented in a real sense, we can expect to work five days a week, in fact there will be still six days, since there are students who get accommodation from our school and we have to go to school on Saturday in the morning and on Sunday nights. But we are still satisfied with such a reform. Even those who are teaching the last-year-students can expect to have the same privilege. Otherwise they would have to work from Monday to Sunday. Sometimes they even give classes continuously from seven in the morning to nine at night without a single rest. They benefit the most from the reform.

Although it is by law that we work five days a week, we have been working for such a long time without any mercy from any sources. We have been used wrongly. This is the most unscrupulous abuse of human brains. We are only too submissive to it. We are obedient, since we don’t want to make trouble and waiting so patiently for such a change. However, even today, we still have no assurance whether this is only a showcase lasting for only a short period of time.

Some teachers proclaimed that the reform is like the dawn of a morning or the final arrival of the spring, which are only metaphors to show their inexpressible gratitude to it.

We were afraid of being accused of dodging responsibility or a negligence of our divine duty, so we only accept what is thrown to us. We are not fools. However, every teacher in Shandong province bears a great gratitude for Mr. Zhang, who takes a risk at conducting such a reform. Some teachers even call him the “Qing Tian Da Lao Ye”, which is a term used when we were in feudal society years ago to address a government official who was well aware of and took care of the living conditions of common human beings.

           An outing with my family

Really a fine day today is. The sun generously sheds sunrays upon us. Everything is bright on earth. The buildings all take on a bright sheen. Though the air is quite chill, it is becoming warmer since spring has come. Little buds on sprigs of trees have come up. Some of the branches have taken on its clothes of a hue of green. A lot of sparrows, which are the only birds we can frequently see here in our city, are scurrying through the low sky as if chasing their lovers.

In the chill, but a little balmy air we set out on two bikes on an outing, to fulfill the promise we made for our son, to fly the kite I bought him yesterday.

When we got to a place which was quite clear of anything, the rail posts, buildings of any kind, trees etc, we got off the bikes and made preparations for the flying. It was the first time for me to fly a kite in a real sense in my life. I found it difficult at first. I threw the kite in the air and run against the wind, meanwhile letting go my hold on the line. Gradually supported by the wind, the kite began to soar. My son and I were both exhilarated. In order to make it fly higher I ran faster and faster with my son at my heels. My wife stayed with the bikes.

Through flying I came to know that the wind mattered too much for  kiteflying. Without it the line would become looser and looser and finally the kite would make a head plunge upon the ground. Since the wind was not that strong, I have to swing the line from time to time to help the kite swim upon the wind like a fish upon waves in a river. Finally I saw my kite high in the sky, which attracted attentions from several people nearby. My son asked to fly it himself. I was afraid that he might do as well. My wife remonstrated that it wouldn’t do any harm for practice. So I let my son have a try. Surprisingly I found him simply do much better than I did. So I gave him the free rein for him to play on his own.

After some time of running and kiteflying, I felt a little hungry. I took out the food with my wife and enjoyed the little picnic.

It is simply a fine day and we sure have had a great time.

                 A sentimental old man

I went to the university where I have studied with my son this afternoon.

First we came to a supermarket and bought some food and then I rode there, carrying my son, who got seated at the back comfortably.

When we arrived there, we went to the hill and climbed onto it. My son was very happy. He set fireworks here and there on the hill. I warned him in case that may cause fire. Obediently he threw all the fireworks one by one onto the ice after ignited them. He ate some food since he was hungry.

Then I carried him to the dormitory where I lived in when I was a student and the dinning hall where I had meals and the teaching building where I had my lessons. My son was excited to see what a lofty teaching building it is. Full of pride I led him into it and we go upstairs. The building has eight floors. It was quite a hard job for me to climb up by my son thought it nothing but an enjoyable experience. When we left the building and were just at the entrance of the building, there was some thing foamy in front of my eyes. It was just too pungent and entangled a feeling that was surging through me. All past things, some sweet and some bitter, pour into my heart at the same time. Most probably I would be accused of being too nostalgic in terms of this. I just didn’t know. I had been too old to be sentimental to a lot of things. But whenever I set foot upon the soil of the university such a feeling would inevitably come to me.

I have intended to make my son edified in such a way as to aim high since youth. However what I reaped most is that feeling. I just don’t know what the cause is. Since I was a little child I have looked on the schools I studied in as my resort to go to whenever something happens or whatever may happen. Once I quarreled with my elder sister so severely when I was still a little child, I left home at night, only to go to school to seek refuge and shelter.

With a mother mentally ill, where can I find some comfort and the warmth of a family? Perhaps that is the reason why I miss the university so much. And now, what is left me in the world is only a sister who was somewhat a little mentally ill too. What can I think of when I see all of the old things, suggestive of all that was happening in the past in the university?

I should turn my attention to the good side of things. I have my wife, my son to tender to. They are the major concern in the world now, since my sister has been married and she has got her own family. Our journey in the mundane world is too short and soon it will come to an end. Why should I shed tears to hurt myself by only a memory of the past? 

On Democracy

Lately there has been a hot argument here on the sensitive issue of democracy here. First of all I think it is better to let the politicians discuss and draw a conclusion. We are ordinary citizens and therefore we are not in a position, and it is useless to have such a hot dispute here.

Here as to the situation of democracy in China, I want to show my personal views.

1. Safety for everyone is one of the major components of democracy. I have just read an article by Manzan, who is studying in USA now and has just had a trip from Mexico. In Mexico, one of her colleagues, Li, was robbed of some money by a lady holding a gun and pointing at him. This is her own experience. On reading the story I only feel I am blessed to have been born in China and I can enjoy the safety here. This is the comment I left for Manzan: What a great adventure Li has undergone! I think it is an experience in Mexico that he will never forget later on in his life. Thinking of this, I feel it a matter of rejoicing to live in China peacefully each day and don't need to be bothered by such accidents.

In China, social security is made so sure by the police forces and even the PLA. We can go anywhere we like to go and do everything legally we like to do even at night. Social mobs are severely put down whenever they are detected out. Any citizens, no matter they are rich or poor, are under protection.

2. Food and houses are the first and foremost issue in democracy. China has the bulk of the population in the world. How to make sure that such a large population can have enough to eat and drink, that is, to cater to the basic needs of every person in China, is a major issue that should be under discussion. Despite the setbacks and frustrations that Chinese people have seen over the past years, China is on the right track now. Most of the Chinese are better off now. The people who are at risk of starvation are becoming fewer. Still, a lot measures are being undertaken to safeguard that all Chinese have enough to eat and enough space to live in.

3. Far different from the Qing Dynasty regime in the later part of its history, the present government of China has managed to win international prestige for China, the restoration of Hong Kong and Macao, being nothing but two examples. No Chinese is ashamed of his or her nationality now. No country in the world will afford to ignore the friendship with China. Even all our overseas citizens are enjoying respect brought to them by their nationality. “The Patients of East Asia”, has become nothing but a laughing stock to prove a person’s ignorance of the present world affairs.

4. Stability and prosperity are the major concerns of the present government, in exercising foreign or home policies and on tackling international or national issues. To a large country with so large a population, it is sagacious and sensible to have issued such policies. Fast and steady economic development has benefited all of the Chinese. Great changes in life have made the Chinese people treasure and cherish what they are enjoying now. No one in China, wants to see such scenes of social upheavals or disturbances brought about by the so-called democracy in some countries in the world.

There is no denying that there are a lot of problems that have occurred or even are occurring in China, such as corruption, inefficiency at certain level of the government, etc. However, how can we expect that in such a large country like China, there are not the least troubles or problems? If so, why do we need a government? We want a peaceful solution by the central government.

As to other affairs, such as the relation with Taiwan, are only internal affairs and should be solved internally. Such and such powerful and influential countries want to exert some influence on China’s affairs. In history, USA vowed that it was its air-carrier that would never sink. Undeniably it is a threat to our national security. As a result, any Chinese with good conscience will uphold the decision to get it back.

Finally I finished reading of the novel SISTER CARRIER by THEODORE DREISER, which has cost me a holiday during the spare time.

As the heroine of the novel, Sister Carrier left for Chicago at the age of eighteen, to make a living. She was full of illusions of ignorance and youth then. Her sister was in Chicago, to whom Carrier went. On the train to Chicago she met a man named Drouet. She made several attempts to seek a job in Chicago; however she either failed or just found the jobs were really hard and had little money in them. Also impoverished, her sister and her brother-in-law developed a dislike to her. Dejectedly one day after leaving a note to her sister, she left, only to stroll on the streets when she met Druet. Without anywhere to go, she became Drouet’s mistress.

Leading a leisured life with the help of Drouet, she acquainted with Hurstwood, who was one of Drouet’s friends and a manager. He was only more attractive than Drouet. Carrier dated with Hurstwood, despite Drouet’s sincere wish to marry her. Later Drouet found out the affair and angrily left Carrier. From Drouet’s mouth Carrier knew Hurstwood was nobody but a married man, with a daughter and a son. At this time, Hurstwood’s wife also got wind of her husband’s infidelity and she determined to divorce Hurstwood.

Being hard pressed by his wife’s insistent desire to divorce, Hurstwood was in a worry since all of his property was under the name of his wife. Divorced he would have nothing to live on. One he happened to find the safe was not locked properly in the company. With hesitation he finally mistakably locked the safe with money in hand. He decided to escape with nearly 10,000 dollars to another place to make a living. He forced Carrier to go with him under some excuses. They went to Montreal, then to New York.

Reported widely in newspaper about his misdemeanor, he was afraid of being detected. He communicated with the company and returned about 9,000 dollars to it. With only about 1,000 dollars at hand he found life was becoming hard for them since the depression came and the job opportunities are rare. After nearly all the money was spent, they were threatened with starvation. During a strike Hurstwood found a job as a driver in a nearby city. However under so many threats and even body attack by the men on strike, he fled back with wounds, too much frightened. With no other means to resort to, Carrier decided to seek a job for herself as an actor. Fortune treated her so well that she made such a great success that she not only got money to sustain herself and even for an extravagant life, but also a bright prospect. Many people around her were obsequious and toady. She was nothing but a great success. In sharp contrast with her, Hurstwood became only a beggar. Having been suffering from a lot of setbacks and humiliations, he died in a shabby room.

At last Carrier was only wondering what blind strivings she was making to achieve more success.

This is the story. I was puzzled at several aspects of it.

1. Is it really a tradition in America that youngsters should leave home and never return to provide any help to the family in return, since throughout the novel Carrier’s parents were only mentioned at the very beginning? And this novel was based on THEODORE DREISER’s own sister, who ran off to New York with a married man.

2. Is the economic situation so poor in America in about 1900 when the novel was published?

3. Why was the novel rejected by several publishers as “immoral”, as obviously there were no obscene descrīptions in the novel, unlike such novels as “LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER” by THOMAS HARDY?

4. What was the writer intended to tell, the hardships of the people at that time, the wayward attitudes towards life of Carrier, or something just beyond me?

Whatever, I am happy to finish this one. I am ready now to go on reading the next one, “LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER”, which I have finished nearly half when I was reading “SISTER CARRIER”.

A NAUGHTY BOY

Today the son my of wife’s elder sister, came to my home for a visit, together with his mother. He is only 10 years old.

He has been acknowledged as the naughtiest boy. His grandparents-in-law don’t like him at all. I don’t like his being in my home either out of my experience. He will destroy everything available. We have to watch over him all the time in case he should commit any wrongdoing owing to the failure of our effective supervision. Even his own father and mother, are bored of him. Frequently they are so angry with his misconducts that they threaten to drive him away. I know his mother’s intention to come here to leave him to our care for some days. I am too reluctant to agree with my wife to accept him.

He is not morally degenerated in fact. He is only too naughty to remain quiet for one minute. He is always in high spirits and energetic. He looks on destruction of things within his reach the highest enjoyment in the world. He doesn’t take the least like to reading or studying. So his school academic achievements are only too poor to tell. Her parents are too much worried about him. For all in all, he is their son.

This afternoon they three kids went out to play outside after a carefully prepared lunch. After only a little while my son came back to report to me that he was having serious fight with a tall boy. I was so worried that I went to him instantly and only to find them fighting against each other in the street. I am so tired of his stay. However his mother left audaciously, leaving my wife and me worried and concerned.

The reasons for his development into such a state of disposition or character are various. The most important of all is his grandmother and his mother’s treatment when bring him up. He is too much pampered. “Spare the rod and spoil the child”, it is really correct. Even when he was still a toddler, his grandmother and mother refused any blame to him. Whatever he did was right. No accusations of any kind are permissible and therefore tolerated. At their time, their son was the best and perfect in the world. They took care of him with the most miraculously and meticulously care, unparalleled by any other tenders. However they reap what they sowed in the past. Both of them are suffering a lot from the misconducts of the boy.

The other reason is his parents’ wrong idea to cultivate the character of a little child. His father once said that he won’t accept forgiveness from others but he is always ready to ask for forgiveness from them. What a misconception he has had in mind! That meant that he would be winked at and shielded so long as he can beat others when any controversial disputes occur between his son and the other boys.

The third reason I have to state here is his nature which determines his behavīor and attitude toward others. Just like all children at the present age, he is egoistic, and intolerant of mistakes from others.

Whatever it is, the boy has developed into such a character that no one likes him. No one can foresee what kind of boy he is when he grows up. I wish he would change a little and return to the normal road of life.

Several words on religions

Notably there are four major religions in the world, namely they are: Christianity, Buddhism, Islam. Each religion has a lot of determined and staunch followers. Each one has a great influence on nearly everything and everyone in the world.

In history all religion stemmed from a concealed attempt to control the poor people, since obviously so few people in each country are literate. All those cultured and educated became the supporters of the regime. In order to prove their value in the eye of the rulers, they created religion to deceive the people into submission to their fate and wait only for the days of atonement to come. Look through any doctrines of religion and you will inevitably find that what we are supposed to do is admit, be obedient, or submit to any sufferings or hardships. Whatever attempts to revolt will incur greater reprisal. So, what are we, the subjects expected to do? One word to cover all, it is to “submit”. That is why in history all the people were submissive until they couldn’t stand up to the heavy burden any more and they rose to demand for their rights. All in all, to various rulers in different countries, they found that religion was the best tool to employ to enable them to fool and therefore to rule the people better. Needless to say, this is the negative impact of religion upon the development of the world.

“If someone slaps you on the right cheek, show him the other.” That is what is preached in Bible. I have read most of the Bible and I simply feel I am overawed by the intimidation of the merciless, omnipresent and omnipotent god, or I am simply intimidated. This decree can better exemplify what an action we should take in face of invasion.

“We have been born to suffer in the mundane world.” “It is only after a long suffering when we are alive that we can get atonement when we die.” Sheer nonsense. After death what will happen to us? Who knows? Buddhism has in the same way, created a life after death for us to wish for.

For Islam I know very little since I don’t know the language. However, I saw people who prayed with the Koran in hand for mercy in films and books. I found the scenes were ridiculously the same for every cornered man to beg uselessly.

The core of the religion is the same: only by submission to fate in this life can they get the atonement in the other world, whether there is such a world notwithstanding. There is no need for the rulers to submit to fate. Even if they are asked to, they would unconditionally do as required, to submit to a lifelong extravagant lifestyle and then die the same as their subjects. It is only the ruled who need to submit to the rule of the rulers. They are supposed to consecrate everything that they have access to to the rulers to satisfy their avaricious desires.

Nevertheless, except its “anesthetic” use to dumb the subjects, every religion has something active in the healing the people’s wounds, especially in the modern world. In Bible, for example, there are a lot of things that are noteworthy for their use, in mental therapy in particular. Whenever we have gnawing secrets in mind that is hardly possible to tell others, we may go to the church to speak out, as a release of our mental burden. What is more, people are told to forgive, to be friendly to others, to be tolerant, not to steal, not to be hostile to our neighbors, and not even to commit adultery, etc. I think these decrees are of special use to people.

So, like everything in the world, religions, have their both active and negative effects upon the people. What is the most important, in the modern world, religions’ use as a narcotic means to cheat us has been waning, and its use of mental comforts is growing. And that is just the reason why I like religion now.