Firstly, language barrier exists throughout the process of our communication. Seldom is there anyone who can claim that he is a master of a foreign language if he or she has never lived in the country where the language is spoken. It so often occurs in newspaper or magazines that such and such a person can master several times and can use them as freely as possible. I just can't believe it. I have been learning and teaching English for so many years, however still now I am only writing in chinglish sometimes. So many things in language need to learn. Even a single word may cost a lot of time to learn. Some words we just can't make clear in what exact situation or context they are supposed to be used. I feel like being in a maze frequently and occasionally I feel I can only try to express myself as clearly as possible. The reason for my using big words so often is only because I have no courage to make clear what a word really means, for example, I don't think there is someone who can give all the uses of the word "fine". Big words has fewer meanings while small words have more. What I can state here is that we can only try to learn and we are always on our way of learning. So please don't accuse me of being profound when using big words.

    Secondly, every country, even a small tribe has got a lot of profuse and wideranged culture background. Different countries, different customs. In China, we think it too naturally when we greet each other in the street by "Have you had your meals?". Nevertheless, in English-speaking countries it will be regarded as an invitation. If we greet westerners in this way, a misunderstanding will appear. When I was learning English in University, I was so conceited after reading nearly all the novels on shelf in the library in English. However now, sometimes I just don't how to express myself clearly and to the point. Continual learning has humbled myself and made me be modest at every occasions.

    What a sad  thing it is to know from Kathy's blog that our generation won't be able see the day when Chinese education can compete with that of the developed countries. As a teacher of China, it is the saddest thing.

    There are a lot of serious problems with the current education system. The Chinese government is well aware of that. I don't know for what reason it fails to change it. I also have to admit that the present education system is the most fair and square thing in China, and it is conducive to all the people, especially the destitude. For those impoverished people in China, to enable finanically their kids to enter univerisity is the only and the most heroic feit for them to accomplish in their life. Entering a university, especially a decent one will provide them with a bright prospect of obtaining a decent job, which in their minds will ensure the life of their kids, though many of them fail to get that the job they are so desirous of even after a college education.

    The children are under severe burden and pressure that people from other countries will only find it unimaginable, so are the Chinese teachers. I am a teacher and so I have been endowed with the deplorable opportunity to witness all of that. My wife and I are both middle school teachers, and both of us are suffering from heart attack due to the high pressure at school, which can bear evidence to the fact that we are both extremely diligent teachers. We have no time to take care of our own children, because we have to take care of the children of others, and we are forced or obliged to do so. I think we have been inhumanly mistreated.

    What the present education renders are only a lot of mentaly deranged teachers and mentaly and bodily impaired students. According to my knowledge, most of the teachers in china have some psychological problems and many of them are so severe. We have no rights to give vent to some of our pentup feelings. They are like a tumour, eroding our health and rendering us incapable workers for under our influence, a lot of the students are suffering from the same problems.

    I am a teacher, but I just can't like the present system, which renders me an incapacitated worker.

    What is more, the social position of all the teachers  in china, according to what the leader in the educational committee in our city claims, has been the lowest in china since the building of the Minguo. 

    I began to read another novel, SISTER CARRIE, by Theodore Dreiser. It is a tougher task than THE GODFATHER, but an easier job than LORD JIM.

    As one of the representative masterworks of Theodore Dreiser's , SISTER CARRIER is widely acknowledged as a great accomplishment.

    What impressed me most is not the words or the plot, but what Dreiser described the job-hunting experience of Sister Carrier. Like what Dreiser put it a waif, Sister Carrier wandered in the street of Chicago seeking a job. Most of what she met was polite declination, there were also some ruthless rebuff. The poor thing, feeling so much frustrated and discouraged, finally managed to find one with so meager pay.

    Despite that fact that Carrier humbled herself so much, from time to time she met with rude and impatient remarks made by the bosses of the department stores. unlike the prosperous economy in Chicago now, the working conditions of the people there were only too pathetic. I don't know whether it was at the stage of the primitive development.

    Job chances were so rare that it was so difficult for Carrier to find one.

    Till last night I had finished reading the novel, THE GOD FATHER by Mario Puzo, which had been a fascinating experience.

    It is the third time for me to have read the novel, so I am quite familiar with the outline of the novel. Mario Puzo is so adroit at descrīption. I was only amazed at it. Whenever I have time I will take the book and keep on reading until I am severely rebuked by my wife to have dinner.

    Don coleon is the hero of the novel. But I like Michael the best. He showed his careful tactical monoevering at the end of the novel to wipe out his enemies, the Barzini and Tattaglia, as well as the family traitor Carlo Rizi and Tessio. He was all but successful. He was crowned Don again after his father's  death.

    The outline of the story is very clear. It begins with three supplicants to ask favours from the Don at his daughter's wedding, during that time the Don is the most generous in providing helps and ends with an complete victory on the part of the Coleon Family headed by Michael.

    Though it is the third time, my interest is far from erased by the repetition. If I have time in the future I will reread the story to amuse myself.

    I have read two novels again and again, one is the THREE KINGDOMS by Wu Guanzhong in Chinese, the other is the GODFATHER by Mario Puzo.  

    Great news it is to know that we are going to work five days a week and we don't have to give lessons at night. There is a decree seriously issued by the government. Seems that is not kidding matter this time. Both the teachers and students exclaimed on hearling the news. What we are afraid of is that it may become another policy which is not supposed to be implemented, only lip service.

     I am not lazy at work. I am, on the contrary, very hardworking indeed. That is why I have been suffering from heartattack. I have taken all the matters relevant to work too seriously. Now from years of working experience I know that I just can't finish all the work how I may exert myself. I am a teacher, so I have to keep the students safe, discipline the students, improving their learning, and I have to meet the demands of the leaders to finish a lot of useless toil all the time. After every exam, we teachers will be graded according to how our students have performed in it, or to say more exactly, what marks they have got. So many numbers, the rate of excellce, average students and how many students have passed the exam will be the standards by which we are judged by. Unlike those educationalists in the past, we are now imparting book knowledge, regarding it as the first and foremost task of ours. What is the worse, we have to toil for more than twelve hours per day. We just have no time to take care of our kids. More often than not, I leave my kid wandering on the school campus while I am taking care of the students. Even in so doing I will be put to blame for bringing kids to school. But at home there no one to look after him--my wife is a teacher too.

    Whoever has concience may have an investigation into the working conditions of the teachers. Just look at the tight schedule you will instantly know what is happening to them. There is a school in the nearby county. All the teachers are severely required to sit in office from 5 in the morning to 10 at night, with only 30 minutes in the morning, one hour at noon, one hour in the afternoon to have three meals. They will have to work 7 days a week. How will they be supposed to go home to see their parents.

    You may protest in a way against the inhuman treatment some may say. There is a very simple way to deal with such kind of staff---anyone who violates the "rule"(it is really a rule indeed.) will be dimissed without any compensation. Perhaps in Hainan Province a teacher who refused to give lessons during vacations was fired, with the support of the local government. We are slaves in a way. We have been trained to be teachers, how can we supposed to make a living without the job?

    If someone may ask all the teachers in China whether they like their job or not, I think most of the teachers will give the firm and definite answer that they don't.

    The students are in worse situations. Since no teachers can affort to be graded very low by the students' marks, they assign unduely a lot of homework to do. Some of the assignments are really nonsense, since a lot of them ask the students only to read, recite. Thanks to the way of teaching, I know a lot of English words ahhahah. The students' health conditions are the worst in history. Will they be qualified constructors in the long run? I am too much perplexed, bewildered.

    The decree requires the students only to attend class only five days a week, without classes at night. They can only go to school five days a week. They will have a lot of spare time.

    I am in doubt just whether it will be earnest implemented and when it will be put into effect.

    Today I went to the hospital to have an phsical examination. The doctor advised me to have a checkup on my kidney, which made me worried. A colleague of mine is still now in hospital for treatment of her kidney failure. Out of deep fright I went obediantly to the hospital. I am so happy now since after an detailed examination I have been proved to be as healthy as can be.

    Health matters so much to us. In May this year I went to the hospital and was diagnosed as a victim of heart attack. The doctor proclaimed that my life was really at risk. I gave up my plan for a travel and I paid the cost for a violation of the contract already signed with the travel agency. It was at that moment I realized what life meant to me. The doctor warned me not to leave the patients' room. He said my life would be threatened when I went out since heartattack was the most unpredictable disease that put a threat to human life. We didn't know where it was and when it would go to us.

    No matter in what a state our life is, we should be content with ourselves so long as we can breathe freely. Recently I can't even write a blog since the heart attack.

    On reading some of the discussions here, I am just caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. I want to express my thoughts and ideas freely. However, I have met so many setbacks and frustrations.

   Once I gave a lecture on taking better care of the teachers and students, since they are under so much pressure from all sides of the society. After the lecture I was directly reported to the leaders. I am now in a fright of being persecuted in one way or the other.

    Frankly I said nothing with evil meanings or malicious intentions. My lecture was mainly based on the material I had gleaned in my working experience. I was only too much concerned about the health conditions of both the teachers and the students. I have been suffering from a heartattack for a long time, which partly derives from a burdernsome work. After the lecture a leader immediately said that I was not so positive in my views and he gave a clue that I was not a qualified a teacher even.

    There are a lot of rules and regulations. We would be deemed unqualified if we utter any complaints or grievances. I think people should give vent to their stifling emotions, otherwise they will suffer from some kind of disease. In Japan, any staff can beat a mimic leader--a sculpture in a special room to release them of the mental burden. It should be accepted by all that no matter how well a leader has performed his duties, there will be complaints. But in China rarely are there leaders, especially leaders at the rudimentary level can look on this as human nature. The least unfavourable words will make them angry and take reprisals.

    However, I don't mean in China everything is unfair to everyone. China is a big country with a long history of feudal rule. As is known to all the residuals may not be eradicated completely. There is so large a population in China. Too much democracy may arouse internal strifes as happening now in other parts of the world. What I want to say is that so many people have gone too far. They regard the leadership as their divine gift from heaven and they can make unscrupulous use of it. In a sense the leadership has become dictatorship.

    I think that it is better for China to have a media independant of government inspection. Everyone can go there and make complaints. I don't think it will do harm to the government rule. It will only be a psychological therapy. I don't think there will be human resources to cope with the managment work since there are too many pentup complaints in the society.  

TO MONICA AND KATHY

    I agree with most of what you are discussing and what is in Monica's article.
However, things in china are a lot different from that of foreign countries.
I agree with Kathy that the students are greatly restrained by the word limit when they are supposed to write a composition. They can't express their thoughts and ideas clearly. I ask my students to write something down daily as a journal. They can write everything may pop up in their minds and they can write as long as they like. It is ok for them to drop only one or two sentences down for one journal.

    For vocabulary, I have reiterated several times here I have been misled by the educational system in China. You can go to any university and inquire into the students' English study, you will instantly find that the priority for a students to learn english is to learn my heart the words. They are so tough a task for students to fulfil. They are like monks, reading books of vocabulary every morning as a mass. I have done the same job. Luckily later on I changed my way into reading english literature instead of only memorizing each word without contextual usage. Nevertheless, vocabulary has helped me a lot in a lot of exams and in reading. As to my daily teaching english, I think we have put most of the time to word learning.

    Monica, I respect your help to every english learner here. However since you are from Newzealand, you never will know in what a way chinese students are learning english. What I want to tell you is that English is the most important subject in china. No students can afford to give it up. The main purpose of the students to learn english is to take exams, and then to communicate with foreigners.

    Especially in writing, as foreign learners of english, my students including me, can't find the most suitable and adequate words to express what we are thinking. We have to use the words or phrases that are available in our mind to express our thoughts and ideas. So we from time to time may write Chinglish. I don't think we can write perfect english as you  native english speaker may do. I don't know if  you know any foreign languages. If you do, you may make the same mistakes. If we say "hello" "how are you?" and then shut our mouth, maybe you will say that we are speaking perfect english. If we continue talking, then our chinglish will inavoidably been brought to the light.

    I have been using english-english dictionaries for a long time. However, I don't think the oxford Dictionary of english is as useful as longman dictionary, which is concise, clear, and with a lot of word usage. So I asked my students to have Langman dictionaries each.

    Due to Kathy's introduction, I read an article on China Daily on the present educational system in China. Most of what he said is true to the core I think. However I am still skeptical about whether the people at the lowest rank of the society can have the chance to get higher education in the hope of changing their fates as they so often desire, if the present educational system is overhauled.

    I was born into a peasant's family, which had got a favourable treatment during the reign of Chairman Mao, who is so often than not, accused of dictatorship now. Thanks to the present educational system, I was endowed with an opportunity to enter the college to be trained and my life had thereby made a drastic turn, for otherwise I would be in the fields ploughing the poor barren land, which is hard work and what is reaped every year is not enough to feed my  family. I am from the lowest rank of the society.

    The educational system has changed a lot. The changes are not favourable with the poor people, the rising college fee for example. A lot of families are made poor because their longing wishes to have their children educated, especially in a university. Usually a family will have to invest all their lifelong earnings in the education, and as a result they have became destitudes. What a tragedy it is for they to see that after even a university education their kids are still unable to find a job, to make a decent living. However the dim the hope is, they have something to aim at. If there was not a strict educational system which is widely acknowledged as the most fair and honest system in China, how can they have the smallest hope to change their destiny?

    I have not many favourable feelings towards the present system, and the comparative fairness of the present college entrance system is to my like.

    What I hate most is the heavy pressure on the students, especially the primary and middle school students, who are still  young and immature, and they have to shoulder the responsibility for their "bubble" future. They have to toil laboriously at least 10 hours a day while their parents can enjoy an easy and comfortable life, rising at 9 in the morning and leaving work at 5 in the afternoon. WHAT A CONTRADICTION IT IS! The young suffer and the growups enjoy. And we say the children are the hope of the future. I think they have become the victims of the future, with thick glasses on and a weak body limpering around.

    So far as the healthy condition of the present youngsters is concerned, I think the government has ruined at least two generations, and the present educational system is being pushing forward.

We will be directly accused of, here I use the word "accuse" again, being not loyal or devoted to our work with our heart and soul, if we make any complaints about the present educational system of china. We are supposed to clap our hands and cheer whatever measures may be taken by the leaders. There is a very strict system of evaluation of our performance in our work, that is by what grades our students may get in one or two exams. If our students may do well in the exams, we will be glorified, otherwise we will be condemned to the hell. You can hardly imagine in what a way we are working. Kathy's sister works from five in the morning till the 10 o'clock in the night. What can  you expect her to do except work? We should do nothing but to work, to work with heart and soul. Sometimes I even want to shout out that the educational system is inhuman. How can we take care of our family, our parents and kids?

    Under the demands of our leaders, we have to put so heavy pressure upon our students and give them too much homework to do, which is so inhuman too. Most of us teachers know it is not right to do so. But we have to. We just can't afford that the students may do too poor in an exam.

    By nature I love teaching as a job. In every class I try to make my students amused in teaching, instead of being a pedantic preacher all day long. Most of the students say that they like my way of teaching. I am satisfied and proud of that. However, once my students did too poorly in an exam, I was so severely rebuked by the leaders. Making the students happy is by no means the match to putting heavy pressure on the students. I know that. If there had been no knives and rope up their neck and shoulders, the slaves in Egypt wouldn't have been able to accomplish the wonder task of building the pyramids.

    It must not be advisable for me to drink too much wine. Last night I didn't sleep quite well because of the wine i drank. However, as a man who lives in the world, we have to do things most of the others are doing, whether we like it or not.

    Most of the guests invited to the dinner last night were government offcials. I am only an ordinary one, without any social ranks to mark out for attention. I don't want to be in the center of the spotlight.

    I should get accustomed to my present situation, since in no way can me change it. I have been at an age unaffordable for a change of my career. I have to accustom myself to my present situation.

    No matter what may happen in my life, I am quite content with a life now. Whenever I recall those past happenings to mind, perpiration sweeps over me at the thought of the inevitable end of everyone of us.

    A friend, whose name is richard_che, left a comment to me yesterday. She was a university student. It is she who reminds me of my university campus life. It is a mixed and complex feeling whenever I think of it.

    Since my university is not very far from me, occasionally I go there with my son on my bike. So many changes have taken place there. But I prefer to watch the old buildings and sceneries. Sometimes I will just stay in one place where we have wandered and meditating. The scenes of my classmates and I playing together often swim into my mind. I just remain there, motionlessly. It is often my son's voice that call me back to the reality. There is always a feeling of pungent sweetness. I don't know if I am too much of a sentimental and nostagic man.

    Then I was still young, presumsuous and selfconceited in the pursuit of vainglory. If I may say that I was in the sky at that time, now I have long returned to the ground and try to earn for my family a living. The dreams of the youth are just long dreams.

    Good memories of the past are like bottles of wine of mixed taste and flavour. I don't know which to choose to enjoy myself now.

    From time to time, I will open my blog on sohu, where my classmates have got registered. There I can say nearly all my classmates. Times has left marks on their faces and body. Some of them are becoming so plump, especially the girls. Some of them has lost their hot temper in appearance, which has got him into so many setbacks and frustrations,for example me. Some of them seem to be a little bended in their physical stature and some of them has become stouter.

    It may be the best time for all, who has ever experienced the university life. The song is on air: When I was young I listened to the radio, waiting for my favourite song. When they played I sing along, It made me smile......

    I have never been abroad, so I don't know the way English-speaking people really talk in. When I was in the university as a student, my foreign teachers were all kind and hospitable. And they seldom talked to us in casual English. Perhaps that was because they are our teachers and they would like to teach us formal English too.       

    I can't write as casually as you because I am still not as good at English as you do in casual English. Phrases like "long time no see", "i don't know nothing", etc are difficult for me to understand. I don't know in what an exact situation they should be used. All languages are difficult to learn, especially those slangs. I am reading a novel by Marie Puzo---The Godfather. It is the third time for me to read it. But still, there are a lot sentences difficult fo me to understand. Nearly all of them are slangs. I only know the approximate meaning of it. Of course it does no harm to my understand of the novel. I will try my best to learn.                       

    I have learned English through books. So I wish to chat with foreigners to practice oral English. I can chat with them freely in formal English. Whenever they say slang, or say in their dilact, there is much difficulty in communication. 

    Once when I was studying in Jinan, the capital of Shandong Province, I chatted with a foreign friend from Africa. He said I was speaking standard English. I could understand much of what he said. But sometimes I failed to understand him. Education does matter a lot to us. I know he may be saying slangs. I invited him to my city for a visit. Due to a tight schedule, he didn't agree. Now he is in USA now. He invited me to a website called "shelfara", which is an association on line to talk about the books we are now reading.

    I will try to learn some slangs. However I am forbidden to use them to in my class. In my class I have to behave like a pedantic preacher, talking in English grammatically correctly. hehehhahah. Marks matter too much for my students and me. Every misdoing in grammer means a failure to get the mark.

    We are ruled by English grammer and vocabulary, which exercises a heavy rule over us. heheheheheheheheheahhahahhahahh. The students who are studying in university are a little free, however.

    I don't think it would do without you here, Monica. You are the greatest contributor here. You have taken the responsilities of both a writer and a helper and a corrector. I have benefitted so much from your teaching, though you are not, and you don't intend to be, a teacher.

    It has been my habit to write every sentence down grammatically correct, since I am a teacher and my profession demands that. So in your eyes, my article may be too formal to read. When we are teaching students, we are required to use English, however grammatically correct sentences in English. Any mistakes in our oral speech which are not grammatically correct are deemed as far more undesirable and may even be severely reprimanded. 

    What is more, sometimes we are required to write articles, or you may call them essays, in English. If we write with spoken words, we won't pass the examination. We have been misled to the wrong direction in your eyes. The present education in China requires us to master the use of grammer, especially the vocabulary. Nearly in every university in China, it is commonly accepted by all that the more words you know, the better your English is. So we have been led astray. We are often so proud of the words, especially those big ones, that we know.

    If I am not bragging, your grammer may not be as good as many of our university students, since they have been taught in the way for so many years.hahahahah

    I am happy to be rated one of the top five by you, nevertheless, there are no one else here who would like to give advice except you.

    Last of all, I learned ANOTHER word from you, accusation. I have no idea that it is so formal a word. I won't use it again unless I would sue you to court. hahahaha

    In response to Monica's accusation that whether I have been making a pretence of being profound or not, I will have to write the article to explain, which is in fact a stimulus for me to write another article. heeheheheahah

    Firstly,though I have been learning English for years, I am still unable to use every word, or phrase, or sentence very expressively and to the point, especially a newly-learned one.So sometimes I may sound ambiguious or obscure. I don't like reading articles or novels that are difficult to understand either. Recently I have quited reading the novel "Lord Jim" by Joseph Conrad. It is so difficult a novel that I can hardly know anything after finishing one part of the story.

    Secondly, I have only tried to use big words or phrases to familiarize myself with them, for obviously there is no other way for us to put to actual use what we have learned.

    Thirdly, everything I write down here is not written after careful consideration or deliberation. Most of them are only something popping out my mind as you say. So the choice of words are not inappropiate.

    Fourthly and the most importantly, sometimes I have intentionally used big words or phrases for fear of being found out that I am uttering grievances, though I know it is quite safe here. In the place where I work in there is a strict rule  in against uttering grievances in public.

    Despite all what is said above, I will try to write as clearly as possible here. I wish everyone would like them.

    Perhaps others prefer writings that both make sense and are easy to read. I like this kind of writings too. Previously I used a lot of big words which may be difficult or even obscure to understand. The big words are those I find unfamiliar to me. So I try to put them to actual use in order to make them look old friends to when I may meet them the second time.

    Yesterday the discomfit derived not from my anxiety in teaching, but from the Low Blood Sugar, from which I have suffering too much. For a teacher who has 15 years of teaching experience, will it be a tough nut to crack to have a lesson? Teachers in China are under a lot of pressures. we are hardworking enough. However, the leaders are not satisfied. We have to overwork a lot. I love teaching as a job. It is the unbearable pressure that squeezed the last drop of water from my the sponge of enthusiasm for teaching. I love my students. However we are under pressures from their parents too. If my students can't enter a higher school as their parents expect, we are put to blame. If our students fail to do well in various exams during a term, we are put to blame. If there are any accidents happening within the school courtyard, which may do harm to the students, we are put to blame. 

    Under so many pressures, some of my colleagues have been sent to hospital. What is the worse, a lot of them, me for instance, are persisting. During the May holiday this year, I was so happy to obtain a hardearned holiday, so I went to the doctor. I was advised to stay in hospital to be treated for the serious heart problem. The doctor proclaimed a death sentence to me even. He said there would be danger to my life itself if I strained myself too much, especially in my work. I felt the sky had fallen down, leaving me forlorn and forsaken and deserted at that time. My son is only seven years old. How can he survive if there is something that my happen to me? Now I am trying to relax a little in my work, and there is not some spare time for me to relax in fact. And I have been accused of loafing on the job by the leaders. I don't know what to say. My wife, who is a mathe teacher, has the same heart problem. The doctor said her heart condition was only like what an old lady might be in her sixties.

    Two of my colleagues are in hospital now. One of them is suffering from breast cancer after an operation. The other is more serious, from kidney failure. The later is still in her 20s, unmarried. Her kidney should be changed. We donated some money to her for her lack of money to carry out the operation, which is costly. The work, may not be fully responsible for the wrongdoing. However undeniably overwork has contributed a lot to the worsening of her deteriorating health condition.

    Dear Monica proclaimed herself to be a happy bird. That is because she has a free job and has much free time to enjoy life. For us, who are so severely pressed every day, how can we be expected to laugh at all time when our life is constantly in danger.

    We should not jeer at others if they utter some grievances or complaints. Sometimes we only come here to say something to lessen the heartfelt tension. It is psychologically beneficial to them. If we acclaim openly that we are bored of the job, our job will be endangered. What can we do? That is the very reason for me to come here to  say something in English. One tension told here is one tension a little lessened to me.   

    I return here sweated all over. There must be something wrong with me. When I was in the classroom, I was feeling so uncomfortable. I was not feeling cold, however there was a trembling overwhelming me and taking the advantage over me, and I was sweated all over then. I was feeling so hungry and wanted anxiously something to satisfy the sense of hunger.

    Maybe the Low Blood Sugar is the cause of it. I am not sure. If it is it's wrongdoing, I don't know how to cope with it in the future. In the past such things happened to me repeatedly. For a long time I haven't had such experiences. However now it returns sneakly like a ghost who tries to haunt my life. Is doing sports the cure for it? I don't know. I should know better to keep more healthy phsically.

    Having experienced some tragic incidents in my family, I am feeling so vulnarable to such attacks. I am not afraid of death. It is the period before death, the torture, the torment makes me scared. What my life will be will be. Nothing can change the natural course if something is doomed to happen to me.

    In order not to arouse some little disturbance in the classroom, I tries to hold control over myself and resumed the teaching after some unnoticeable effort to keep control, despite the beads of perspiration falling down through my cheeks. My hair was watered. I tried to keep me aloof from the changing of voice because I am trembling.

    There are not beneficial diseases. Every illness brings about some discomfiture so long as we are human beings.

    Looking it from the other side, I become a little happier when I think of the fact that even the sufferings are still proof of my existence in the world, as a human being. 

    I am perplexed at your words and I can't follow your logic either, though I appreciate your help so much.
    You can't expect us to write as fluently and expressively as you do. If you do expect us to be so then you are an exact teacher for us. heheehehhahhaha

    Could you tell us more specifically what is wrong with my writing? Have I just used big words that were not appropriately used? or have I just mixed up all the grammar and all my sentences don't make any meaning at all? or I am simply as you declared, putting words together which won't bear sense as a whole?

    I want to know whether you don't understand my thought in English or just don't understand the english i am using. Please tell me more clearly. Now I am more a drunkard than I was after the party. ahhahahhhaha

    I am just bewilered. Do you mean that the writing I wrote when I was a drunkard really nonsense? Or are there so many mistakes in the article" the attitude towards life"that it is sheer nonsense again? Have I been using english correctly? this is the critical thing to me? If you think my written english is acceptable, however you just can't make clear what i want to say, then I can feel a litte rest assured. But if you think i am making nonsense or just putting words together, please let me know. 

    Last night I went to a party with several colleagues. We drank a lot of beer. At the party we chatted on everything that was passing through our minds at the very moment. Our talk flowed on, like a meandering stream. We made fun of each other. There was an atmosphere of both harmony and friendship pervading the party.

    I returned as a drunkard. Despite that, I switched on the computer and signed in and drew several lines down as a blog, for I don't want my record of the day to be blank.

    Life is full of incidents like this. We live in the world and we should have some social intercourse.