A lady got a call in the middle of the night at two o’clock,

and the phone kept ringing, so she picked it up. “Hi,

this is Mary.” And the person at the other end said, “

I want to speak to Joe, please.” Mary said, “There's no Joe.

I am alone here. I am Mary. This must be a wrong number!”

She put the phone down: Bang! And she went back to sleep.

Two minutes later, the phone rang again. “Hallo!” said Mary.

The other person said, “I want to speak to Joe, please.”

“There is no Joe here. Wrong number!” Bang!

She went back to sleep. A couple of minutes later,

the phone rang again: “Is Joe home?” Mary said,

“I told you already! If you call again, I am going to

call 911. It's a wrong number; there is no Joe here!”

Mary banged the phone down and tried to go back

to sleep, but she couldn’t. She worried that the phone

might ring, so she sat next to the phone, waiting,

with another phone on hand, just to call 911.

And the phone really did ring again, five minutes

later. So Mary was already scolding: “I told you

it's a wrong number. There is no Joe over here.

I told you: Stop it, or I’ll call the police!”

And the other said, “Oh! Calm down, calm down!

Here is Joe.” And Joe said, “Did anyone call me

                            at that number?”

There was a little boy who went with his mother to

see the ballet, and it was his first time.

After watching for a while, he shook his head

and turned to his mother and said, "Mom,

why didn't they find some taller girls to do it?

There was a person who went out to buy something to

drink in a bottle. But in the middle of the road,

the bottle broke, and all the juice from inside sank into

the ground. So he just stood there and waited.

And another person passing by said, “What are you

doing there?” The person said, “I just broke my bottle

of juice, so I am waiting for the juice to sink into the

ground, and then I’ll take the earth back home

A salesman was trying to persuade a housewife to

buy a refrigerator. He told her it would save her

a lot of money because it was state-of-the-art and

power-saving, and would save her shopping time

as well as gasoline for the drive to the food store.

The housewife answered, "Let me tell you the truth:

We have 'saved' too much already! We have saved to

pay the loan for our new car; we have saved to

pay the mortgage for the house we live in;

we have saved to pay for our children's college

education; we have saved for the upcoming

Christmas holiday; we have saved to buy a

 A driver is making an apology to a housewife for running

over and killing her pet cat. He promised that

                           he would make up for her loss.

                       “Fine,” the housewife said, “but can you actually catch mice?”

There was a lady who saw a man begging on the street

with a hat in front of him that said, “Blind: Please help!”

So, she put a dollar in the hat. But the wind was

blowing so quickly that the dollar blew away.

The man stood up and chased after the dollar,

and put it in his pocket. And the lady said,

“It’s written here, ‘Blind man: Please help!’

But you are not blind!” He said, “Yes, that’s not me.

I am not the beggar. It’s my brother.” So she said,

“Then what are you doing here?” He said,

“Well, I am just sitting in for him for a while.”

The lady asked, “And where is your brother now?”

There was a lady who saw a man begging on the street

with a hat in front of him that said, “Blind: Please help!”

So, she put a dollar in the hat. But the wind was

blowing so quickly that the dollar blew away.

The man stood up and chased after the dollar,

and put it in his pocket. And the lady said,

“It’s written here, ‘Blind man: Please help!’

But you are not blind!” He said, “Yes, that’s not me.

I am not the beggar. It’s my brother.” So she said,

“Then what are you doing here?” He said,

“Well, I am just sitting in for him for a while.”

The lady asked, “And where is your brother now?”

There was a thief who broke into a house and started

collecting things. Suddenly, he heard a voice coming

from a dark corner saying, "Jesus is watching you."

So he looked and looked, but he didn't see anyone.

He thought maybe his ears were deluding him.

So he continued collecting items in the house.

And then there came a voice again: "Jesus is

watching you!" This time it was louder. So he

realized that his ears were not wrong. He followed

the voice to find its source, and he found a parrot

sitting there. So he asked the parrot, "Was it you

who said that?" And the parrot confessed, "Yes,

I was just trying to warn you." So the thief said,

"Ha! Who do you think you are?" And the parrot said,

"I am Moses." So the thief laughed and said, "Ha!

What kind of stupid people would name a parrot Moses?"

The parrot was very shy, but he said, "Well, probably

the same people who named the Rottweiler dog 'Jesus'!"

(A Rottweiler is a first-rate guard dog. And this

one's name was Jesus. And he was watching the

       The teacher asked Tom :”Why did you come to school so late this morning?” 

　　“Someone lost one yuan ,” answered Tom.

　　“Oh, I know.” You helped him find the money,” the teacher said. 　

　  “No, I stood on the money until the person went away.”

  The parents with their three-year-old son went to see film.

           When they walked into the cinema, the attendant said to them,

“you’ll have to go out if your son cries. But we’ll refund

 you the tickets.” About half an hour later, the husband

asked his wife, “What do you think of the film?”
  “I’ve never seen such a boring film.” His wife answered.

 “It’s not worth seeing.”
“I don’t think much of it, either.” The husband said.

                          “Wake the child up and let him cry.”

ocean apart day after day

and I slowly go insane

I hear your voice on the line

but it doesn't stop the pain

if I see you next to never

how can we say forever

wherever you go

whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

whatever it takes

or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times

that I thought would last somehow

I hear the laughter, I taste the tears

but I can't get near you now

oh, can't you see it baby

you've got me going crazy

wherever you go

whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

whatever it takes

or how my heart breaks

I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive

this romance

but in the end if I'm with you

I'll take the chance

oh, can't you see it baby

you've got me going crazy

wherever you go

whatever you do

I will be right here waiting for you

whatever it takes

or how my heart breaks

When I think back on these times,

and the dreams we left behind

I'll be glad cause I was blessed to get,

to have you in my life

When I look back on these days,

I'll look and see your face

You're right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the skies

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am there you'll be

And everywhere I am there you'll be

Well, you showed me how it feels,

to feel the sky within my reach

And I always will remember all,

the strength you gave to me

Your love made me make it through, oh, I owe so much to you

You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the skies

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am there you'll be

Cause I always saw in you my life, my strength

And I wanna thank you now for all the ways,

you were right there for me

You were right there for me, oh, yeah

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the skies

In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me,

And everywhere I am there you'll be

And everywhere I am there you'll be

I remember quite clear now, there was a famous poem in my memory from Tai Ge’er.

Yeah, let me share a graceful poem with you.

If by life you were deceived,

Don’t be dismal, don’t be wild!

In the day of grief be mild

Merry days will come believe.

Heart is living in tomorrow;

Present is dejected here;

In a moment, passes sorrow;

That which passes will be dear.

When you are in trouble, don’t forget this poem.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room‘s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn‘t hear the band - he could see it in his mind‘s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descrīptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly and painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

      From now on, I must work hard and save more money for my dreams. My desk-mate told me the Beijing is very beautiful. What’s more, I can eat food which I like to, I can visit Great Wall and other sceneries.