zhongguo.china的个人空间_中国英语博客基地(English Blogs-英语麦当劳博客空间)

我的人生只有两个字那就是快乐生活是被太阳明媚照耀过的自己快乐,生活简单.生活也显得轻松.也就快乐. 没有什么事情过不去的永远相信自己

zhongguo.china 留言于2008-04-15 19:43:02: Bring me the winner

　　-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

　　-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

　　-- Well, bring me the winner then.

　　给我那个打赢的吧

　　-- 服务员，

　　这个龙虾只有一只爪。

　　-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

　　-- 哦，那给我那个打赢的吧。

zhongguo.china 留言于2008-04-15 19:42:08: He is really somebody

　　-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.

　　-- He is really somebody. What does he do?

　　-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.

　　　他真是一个大人物

　　-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。

　　-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的？

　　-- 墓地守墓人。

zhongguo.china 留言于2008-04-15 19:41:19: The mean man's party.

　　The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

　　"Why use my elbow and foot?"

　　"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

　　吝啬鬼请客

　　一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

　　“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

　　“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。

zhongguo.china 留言于2008-04-15 19:40:32: The doctor lives downstairs

　　"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."

　　He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."

　　医生住在楼下

　　“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。

　　“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”

　　他从头到脚打量打量她，然后大声说：“太太，我有三件事要对你说。第一，您的体重需要减少大约50磅；第二，如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红，您的美貌将会改变。第三，我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”

zhongguo.china 留言于2008-04-15 19:39:43: When the young waitress in the café in Tom's building started waving hello everyday. Tom was flattered, for she was at least 15 years younger than he. One day she waved and beckoned to Tom again. When Tom strolled over, she asked, "Are you single?"

　　"Why, yes," Tom replied, smiling at her broadly.

　　"So is my mom," she said. "Would you like to meet her?"

　　约会

　　在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？” “对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。 “我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？”

zhongguo.china 留言于2008-04-15 19:38:50: Where is the father?

　　　 Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　　 "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　　 "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　　 The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　父亲在哪儿？

　　　兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

　　　 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

　　　 “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

　　　哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

zhongguo.china 留言于2008-04-15 19:37:54: I Wasn't Asleep

　　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

　　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."

　　我没有睡着

　　当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”

　　　 “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

　　　 “没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”

　　　 “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

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