A lady got a call in the middle of the night at two o’clock,

and the phone kept ringing, so she picked it up. “Hi,

this is Mary.” And the person at the other end said, “

I want to speak to Joe, please.” Mary said, “There's no Joe.

I am alone here. I am Mary. This must be a wrong number!”

She put the phone down: Bang! And she went back to sleep.

Two minutes later, the phone rang again. “Hallo!” said Mary.

The other person said, “I want to speak to Joe, please.”

“There is no Joe here. Wrong number!” Bang!

She went back to sleep. A couple of minutes later,

the phone rang again: “Is Joe home?” Mary said,

“I told you already! If you call again, I am going to

call 911. It's a wrong number; there is no Joe here!”

Mary banged the phone down and tried to go back

to sleep, but she couldn’t. She worried that the phone

might ring, so she sat next to the phone, waiting,

with another phone on hand, just to call 911.

And the phone really did ring again, five minutes

later. So Mary was already scolding: “I told you

it's a wrong number. There is no Joe over here.

I told you: Stop it, or I’ll call the police!”

And the other said, “Oh! Calm down, calm down!

Here is Joe.” And Joe said, “Did anyone call me

                            at that number?”

There was a little boy who went with his mother to

see the ballet, and it was his first time.

After watching for a while, he shook his head

and turned to his mother and said, "Mom,

why didn't they find some taller girls to do it?

There was a person who went out to buy something to

drink in a bottle. But in the middle of the road,

the bottle broke, and all the juice from inside sank into

the ground. So he just stood there and waited.

And another person passing by said, “What are you

doing there?” The person said, “I just broke my bottle

of juice, so I am waiting for the juice to sink into the

ground, and then I’ll take the earth back home

A salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to

buy a refrigerator. He told her it would save her

a lot of money because it was state-of-the-art and

power-saving, and would save her shopping time

as well as gasoline for the drive to the food store.

The housewife answered, "Let me tell you the truth:

We have 'saved' too much already! We have saved to

pay the loan for our new car; we have saved to

pay the mortgage for the house we live in;

we have saved to pay for our children's college

education; we have saved for the upcoming

Christmas holiday; we have saved to buy a

 A driver is making an apology to a housewife for running

over and killing her pet cat. He promised that

                           he would make up for her loss.

                       “Fine,” the housewife said, “but can you actually catch mice?”

There was a lady who saw a man begging on the street

with a hat in front of him that said, “Blind: Please help!”

So, she put a dollar in the hat. But the wind was

blowing so quickly that the dollar blew away.

The man stood up and chased after the dollar,

and put it in his pocket. And the lady said,

“It’s written here, ‘Blind man: Please help!’

But you are not blind!” He said, “Yes, that’s not me.

I am not the beggar. It’s my brother.” So she said,

“Then what are you doing here?” He said,

“Well, I am just sitting in for him for a while.”

The lady asked, “And where is your brother now?”

There was a lady who saw a man begging on the street

with a hat in front of him that said, “Blind: Please help!”

So, she put a dollar in the hat. But the wind was

blowing so quickly that the dollar blew away.

The man stood up and chased after the dollar,

and put it in his pocket. And the lady said,

“It’s written here, ‘Blind man: Please help!’

But you are not blind!” He said, “Yes, that’s not me.

I am not the beggar. It’s my brother.” So she said,

“Then what are you doing here?” He said,

“Well, I am just sitting in for him for a while.”

The lady asked, “And where is your brother now?”

There was a thief who broke into a house and started

collecting things. Suddenly, he heard a voice coming

from a dark corner saying, "Jesus is watching you."

So he looked and looked, but he didn't see anyone.

He thought maybe his ears were deluding him.

So he continued collecting items in the house.

And then there came a voice again: "Jesus is

watching you!" This time it was louder. So he

realized that his ears were not wrong. He followed

the voice to find its source, and he found a parrot

sitting there. So he asked the parrot, "Was it you

who said that?" And the parrot confessed, "Yes,

I was just trying to warn you." So the thief said,

"Ha! Who do you think you are?" And the parrot said,

"I am Moses." So the thief laughed and said, "Ha!

What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot was very shy, but he said, "Well, probably

the same people who named the Rottweiler dog 'Jesus'!"

(A Rottweiler is a first-rate guard dog. And this

one's name was Jesus. And he was watching the

       The teacher asked Tom :”Why did you come to school so late this morning?” 

　　“Someone lost one yuan ,” answered Tom.

　　“Oh, I know.” You helped him find the money,” the teacher said. 　

　  “No, I stood on the money until the person went away.”

  The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.

           When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,

“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund

 you the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husband

asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”
  “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.

 “It’s not worth seeing.”
“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.

                          “Wake the child up and let him cry.”