A REFORM ON EDUCATION

Recently a reform is conducted throughout Shandong province on education.

The vice head of the teaching committee, Zhao, zhiyong, has announced a series of reforms on education, such as the restriction on the time for students at school: for five days, regardless of the ranks of schools; the restriction on the homework for students, with a time limit to only one and half hours for Junior School students; and the treatment of the marks that the students get at school as their privacy; the rearrangement of the subjects that the students are supposed to learn at school, with more emphasis on the cultivation of the students’ ability to think, create innovatively, put what they have learned to actual practice, and build their bodies, etc. and etc.

All teachers have hailed the reform as a blessing from heaven. Having been under so much burden and pressure for such a long time, we have been too exhausted. As what has been put by Zhang, Zhiyong, a lot of teachers have been on the brink of breakout, and some of them have only made that weak, pathetic and even deplorable sound: “We can’t put up with it any more, namely the present situation of teachers.”

If the reform is to be complimented in a real sense, we can expect to work five days a week, in fact there will be still six days, since there are students who get accommodation from our school and we have to go to school on Saturday in the morning and on Sunday nights. But we are still satisfied with such a reform. Even those who are teaching the last-year-students can expect to have the same privilege. Otherwise they would have to work from Monday to Sunday. Sometimes they even give classes continuously from seven in the morning to nine at night without a single rest. They benefit the most from the reform.

Although it is by law that we work five days a week, we have been working for such a long time without any mercy from any sources. We have been used wrongly. This is the most unscrupulous abuse of human brains. We are only too submissive to it. We are obedient, since we don’t want to make trouble and waiting so patiently for such a change. However, even today, we still have no assurance whether this is only a showcase lasting for only a short period of time.

Some teachers proclaimed that the reform is like the dawn of a morning or the final arrival of the spring, which are only metaphors to show their inexpressible gratitude to it.

We were afraid of being accused of dodging responsibility or a negligence of our divine duty, so we only accept what is thrown to us. We are not fools. However, every teacher in Shandong province bears a great gratitude for Mr. Zhang, who takes a risk at conducting such a reform. Some teachers even call him the “Qing Tian Da Lao Ye”, which is a term used when we were in feudal society years ago to address a government official who was well aware of and took care of the living conditions of common human beings.

           An outing with my family

Really a fine day today is. The sun generously sheds sunrays upon us. Everything is bright on earth. The buildings all take on a bright sheen. Though the air is quite chill, it is becoming warmer since spring has come. Little buds on sprigs of trees have come up. Some of the branches have taken on its clothes of a hue of green. A lot of sparrows, which are the only birds we can frequently see here in our city, are scurrying through the low sky as if chasing their lovers.

In the chill, but a little balmy air we set out on two bikes on an outing, to fulfill the promise we made for our son, to fly the kite I bought him yesterday.

When we got to a place which was quite clear of anything, the rail posts, buildings of any kind, trees etc, we got off the bikes and made preparations for the flying. It was the first time for me to fly a kite in a real sense in my life. I found it difficult at first. I threw the kite in the air and run against the wind, meanwhile letting go my hold on the line. Gradually supported by the wind, the kite began to soar. My son and I were both exhilarated. In order to make it fly higher I ran faster and faster with my son at my heels. My wife stayed with the bikes.

Through flying I came to know that the wind mattered too much for  kiteflying. Without it the line would become looser and looser and finally the kite would make a head plunge upon the ground. Since the wind was not that strong, I have to swing the line from time to time to help the kite swim upon the wind like a fish upon waves in a river. Finally I saw my kite high in the sky, which attracted attentions from several people nearby. My son asked to fly it himself. I was afraid that he might do as well. My wife remonstrated that it wouldn’t do any harm for practice. So I let my son have a try. Surprisingly I found him simply do much better than I did. So I gave him the free rein for him to play on his own.

After some time of running and kiteflying, I felt a little hungry. I took out the food with my wife and enjoyed the little picnic.

It is simply a fine day and we sure have had a great time.

                 A sentimental old man

I went to the university where I have studied with my son this afternoon.

First we came to a supermarket and bought some food and then I rode there, carrying my son, who got seated at the back comfortably.

When we arrived there, we went to the hill and climbed onto it. My son was very happy. He set fireworks here and there on the hill. I warned him in case that may cause fire. Obediently he threw all the fireworks one by one onto the ice after ignited them. He ate some food since he was hungry.

Then I carried him to the dormitory where I lived in when I was a student and the dinning hall where I had meals and the teaching building where I had my lessons. My son was excited to see what a lofty teaching building it is. Full of pride I led him into it and we go upstairs. The building has eight floors. It was quite a hard job for me to climb up by my son thought it nothing but an enjoyable experience. When we left the building and were just at the entrance of the building, there was some thing foamy in front of my eyes. It was just too pungent and entangled a feeling that was surging through me. All past things, some sweet and some bitter, pour into my heart at the same time. Most probably I would be accused of being too nostalgic in terms of this. I just didn’t know. I had been too old to be sentimental to a lot of things. But whenever I set foot upon the soil of the university such a feeling would inevitably come to me.

I have intended to make my son edified in such a way as to aim high since youth. However what I reaped most is that feeling. I just don’t know what the cause is. Since I was a little child I have looked on the schools I studied in as my resort to go to whenever something happens or whatever may happen. Once I quarreled with my elder sister so severely when I was still a little child, I left home at night, only to go to school to seek refuge and shelter.

With a mother mentally ill, where can I find some comfort and the warmth of a family? Perhaps that is the reason why I miss the university so much. And now, what is left me in the world is only a sister who was somewhat a little mentally ill too. What can I think of when I see all of the old things, suggestive of all that was happening in the past in the university?

I should turn my attention to the good side of things. I have my wife, my son to tender to. They are the major concern in the world now, since my sister has been married and she has got her own family. Our journey in the mundane world is too short and soon it will come to an end. Why should I shed tears to hurt myself by only a memory of the past? 

On Democracy

Lately there has been a hot argument here on the sensitive issue of democracy here. First of all I think it is better to let the politicians discuss and draw a conclusion. We are ordinary citizens and therefore we are not in a position, and it is useless to have such a hot dispute here.

Here as to the situation of democracy in China, I want to show my personal views.

1. Safety for everyone is one of the major components of democracy. I have just read an article by Manzan, who is studying in USA now and has just had a trip from Mexico. In Mexico, one of her colleagues, Li, was robbed of some money by a lady holding a gun and pointing at him. This is her own experience. On reading the story I only feel I am blessed to have been born in China and I can enjoy the safety here. This is the comment I left for Manzan: What a great adventure Li has undergone! I think it is an experience in Mexico that he will never forget later on in his life. Thinking of this, I feel it a matter of rejoicing to live in China peacefully each day and don't need to be bothered by such accidents.

In China, social security is made so sure by the police forces and even the PLA. We can go anywhere we like to go and do everything legally we like to do even at night. Social mobs are severely put down whenever they are detected out. Any citizens, no matter they are rich or poor, are under protection.

2. Food and houses are the first and foremost issue in democracy. China has the bulk of the population in the world. How to make sure that such a large population can have enough to eat and drink, that is, to cater to the basic needs of every person in China, is a major issue that should be under discussion. Despite the setbacks and frustrations that Chinese people have seen over the past years, China is on the right track now. Most of the Chinese are better off now. The people who are at risk of starvation are becoming fewer. Still, a lot measures are being undertaken to safeguard that all Chinese have enough to eat and enough space to live in.

3. Far different from the Qing Dynasty regime in the later part of its history, the present government of China has managed to win international prestige for China, the restoration of Hong Kong and Macao, being nothing but two examples. No Chinese is ashamed of his or her nationality now. No country in the world will afford to ignore the friendship with China. Even all our overseas citizens are enjoying respect brought to them by their nationality. “The Patients of East Asia”, has become nothing but a laughing stock to prove a person’s ignorance of the present world affairs.

4. Stability and prosperity are the major concerns of the present government, in exercising foreign or home policies and on tackling international or national issues. To a large country with so large a population, it is sagacious and sensible to have issued such policies. Fast and steady economic development has benefited all of the Chinese. Great changes in life have made the Chinese people treasure and cherish what they are enjoying now. No one in China, wants to see such scenes of social upheavals or disturbances brought about by the so-called democracy in some countries in the world.

There is no denying that there are a lot of problems that have occurred or even are occurring in China, such as corruption, inefficiency at certain level of the government, etc. However, how can we expect that in such a large country like China, there are not the least troubles or problems? If so, why do we need a government? We want a peaceful solution by the central government.

As to other affairs, such as the relation with Taiwan, are only internal affairs and should be solved internally. Such and such powerful and influential countries want to exert some influence on China’s affairs. In history, USA vowed that it was its air-carrier that would never sink. Undeniably it is a threat to our national security. As a result, any Chinese with good conscience will uphold the decision to get it back.

Finally I finished reading of the novel SISTER CARRIER by THEODORE DREISER, which has cost me a holiday during the spare time.

As the heroine of the novel, Sister Carrier left for Chicago at the age of eighteen, to make a living. She was full of illusions of ignorance and youth then. Her sister was in Chicago, to whom Carrier went. On the train to Chicago she met a man named Drouet. She made several attempts to seek a job in Chicago; however she either failed or just found the jobs were really hard and had little money in them. Also impoverished, her sister and her brother-in-law developed a dislike to her. Dejectedly one day after leaving a note to her sister, she left, only to stroll on the streets when she met Druet. Without anywhere to go, she became Drouet’s mistress.

Leading a leisured life with the help of Drouet, she acquainted with Hurstwood, who was one of Drouet’s friends and a manager. He was only more attractive than Drouet. Carrier dated with Hurstwood, despite Drouet’s sincere wish to marry her. Later Drouet found out the affair and angrily left Carrier. From Drouet’s mouth Carrier knew Hurstwood was nobody but a married man, with a daughter and a son. At this time, Hurstwood’s wife also got wind of her husband’s infidelity and she determined to divorce Hurstwood.

Being hard pressed by his wife’s insistent desire to divorce, Hurstwood was in a worry since all of his property was under the name of his wife. Divorced he would have nothing to live on. One he happened to find the safe was not locked properly in the company. With hesitation he finally mistakably locked the safe with money in hand. He decided to escape with nearly 10,000 dollars to another place to make a living. He forced Carrier to go with him under some excuses. They went to Montreal, then to New York.

Reported widely in newspaper about his misdemeanor, he was afraid of being detected. He communicated with the company and returned about 9,000 dollars to it. With only about 1,000 dollars at hand he found life was becoming hard for them since the depression came and the job opportunities are rare. After nearly all the money was spent, they were threatened with starvation. During a strike Hurstwood found a job as a driver in a nearby city. However under so many threats and even body attack by the men on strike, he fled back with wounds, too much frightened. With no other means to resort to, Carrier decided to seek a job for herself as an actor. Fortune treated her so well that she made such a great success that she not only got money to sustain herself and even for an extravagant life, but also a bright prospect. Many people around her were obsequious and toady. She was nothing but a great success. In sharp contrast with her, Hurstwood became only a beggar. Having been suffering from a lot of setbacks and humiliations, he died in a shabby room.

At last Carrier was only wondering what blind strivings she was making to achieve more success.

This is the story. I was puzzled at several aspects of it.

1. Is it really a tradition in America that youngsters should leave home and never return to provide any help to the family in return, since throughout the novel Carrier’s parents were only mentioned at the very beginning? And this novel was based on THEODORE DREISER’s own sister, who ran off to New York with a married man.

2. Is the economic situation so poor in America in about 1900 when the novel was published?

3. Why was the novel rejected by several publishers as “immoral”, as obviously there were no obscene descrīptions in the novel, unlike such novels as “LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER” by THOMAS HARDY?

4. What was the writer intended to tell, the hardships of the people at that time, the wayward attitudes towards life of Carrier, or something just beyond me?

Whatever, I am happy to finish this one. I am ready now to go on reading the next one, “LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER”, which I have finished nearly half when I was reading “SISTER CARRIER”.

A NAUGHTY BOY

Today the son my of wife’s elder sister, came to my home for a visit, together with his mother. He is only 10 years old.

He has been acknowledged as the naughtiest boy. His grandparents-in-law don’t like him at all. I don’t like his being in my home either out of my experience. He will destroy everything available. We have to watch over him all the time in case he should commit any wrongdoing owing to the failure of our effective supervision. Even his own father and mother, are bored of him. Frequently they are so angry with his misconducts that they threaten to drive him away. I know his mother’s intention to come here to leave him to our care for some days. I am too reluctant to agree with my wife to accept him.

He is not morally degenerated in fact. He is only too naughty to remain quiet for one minute. He is always in high spirits and energetic. He looks on destruction of things within his reach the highest enjoyment in the world. He doesn’t take the least like to reading or studying. So his school academic achievements are only too poor to tell. Her parents are too much worried about him. For all in all, he is their son.

This afternoon they three kids went out to play outside after a carefully prepared lunch. After only a little while my son came back to report to me that he was having serious fight with a tall boy. I was so worried that I went to him instantly and only to find them fighting against each other in the street. I am so tired of his stay. However his mother left audaciously, leaving my wife and me worried and concerned.

The reasons for his development into such a state of disposition or character are various. The most important of all is his grandmother and his mother’s treatment when bring him up. He is too much pampered. “Spare the rod and spoil the child”, it is really correct. Even when he was still a toddler, his grandmother and mother refused any blame to him. Whatever he did was right. No accusations of any kind are permissible and therefore tolerated. At their time, their son was the best and perfect in the world. They took care of him with the most miraculously and meticulously care, unparalleled by any other tenders. However they reap what they sowed in the past. Both of them are suffering a lot from the misconducts of the boy.

The other reason is his parents’ wrong idea to cultivate the character of a little child. His father once said that he won’t accept forgiveness from others but he is always ready to ask for forgiveness from them. What a misconception he has had in mind! That meant that he would be winked at and shielded so long as he can beat others when any controversial disputes occur between his son and the other boys.

The third reason I have to state here is his nature which determines his behavīor and attitude toward others. Just like all children at the present age, he is egoistic, and intolerant of mistakes from others.

Whatever it is, the boy has developed into such a character that no one likes him. No one can foresee what kind of boy he is when he grows up. I wish he would change a little and return to the normal road of life.

Several words on religions

Notably there are four major religions in the world, namely they are: Christianity, Buddhism, Islam. Each religion has a lot of determined and staunch followers. Each one has a great influence on nearly everything and everyone in the world.

In history all religion stemmed from a concealed attempt to control the poor people, since obviously so few people in each country are literate. All those cultured and educated became the supporters of the regime. In order to prove their value in the eye of the rulers, they created religion to deceive the people into submission to their fate and wait only for the days of atonement to come. Look through any doctrines of religion and you will inevitably find that what we are supposed to do is admit, be obedient, or submit to any sufferings or hardships. Whatever attempts to revolt will incur greater reprisal. So, what are we, the subjects expected to do? One word to cover all, it is to “submit”. That is why in history all the people were submissive until they couldn’t stand up to the heavy burden any more and they rose to demand for their rights. All in all, to various rulers in different countries, they found that religion was the best tool to employ to enable them to fool and therefore to rule the people better. Needless to say, this is the negative impact of religion upon the development of the world.

“If someone slaps you on the right cheek, show him the other.” That is what is preached in Bible. I have read most of the Bible and I simply feel I am overawed by the intimidation of the merciless, omnipresent and omnipotent god, or I am simply intimidated. This decree can better exemplify what an action we should take in face of invasion.

“We have been born to suffer in the mundane world.” “It is only after a long suffering when we are alive that we can get atonement when we die.” Sheer nonsense. After death what will happen to us? Who knows? Buddhism has in the same way, created a life after death for us to wish for.

For Islam I know very little since I don’t know the language. However, I saw people who prayed with the Koran in hand for mercy in films and books. I found the scenes were ridiculously the same for every cornered man to beg uselessly.

The core of the religion is the same: only by submission to fate in this life can they get the atonement in the other world, whether there is such a world notwithstanding. There is no need for the rulers to submit to fate. Even if they are asked to, they would unconditionally do as required, to submit to a lifelong extravagant lifestyle and then die the same as their subjects. It is only the ruled who need to submit to the rule of the rulers. They are supposed to consecrate everything that they have access to to the rulers to satisfy their avaricious desires.

Nevertheless, except its “anesthetic” use to dumb the subjects, every religion has something active in the healing the people’s wounds, especially in the modern world. In Bible, for example, there are a lot of things that are noteworthy for their use, in mental therapy in particular. Whenever we have gnawing secrets in mind that is hardly possible to tell others, we may go to the church to speak out, as a release of our mental burden. What is more, people are told to forgive, to be friendly to others, to be tolerant, not to steal, not to be hostile to our neighbors, and not even to commit adultery, etc. I think these decrees are of special use to people.

So, like everything in the world, religions, have their both active and negative effects upon the people. What is the most important, in the modern world, religions’ use as a narcotic means to cheat us has been waning, and its use of mental comforts is growing. And that is just the reason why I like religion now.  

    Taiwan has been and will be part of China. It is an internal affair and should be setteled within China.
    There is no countries in the world that will grant one part of its  independence, especially large countries in the world.
    Disintegration will harm both sides of the party, and Russia is one example. Soviet Union is one of the two greatest powers in the world. However Russia is only no match for America.
    Strength or power of a country comes from unity and not from disintegration. China has been so bullied in its history because it was so weak and there was not a central government  powerful enough to keep it united as one. We were even called "The patient in Southeast Asia". No one gave us human rights at that time. In fact, all our diserved rights were so brutally rid of. No one, so long as he knows Chinese history, will not lament on the lives of the people who lived at that time.  Who cared for us then? Who gave us the basic human rights even. The foreigners in China would kill anyone that they thought to be in their way. However now they have come to China to demand human rights for us. 

    I want human rights. But I don't think a disintegrated China can provide us with them. We want a properous, stable, powerful united country!!!
    This is my personal view. There is nothing like brainwashing that makes me say so.

         Shame on you, the wealthy tourists!

China is so large a country with an admirable long history. Legacy in culture and customs, which has been created and developed during the five thousand years, has left people all over the world so much to learn. All Chinese have been credited with elegance, grace, faith, hospitality, friendship, and all other virtues. I also have faith in my fellow countrymen that they can keep a good behavīor at least in front of westerners.

Nevertheless, such is only a fancy in my mind now. From various sources I know that a lot of Chinese tourists are despised by their bad manners in foreign countries. It is not important for us who are so poor as to have to stay at home, and most probably having to chances to go abroad in this life. But for those who are wealthy or influential in various strata of the society, I think it is better for them to mind their behavīor in case they should put shame to their motherland. I am only too curious that all those wealthy or influential ones, who are so supercilious, complacent, vain, and more often than not, look down upon their brothers and sisters within the country, should bear such matters that all of us at home feel so ashamed of them.

When they are visiting any places in other countries, they will shout in public, for fear of not being noticed of their importance. They will throw rubbish carelessly about as if they were in their own kingdoms. They will not obey what is obviously not allowed to do according to the rules and regulations as if they were only base and unruly animals. They will damage the beautiful sceneries at random as if they were belongs of their own. They will throw dirty food at the animals at zoos as if they can execute the last measure to treat them. They will eat up all that is provided in a hotel for free, and some of them even carry it away for their future possible own use, and the manager has to separate Chinese from all tourists from other countries to make sure they have enough to eat. Alas! Do you want me to give more examples? Are all that I have listed above not adequate to show your bad behavīor? Some foreign friends commented that the Chinese tourists are not ever as good mannered as those youngsters in their own country.

I am a Chinese, and I like China. China is a great country, and most of the people are friendly, diligent, hardworking, patient, hospital, tolerant, well-cultured, well-educated, responsible, faithful, good-mannered, etc and etc. Why should her name be sullied by several gangsters? I think all those tourists should be put to the court for trial for their misdoings committed in other countries? They are only not eligible to be our fellow countrymen, only fucked animals.

All those who can go abroad, should be regarded as members of the elite in Chinese society and be respected. However, you have won for your country such a reputation, how can you expect respect and dignity from others? What you win for yourselves in return is only distain and condemnation. In a way, you are only sinners against your own country.

No one has the right to require you to be exact in every demeanor or bearing, and do everything adequate in accordance with the standards of the country you are visiting. But at least, you should not be so despised by what you do and therefore let your country and your fellow countrymen be despised.

Though I am not in such a position, but still I want to warn those who wish to tour other countries: Respect others and respect yourselves, and don’t let your own country be shamed of you.

Last but not the least, the present education should pay some for the ill-mannered citizens. We have put unduly too much attention to the academic achievements of our students, just ignoring their moral education, and even the basic ways of living as a man in the world. What a tragedy it is!

Today is really a special day for nearly all Chinese, whether they are at home or abroad notwithstanding.

I watched TV until after midnight last night. The programs on TV this specially designed for the eve of the Spring Festival are not as interesting as we expected, although it is admitted by all that it is hard for designers to have met the demands of so many people with different social background, different tastes, and what is more, different education. However, with nothing at hand to do, I have made do with them. What impressed me most among the programs is still the short play acted out by Zhao Benshan, the most prominent short play actor in China. Every word uttered from his mouth seems to be beads with so much humor and intelligence, which have been inspiring me. What is more, I think a lot of Chinese, like me, have been edified by his acting. Zhou Jielun, the most outstanding singer who has been winning the hearts of all youngster at present, didn’t receive as much attention and applause as the young people expected.

At midnight, when the toll for the new year was hit and sent vibrations through to every Chinese, home or abroad, as a sign of the ushered-in of the new and saying goodbye to the past. Everyone stood up and cheered, what ensued was a lot of fireworks outside, which made a lot of noise. After that I went to bed and had a sound sleep until about 10 on the morning next day, interrupted by continual outbursts of fireworks by some fervent adorers of the festival.

Thanks to the rapid development of the economy in China, our life has changed a lot for the better over the past years. Seldom is there anyone who is on the brink of starvation. The main concern of ours lies in the bettering our living standards. I have bought a lot of things in preparing for the festival. So we, my wife, my son and I, simply stay at home and enjoy the tasty dinner and the fireworks and the TV programs.

Unlike what we were when we were young, though we were so poor, things have become so different. At that time everyone longed for the festival to come and then we could have a taste of something we seldom met at table, and could play with fireworks, which was such a luxury for children then. Now we have plenty to enjoy but we lose the interest in it. What a weird thing it is!

As far as I am concerned, I think however important the Spring Festival to everyone in China is, it is only a common one, with nothing extraordinary but an increase of drunken pedestrians or drivers on the road. I have never attached any importance to it since I have grown up and bettered my living conditions.

It is said that all astronauts back from the space suffer from some kind of mental disorder. They either take to drugs to relieve their anxiety, or free themselves from the deep despair in the insignificance of our human beings on the earth.

Tonight all the astronauts, chiefly Yang Liwei, Nie Hailong and other members, came up on CCTV, to accept the respect of all Chinese. From their appearance I couldn’t discern any signs of despair or depression. When they were accepting bundles of flowers from the students they gave their warm smiles and thanked them. Perhaps they are very healthy both physically and mentally, or they just didn’t want to show people the weakness in their character.

Watching TV, I imagined what a scene it would be if I would be sent into the universe. Everything around me would be as dark as could be. I would peep through the window and look far deep into the darkness, however with nothing to be seen it would be. Looking at the direction of the earth, I would be musing over what a tiny size the earth itself was. At the very moment all the ideology and philosophy of life would be shattered. The idea, the same as what has been preached in Bible that all life is meaningless would come to me. I can only imagine. But certainly attitudes towards a lot of things would take a drastic turn in the astronauts’ life.

Que sara sara---what would be would be. We can only stay on the plant for such a short time. No use to think of too much more than due. Just stick to the present life style and try to seek pleasure from the common daily life is the best way of life I think.

Today is the last day of 2007 in accordance with the lunar calendar. Outside are fireworks cracking and resounding. Inside is me sitting in front of the computer and writing my article.

All that is happening outside seems just to be irrelevant to me. I stick to my privacy and enjoy the tranquility and serenity. My heart is at ease and my mind is keeping a good composure if itself.

For a whole day I have been busy cleaning my home, which renders me so exhausted. Tomorrow all of us will be expected to greet each other according to the spectacular Chinese custom. I am reluctant to greet anyone so formally. What is the worst, we are expected to get down on our knees or kowtow in front of our relatives or any senior and respectable ones. However I have to obey the rules since I am a social prisoner.

For today and tomorrow we are not expected to say any bad words against anybody, including ourselves, which is also a strict rule expected to be abided by.

I am not in my hometown, so it can save me a lot of trouble. I needn’t kowtow. I am just feeling so much happy about that.

For a whole day my son has been playing with fireworks outside and even forgets his meals. From time to time I have to call him to be back since I am very much concerned about his safety.

Whatever, it is the beginning of a new year. I am happy to listen to the fireworks and know that they are enjoying the Spring Festival.

At midnight tomorrow it will toll for the beginning of another year, in accordance with the lunar calendar. An old year will have passed by and will usher in a new one. Year in and year old, the river of time flows away.

This morning when I got up, I found everywhere as white as can be out of amazement. The snow flakes were still fluttering down. How I enjoyed the snow, as if a long lost friend who had come afresh from somewhere as a shelter. However it is reported that people in the south have been suffering from heavy snow storm, water pipe frozen, electricity cut off, all living conveniences lost. We have donated some money to the people living there, mostly from Jiangsu and Hunan, to support them in their fight for the unexpected sufferings and difficulties. It is absolutely abnormal for such things as a heavy snow storm to occur in the south. It is sad that human negative impact upon nature has bore such bitter fruit. Though I am an only ordinary citizen in China, I think every one of us should shoulder some responsibilities for the well beings of the generations to come. Temporary economical flourishing may very well endanger the living environment and cause a lot of problems for the present and the coming generations. We don’t live on earth one day and will depart once and for all.

Thinking of this, I have mingled feelings about the snow outside. My son, however, still unable to comprehend all these things, is beside himself with joy at the beautiful scene. At once, he demands to go outside to play. It is because of my patient remonstrance that he agrees to go after breakfast, though with great reluctance, as indicated by his pursed lips. After breakfast he swiftly goes out with some fireworks.

All in all, I am so happy to know another year is forthcoming.

One of my friends from the same hometown of mine invited me to go home with him, since he has a car. I declined his offer, as I had just come back from home. What is more, he is the only son of his family, so he can return and enjoy the reunion of a big family. What he said sent some pathos to me. He proclaimed that his mother had prepared all the dishes for him for the Spring Festival. However I have no one to care for me and do something for me.

Both of my parents have passed away, leaving only two heaps of soil for me to see on the earth. Whenever the Spring Festival comes, I will feel a touch of sentimentality within me. Now I have been left alone in the world. Three of my family members have been underground, my parents and my little sister, who died so young and died simply a suicidal death. My sister’s death is a wound in my heart that has not been healed by time. Tears run down my cheeks whenever it comes into my mind.

Whatever it is, we can but have one life to live in the world. So I will live every day as if it was my last day. Whatever may happen, I will stick to life until one I will be forced to leave the world, for ever.

Life is simply so beautiful for us to treasure and cherish. Whatever it is, there is no reason for us to terminate this life. We are passengers. One day or another, our trip will come to an end, and we will have to depart from the car we have been on for the life.

To those in heaven I give my sad but the most sincere and faithful blessings. To those who are still living happily in the world I will spare no efforts to make them live each day as happily as ever. I don’t know if it is the right way of life. However it is the idealistic way of life in my view.

Today I went back home to see my grandfather who is 90 years old.

Last year he was still able to do take care of himself. He could cook meals, carry water with a little bucket, look after the chores at home, and even try to help others when it was possible. Once when I got home and saw him carrying water, I offered to help him. He declined my offer. He persisted in doing it by himself, in his words, to do exercise.   

This year things have become totally different. On entering the room I found the vast difference. He was unable to stand up, just sitting there all day long, taking naps all the time. Reluctant to submit to fate, sometimes he made efforts to move his leg a little. He couldn’t recognize anyone even standing right in front of him, because he was simply dumb and his eyes just couldn’t see much. It was so tough a task for my uncle to take care of him at home, since he is tall and heavy.

Looking at my grandfather who had lost his youth and at the yoke of the old age, I didn’t know what to say. Life became so cruel a fact to me. Time could bring us down and make us bend on our knees. Whatever a man was full of strength and spirits, years after he would be simply incapacitated. I didn’t know to which day my grandfather’s life might extend. I felt just so sad that my grandfather was so powerless made so by years. And I knew one day or another, such a day was waiting for me.

Monica advised me not to compare China with African countries. In her eyes, African people are primitive. It may sound somewhat bitter a remark against the whole people on the continent. However I have to admit that to be true.

Let me take an example. The people who belong to different tribes in one country will each other indiscriminately. The son who has been trained by different mobs will kill his father coldly and indifferently even if he may plead with him in the most sympathetic way. That is what I read from a documentary about Africa. During the colonial period, the head of a tribe fought each other at the instigation of western countries, which had evil purposes. They would sell their captives, who turned to be slaves and were sold again to North America, to the foreign invaders in exchange for money or weapons. What a tragic thing it is. Though there might be internal strife, they belonged to one country. Things would not have happen if they had followed by the Chinese concept: “However bitterly the brothers may quarrel at home, they will join up against foreign invaders.” I was too much stunned at the happenings and the thought swiftly surged in my mind that they were nothing but barbaric animals.

Of course not all people in all countries on Africa may commit such atrocities. However very seldom will such things happen on other continent. Let’s take the Indians on North America for example. They were at first very kind to the white invaders. They gave the invaders maze and corn, and even taught them how to grow crops. It was only later for the sake of industrial development that the white invaders treacherously drove them western ward, causing a lot of casualties. Consequently the term “The road of tears and blood” came into being, which best represented what a deplorable situation the Indians, who had been native inhabitants on North America, had been plunged into.

I am happy to learn that Africa is developing very quickly and China has contributed a lot to it. Nevertheless, the way to modern civilization is still very long. During November this year when I was in Jinan for a psychological training, I made friends with several African scholars and students. They were also being trained there. From their mouth I had all that I read from the documentary verified. I was so sad about that.

We were taught that African countries and China both belong to the Third World, and therefore there shouldn’t be any prejudice or discrimination against them. However I abhor the savage acts that have been conducted by them.

I think no matter in which country we may live in, we should respect ourselves first and then we may look forward to being respected by others.

After several days it will be Spring Festival. Perhaps it really goes as what a famous poet put it: “You miss your relatives more during festivals.” Spring Festival is the most important festival in China. It is a time of reunion. All family members, no matter where they work, will come home to enjoy the get-together.

However things are quite different now. When I was young, the life is hard, especially financially. Most of the families were poor and they just couldn’t afford to enjoy luxuries of any form. But we felt content with only good meals, some fireworks, and playing games with our playmates. We enjoyed ourselves so much. The snow was heavier then. Sometimes we did nothing but roam in the fields for a whole day, only to be scolded by our parents. It was so chilly but we simply enjoyed ourselves so much.

Most of my intimate playmates have found jobs in the city. They are living a more comfortable life than I do. They have cars. But we seldom get together now. Perhaps we are too busy with our work. Some of them are even reluctant to go back home. It is not actually because we give no thought to the relatives, but we are simply too lazy.

Time flies. Now we are approximately in our middle ages. Sometimes when I am alone I am reminiscent of the days past and try to figure out how many days left to me. “Don’t stay idle until your hair becomes gray and what you can do then is only to moan for the past days.” As Yue Fei, one of the prominent patriots and military commander, put it in his Manjianghong.