TO KATHY

    New Roman" color=#ff0000 size=4>Really I missed  what the center of the argument  was between Monica and ray until Monica has told me. What I have done is trying to make them reconciled. I don't know what kind of person Ray is, his age, character, education, or even his work, which will have a great influence on his thinking. I don't think  you involve too much in this issue.
    Monica told me that the center of their discussion is "Should a Chinese person feel ashamed to complain and talk about problems in China at front of us? Has Kathy's question to Nina ashamed your country or not ?" I said sorry to her and gave her the definite answer"no". I think what Monica told me was helpful to me to give an answer.
The hot argument, is between Monica, from Zea Zealand and Ray , from China. I don't think it is right for us to take this side or that. Maybe you are too upright to choose the side but I don't want to.

    As to the leader's attitude toward me, I am feeling ashamed of myself. It was a CYLON on Psychological Training held by the teaching committee. I was chosen to give the speech and I proclaimed boldly in the eyes of the leaders that the teachers and students had been under too much pressure and heavy workload, which proved to be unbearable for them. I had been expected to say something to encourage the teachers to work harder, but I failed. I didn't give the speech according to what I had been expected to do. So one of the leaders present said I was incapable to know what my mission was and THEREFORE I was not qualified teacher in a sense. In their eyes, I should have complied with their order. What was more, my speech aroused a lot applause among all the common teachers. You claimed that you were regarded as one of the best staff in your school. I admire you. If I want to, I can easily get such an worthless reward if I simply do anything as what told to do, or simply lick others's boots, or kiss their asses.

    You, like me, don't know where the question is. I have done several articles on the present education system in China, and I have reiterated several times that I am a victim of it. Looking through my articles you will find them. I have never looked on it as a political issue, otherwise I woundn't have given such a speech at the cyclone. I have done more than you in this respect. Ray and Monica have gone too far in the argument.

    I have been to Jinan for ten days on a Psychological training programme, as the representive of my school. The professors also criticized the education system bitterly. One of the professors admitted that they could criticize in that way, while we just couldn't. He moved me so much by his honesty. He said that there were a lot of problems in the fundamental level of Chinese education. He sadly told us that we were not Juses Christ. We had no power to redress the wrongdoings. So, in colleges it is comparatively liberal for you to give the opinions, but at middle schools, we are forbidden to do so. If you don't think so, tell you sister, who works from 5 in the morning to 10 at night, to make a protest, or you may tell others of  your family members, who are respectfully teachers.

    There is a very strict rule established by the local teaching committee that we are not supposed to say anything unfavourable with the present political trends, as they put it, not even to utter grievances or complaints about anything, otherwise we will be punished in one way or the other. I don't want to be a martyr, to make useless sacrifices at the cost of my family livehood. I have been a martyr at the cylone.

    I can understand what Monica feels about us. But I can't understand your attitude towards political issues. Seems that you are from abroad too.

    Needless to say that my students all think I am a good teacher for reasons I have said repeatedly. My attitudes towards my students has annoyed my leaders. I have suffered a lot for that. However I persist till now. You said you have been teaching in a middle school. But from your words I can't discern them. Sounds that the change of your teaching environment has made tremendous changes on you if what you said is true.

    You are a good teacher, however. I have seen your students words to you.