My friend S's dilemma

New Roman" size=4>I chatted with S, one of my closet girl friend since high school time on the phone today . It seems that she is  very confused about things  going around her.

She has actually returned from Tokyo a few month ago to live with her B.F.who is currently working and living in Shenzhen.

She and her B.F. were class mate in colledge and have been together for a very long time .They have been through all the good times and bad times together since they decided to come to this somewhat strange southern city then together to look for a better deal. And through several years of hard work and efforts, they  bought their own house and car in the city and had been living a quite stable life.

She used to be so happy everytime i chatted with her , i could tell that she was so much in love with her B.F. at that time . But all these were  about to change when an opportunity presented itself to her in  Tokyo. She is one of those people who have rare talents and strong skills at work. as far as i know , her B.F.is no match for her in that regard. (But he is very consistant at what he does while she is always seeking for new challenges. ) she has been given various opportunities by company's top management to put her skills to full use and this time they wanted  her to be transferred to Tokyo office for more challenges.

She wanted to go and of course he opposed . however, she had her way in the end like she always did.

During her stay in Tokyo, they flew back and forth between Tokyo and Shenzhen in order to see each other. but i guess it was still pretty difficult for them to manage their relationship. So, she quit her job just before 3 years and flew back to where she can unite with her B.F.

Of course , we chatted often while she was overseas and i can tell that she was very lonely all the time and she was at times under kind of pressure from her parents and his parents on their marriage .

She may appear very strong at work but she is actually quite innocent and pure person when it comes to relationship. She loves him although he is not as much capable as she is but she thinks that  he is the only one who truely cares about her and knows her deeply . She just simply rejects all the opportunities to meet and get to know some fun and handsome guys . 

Now , the problem is really occured after her return,  when she was trying to find a job in the local market and going out for shopping . She suddendly found that everything she was once familiar with in the city is so different from where she just came back from . if i havent said this yet , let me tell you , she is a workoholic , she is the kind of person who are unable to  stay in house even for a few days , she always needs to do something in order to get a sense that she hasnt wasted her precioius time.

So far, She has gone  out for a few interviews but barely come across one that she really feels  for it. Shs is even thinking to go back to Tokyo.She told me that she couldn't  find the same excitements that she had experienced outside  here. not anymore...... 

I told her to go back to where she really belongs. but then she asked me what about my B.F.? .... i dont think i will come across anyone like him  again in my life if i let him go. i dont want to lose him ...... and I am not young anymore , i want to have my own child too. Look at Karen, she acts as if she is the happiest person on the earth after her giving birth to her son....

She asked me what i would be doing if i was in her shoes .

I said i dont know. May be life is a trade-off , you cant have it all your way.......

But i always believe one should never over-compare yourself with others as opposed to within necessary boundary. Some people are so obsessed with comparison and try to make comparisons in every aspects with others to prove that they are better off than others. I  think in this way, they are just trying to make themselves  an other Karen or Daren , or whatever that its NOT themselves. 

I will probably call S tomorrow to tell her to do something that she really wants to do. If your boyfriend does not agree with you,then leave him. Actually, being single (no children) is not a bad idea as it may seem.............