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I don’t like Spring Festival

2012-01-23 21:54:38 / 个人分类:talk with the heaven

New Roman">                          I don’t like Spring Festival

I know nearly all the people like Spring Festival, however frankly I don’t like it.

It is a time of reunion, a vacation for all the family members to get together. I feel that I am deserted, forlorn, whenever such a moment comes to me. I should show my gratitude for my wife and my son, for they give me a sense of belonging, give me a shelter to shelter myself from that unbearable agony.

I am always shy to tell others when they inquire into the date to go back home, because I never go back home, or to say more exactly, I don’t have a home to go to now, except for my present one.

Just before the Spring Festival this year, I went back home to give some money away to my relatives at home, mainly my uncles and my aunts, although they gave me nothing when I was in poverty and in dire need of their help. I bought some clothes for my sister every year, since I have only her to be concerned about in my hometown. At her home I happened to find a prescrīption of hers. There were names of some medicine on it to show that she is still under the torment of mental depression. I felt greatly agonized in my heart. I left her home with a heavy heart. I have been anxious about her illness. I am afraid of her turning into great mental depression, just like my mother once did. I pray to God that nothing serious would happen to her, just let us live peacefully this life. I still remember that she came to me, mentally unhealthy and I had to carry her to every hospital nearby to be diagnosed. I was too terrified to think that she might fall into mental depression. But the fact is that she was in that state of mind. I don’t care how much I have spent on my niece and my brother-in-law any more. So long as they can treat my sister well, I won’t care anything else.

When I came back and resided in my own home again, I didn’t feel that I like Spring Festival. I wish to live like others, to have a place to go to, and parents to say anything to. Sometime I liked to call back to my mind the time when my mother was still living. Even though she was mentally ill, I have a place to go to. But now, I have nowhere, and I am left homeless in this sense.

What is more, I don’t like being in others’ home. Although my relatives at home asked to go to their home to spend the Spring Festival with them, I just can’t feel a sense of belonging in their home. I feel that it is not better in my friend’s home.

When the fireworks cracked noisily outside, I was exhausting myself by doing housework, to busy my mind with it and therefore to leave it no chance to misthink.

Occasionally I was even reduced to tears when I was alone. It is a time of reunion and happiness and this I know very clearly. I want to tell all those whose parents are healthy, it is just so good an opportunity to take your parents now. You would be rendered helpless after their departure, so take care of them now.

I don’t like Spring Festival.




TAG: like Spring Festival

mist_dream 删除 mist_dream 发布于2013-03-10 15:19:05
Every year, spring festival should be expected by most of us... but not to all, well you are one of them. Be strong, and I think you are strong always... All the best for you, dear friend.
删除 chenyi056 发布于2012-03-28 09:12:56 评5分
I think the Spring Festival belongs only to those careless children, I did't yearn for this festival any more after I was not so unenlightened. Sorry for your mother's death,  I'll treasure immediate everything, good luck !
Maggie Locke 的个人空间 删除 Never2 发布于2012-02-29 14:01:28
HEELO, I READ YOUR DIARY AND KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, ANYWHERE, NO  MATTER WAHT HAPPENED TO US, WE NEED MAKE LIFE CONTINUE, EVEN I CAN'T PROMISE THAT FOR MYSELF, I HOPE YOU CAN. COME ON!
caomo的个人空间 删除 caomo 发布于2012-02-26 15:21:17
I can understand your feelings.Home is different from house.I hope you can be brave to face up to the life.I believe all is going well~~
删除 Damon_zhou 发布于2012-02-07 10:26:08 评5分
If you are confident of the life ,
the life is confident of you as well!
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