I am big big girl, in a big big world......
  • A Little Piece of Me

    2008-04-21 17:01:46

    When he told me he was leaving I felt like a vase which has just smashed. There were pieces of me all over the tidy, tan tiles. He kept talking, telling me why he was leaving, explaining it was for the best, I could do better, it was his fault and not mine. I had heard it before many times and yet somehow was still not immune; perhaps one did not become immune to such felony.

    He left and I tried to get on with my life. I filled the kettle and put it on to boil, I took out my old red mug and filled it with coffee watching as each coffee granule slipped in to the bone china. That was what my life had been like, endless omissions of coffee granules, somehow never managing to make that cup of coffee.

    Somehow when the kettle piped its finishing warning I pretended not to hear it. That‘s what Mike‘s leaving had been like, sudden and with an awful finality. I would rather just wallow in uncertainty than have things finished. I laughed at myself. Imagine getting all philosophical and sentimental about a mug of coffee. I must be getting old.

    And yet it was a young woman who stared back at me from the mirror. A young woman full of promise and hope, a young woman with bright eyes and full lips just waiting to take on the world. I never loved Mike anyway. Besides there are more important things. More important than love, I insist to myself firmly. The lid goes back on the coffee just like closure on the whole Mike experience.

    He doesn‘t haunt my dreams as I feared that night. Instead I am flying far across fields and woods, looking down on those below me. Suddenly I fall to the ground and it is only when I wake up that I realize I was shot by a hunter, brought down by the burden of not the bullet but the soul of the man who shot it. I realize later, with some degree of understanding, that Mike was the hunter holding me down and I am the bird that longs to fly. The next night my dream is similar to the previous nights, but without the hunter. I fly free until I meet another bird who flies with me in perfect harmony. I realize with some relief that there is a bird out there for me, there is another person, not necessarily a lover perhaps just a friend, but there is someone out there who is my soul mate. I think about being a broken vase again and realize that I have glued myself back together, what Mike has is merely a little part of my time in earth, a little understanding of my physical being. He has only, a little piece of me.

    当他告诉我他要离开的时候,我感觉自己就像花瓶裂成了碎片,跌落在茶色瓷砖地板上。他一直在说话,解释着为什么要离开,说什么这是最好的,我可以做得更好,都是他的错,与我无关。虽然这些话我已经听上好几千遍了,可每次听完都让我很受伤,或许在这样巨大的打击面前没有人能做到无动于衷。

    他走了,我尝试着继续过自己的生活。我烧开水,拿出红色杯子,看着咖啡粉末一点点地落入骨灰瓷的杯子里。这正是我自己的鲜活写照,不断地往下掉咖啡粉末,却从来没有真正地泡成一杯咖啡。

    水开了,水壶发出警报声,我假装没有听见。迈克的离去也是一样,突如其来,并且无可挽回。要知道,我宁愿忍受分与不分的煎熬,也不愿意以这样的方式被宣判“死刑”。想着想着我就哑然失笑,自己竟然为一杯咖啡有如此多的人生感怀,我自己一定是老了。

    可是镜子里回瞪着我的那个女孩还是那么年轻啊!明目皓齿,充满了前途与希望,光明的未来在向她招手。没关系的,反正我也从来没有爱过迈克。何况,生命中还有比爱更重要的东西在等待着我,我对自己坚持说。我将咖啡罐的盖子盖好,也将所有关于迈克的记忆尘封起来。

    那天晚上,出乎意料的是,他并没有入到我的梦中。在梦里,我飞过田野和森林,俯瞰着大地。突然间,我掉了下来……醒来后才发现原来自己被猎人打中了,但是令我坠落的不是他的子弹,而是他的灵魂。我后来才渐渐明白,原来迈克就是那个使我坠落的猎人,而我是那只渴望飞翔的小鸟。到了第二天晚上,我仍然做了类似的梦,但是猎人不见了,我一直在自由地飞翔,直到遇上另外一只小鸟和我比翼双飞。我开始意识到,总有那么一只鸟,那么一个人在前面等我,这个人可能是我的爱人,可能只是朋友,但一定是知我懂我的人,这令我感觉如释重负。我想起曾经觉得自己像花瓶一样裂开了,才意识到原来自己已经把自己修理好了。迈克只是我生命过程中的小小过客,他仅仅了解我的表面,他仅仅是我生命中的小小一部分。

  • Little things

    2008-04-21 10:50:36

    The days went quickly by.

     

    Today is April 21. Tomorrow is a pay day. I am a little sad at this moment. I don’t know how to express my feeling. Maybe everyone will be happy and wait for the pay day. However, I really don’t want to face that sad fact. I was too disappointed to work during that day.

     

    The day before yesterday, an incident had happened on the bus. One of my roommates’ new mobile phone was stole. In fact, she knew who the thief was. Surely, the thief didn’t admit his crime. She wanted to borrow someone’s mobile phone to call and looked for her mobile phone. Unfortunately, no one would like to lend it in order to avoid some troubles. After that, fully satisfied, the thief said, “if you insist in your point, I will speak clearly with you.” The poor girl had no idea because she was alone. Then she saw the thief got off before the bus began to move. How sad she was! I wonder if the world is becoming colder and colder……

     

    After a few days, one of my roommates will go and never come back for she has resigned. Frankly speaking, I wouldn't be parted from anyone who lives at 204. All of people are kind in my heart. We get on very well together. We often share something with everyone. We often chat and play with each other. It’s a big family full of happiness, laughter and peace. I love my family and my roommates.

  • It was raining

    2008-04-19 14:15:29

    Today is Saturday and I still work at office as usual. I didn’t know it was raining until I went out and for my lunch.

     

    In fact, I prefer sunny days to rainy days. The bad weather was getting me down. However, I’d like to stand out in the thin rain.

     

    It was said it’s go to rain heavily tomorrow. One of my roommates suggests us to play cards tomorrow. It’s not interesting to me. I don’t know that from A to Z. It’s hard to me to learn cards. I think I would just as soon read as play chess instead of cards.

     

    What can I do tomorrow? Maybe I will stay at dorm, listen my music, read my novels, go for a walk, chat with my roommates, and clean my room. Oh, tomorrow will pass like this, I think.

     

  • My travelling plan

    2008-04-17 15:28:05

    Think it over, it is a year since I have graduate from college. During that time, I only stayed at home for one day and then I came to this city. I miss my parents because of I haven’t seen my parents for ages. I am ready to come back during the summer holiday.

     

    It’s really hot in summer at my hometown.  I think I have no idea what I can do except to visit my parents when I come back. Last night, I had a sudden whim to take a holiday with my parents. It’s a good idea, I think. However, I wonder if my parents will support my idea. Certainly, they like traveling very much. I am afraid that they don’t want to spend money for traveling. They know it’s not easy to me to save  money.

     

    As far as we know, mount Lushan is a charming summer resort. So, I’d like to visit mount Lushan with my parents this summer. At the same time, I will take off from work for a few days.

     

    I hope the scheme will be carried into action. It’s not for me but for my parents. They worked all their lives for us. Yeah, It’s time to return their love.

     

    Come on, baby!  I must save money for my travelling!

  • When the wind blows

    2008-04-11 16:11:25

    There’s a boy who is deeply in love with her girlfriend. She is everything to him. The boy always buys something for breakfast for girl. Then, he will go to wake her up when he has got everything ready.

     

    The girl basked in the love of her boyfriend.

     

    But not for long, the boy had gotten into an accident as he walked too quickly. As matter of fact, he was afraid that his girlfriend would be late for work. Finally, he was saved but lost one of his arms.What a pity!

     

    The girl was very sad when she heart of that bad news.And she came to see him in hospital with her roses.After that, she never went back to see him while she knew that her boyfriend had lost his arm.

     

    It’s a sad story. Why? Why is the girl so selfish? Will her conscience does the work? Why is the life so tough? Is love still so fragile? There are a lot of questions in my heart. I still can’t understand it.

     

    I hope and believe that there’s a true love in the world.I know it’s hard to find, but I still open my heart to face this world.I believe I can find it one day. Centainly, I will love him with my entire have.

    I will ask him, “When the wind blows, will you hold my hand?”If one day, he ratted on me,I will leave him without my tears.

     

    I believe, somebody is waiting for me next station. He will hold my hand all his life, whenever comes, our heart will go on. I hope it's not only a fairy tale.

  • Touching

    2008-04-10 16:21:22

    It is growing hotter and hotter. After my dinner, I lay down on my bed but I was not asleep. Then, I turned on the radio to listen music. What a familiar melody! the song put me in mind of a teleplay namedDa Cuo Che”, which is very moving and heart-warming.

     

    There was a kind man and he worked in a small company which collects discarded material. He wasn’t married because of he was a deaf-mute. One day, one of his friends introduced a beautiful girl to him, and not long after, they got married. It was really a surprise to the man. But then, he knew that she was pregnant before they got married. In spite of that, he still kind to her. When his mother and sister heard of this news, they were sad and angry. During that time, the baby was born. The man's mother was died as she can’t receipt the fact. A few days later, they divorced each other.

     

    His ex-wife rented a small house and started to work. The man dutifully visited her and little baby. When he knew that she was going to American for her study, he wanted to adopt her daughter. Surely, his ex-wife refused his help. In fact, she was self-condemned. At last, her old brother kept her baby.

     

    However, something quite unforeseen had happened in her brother’s family. Thus, the man started to keep the baby. From then on, they lived a poor but happy life; they were completely bound to each other.

     

    When little girl was 18 years old, her mother came back from America. Everything had changed except his love. the man loves his daughter more than himself, forever. Whenever she goes, whenever she does, he knows that she is the apple of his eyes. He gave all he had.

     

    I don’t know if it’s a true story, it’s not important to me. However, the story makes us thinking about affection and we learn much from the man’s personality, at least, we can see that there is a great love from father which is not related by blood.
  • The Selfless Love

    2008-04-09 16:56:17

    My mother is an illiterate. Even though she always get along with our neighbors,but we used to quarrel a lot when I was young.  Frankly speaking, I didn’t like her before. When I made the mistake, she always bawled out abuse. I know she hate me because of I am not her natural daughter. But I did not understand why she would want to adopt me because she already had three sons and one daughter.

    It’s a riddle about me.

     

    Several years later, I left my hometown and studied at country town. My mother never visited me when I was in high school. However, she would buy a lot of food which I like to eat for me when I came back. However, I didn’t move. I still thought we live in different worlds.

     

    It was a sunny Saturday. I went home as usual. When I arrived at home, my parents were about to have supper. Then, I started to wash my hands and went to dining room. Suddenly, my mother squatted herself down and cleaned my shoes. “Look, you just like a baby. Do you know how to take care of yourself? How old you are, you are seventeen!” she said. For a brief moment, I can’t say anything. I only felt my mother loves me deeply, always......

     

    From then on, I completely changed my mind. I started to accept this special love which from my mother. I know I almost miss it for 17 years. How stupid I was!! I was so guilt and regret since I did hurt to my mother. But my mother didn’t mind. She once said, “You are my kids, my proud, and the best gift from God. I’m satisfied.”

     

    At moment, I still work but my mind is flying. I miss my mother very much. I wonder if she is ok and I am itching to hear her voice. Mom, you have your special place in my heart. I promise I will cherish you very so much. And let you and dad live a good life.

     

    My dear mum, I know you speak your love unselfishly, by giving all you can. What I can say, what I can do. I only want to say, mum, you are everything to me. I will try my best to do what you will. Thank you for everything, Mama.
  • My Life

    2008-04-08 14:52:39

    It’s a nice day! Today, I get up early than before. Standing in the top of floor and seeing the sun rises in the east, I don’t know how I can express my feeling. I only felt everything was quiet, mysterious, beautiful and pure……

     

    About 7 O’clock, It was a little hot. Then I closed my book and sat down to my breakfast. Oh, the summer is coming, I think.

     

    Most people like the summer, but as for me, I like winter much better. The sunshine is so strong that I don’t like to going out and do exercise. I hate sweat. What’s more, there are lots of mosquitoes in summer and they often kiss me at night. Then, I can’t sleep all the night.

     

    Just now, my sister sent some pictures to me. Those pictures were taken in Tomb-Sweeping Day. We were so happy that day. I smiled in photographs and the wind tumbled my hair. Think it over, it seems I have gained weight but I wonder whether I should go on a diet or I can't wear my beautiful skirts. However, I don’t want to miss my snacks. You know, I like chocolate, ice cream and most of fruit. I have a sweet tooth. Never mind!I do my exercises everyday.

    After all,health and happiness are more important than others.

     

    In fact, I was thin when I was growing up. Since I studied at college, I just started to put on weight year by year. Certainly, I never complain about myself.

     

    If you asked me, "how about you life?" I will reply like this," It's simple,substantial,calm,regular and alternated between happiness and depression.

     

     

  • Tomb Sweeping Day is Coming

    2008-04-03 14:33:17

    Tomorrow is a Tomb Sweeping Day. It means I have two days for myself. What a good news!

    As far as we know, the Ching Ming Festival in spring is occasionsfor visiting ancestral graves.Nowadays,I just left my hometown and work in other city.Last night,there was a program about the Ching Ming Festival. I was moved when I heard this program.

    As an office worker, I don't feel very lucky or badly. Although my work is leisure, I only get a low salary every month. What's more, I must work from monday to saturday except on sunday.

    When is the weather going to pick up, it's been bad for days. I stayed in dorm and washed a lot of clothes and shoes last sunday. But now, all my suits are wet, I don't have anything to wear. I only wear uniforms to visit my sister.I have no choice, I think.

    I hope it clears up tomorrow.Thus, we can go shoping, climb mountain and play badminton.

  • All about me

    2008-04-02 12:11:19

    Long, long ago, there was a princess in the heaven who wants to come to the earth. One day, she asked god, Dear god, could you give me a hand? ”

    “I know what your thinking is, “the god interrupted her words, and then, he said, “my kid, the people’s life in earth not always sweet, are you keep your mind?” The princess smiled and said, “Yes, I know. And I promise, I will never regret.” the god nod, ‘Ok, I won’t let you down.”

           So, there is a new baby, who came to the earth in May, 1987. It’s me!

     I am a Chinese girl!

          My name is Zou Minai and come from Jiang xi province. There are so many people in my family. I am youngest in my family!

           In fact, I am an introverted, pure and cute girl. I never go to bar and KTV. I like to play with my friends. Sometimes, I like lonely.

     I enjoy sports. I like playing badminton and Ping pong. Also, I like climbing mountain. I like listening music and eating roast duck.

          I have a dream, a sweet dream... I hope I will visit to Li jing with my dear parents and friends one day.

          From now on, I must work hard and save more money for my dreams. My desk-mate told me the Beijing is very beautiful. What’s more, I can eat food which I like to, I can visit Great Wall and other sceneries.

Open Toolbar