• 空间首页
• 空间管理
• 中国英语博客基地(English Blogs-英语麦当劳博客空间)
• 站点论坛
• 添加我的日志

A girl tries to know herself truly through the footprints she left on the road，then find a better way to move on！

我的最新日志

• Job--hunting day

  2008-4-28

    It's hard to believe that I went to five companies to attend interviews those four days continuously, and tomorrow I have another one. God, please tell me when I would stop! I never thought my job-searching day would come so quickly three day-rest after finishing the test. However, there's no more excuse for me to stay in without doing anything worthy. I have to push myself into a fresh start, in this manner to say goodbye to my school life altogether 15 years.

  Only four days passed, but why did I feel such a long time I have already spent? Yeah, the day waiting for the reply of interview seemed much longer than ordinary days. There was slim chance for me to get the job easily because work experience was more important to the business world. If they had a better choice to recruit rich expericenced employees, why need they go to choose a jackaroo for internship?

  No matter how high English level you have, they pay more attention to your spoken English, especially, when communicating with foreign customers on business. At that moment, the manager really count on your good communication in order to establish relations with clients now or in near future. Yeah, hard task is before me! No way but to head on!

  When I went to my cousins' yeaterday evening, they became aware of that I was thinner than a week ago saw me. Yeah, how rough these days! And I had a bad appetite during these kinds of days, so it's easier to loose weight but wouldn't on my purpose.

  I was eager to take someone's warm arms to lie down and get rid of my tiredness, but whom could I turn to? Her? No, during her harsh days I wouldn't give her enough care, so I won't look to her for help. Him? I deeply hope so! Whereas seeing him online, I lack courage to chat with him. I'm afraid I'll feel more painful to hear the words from him. From the day we met, I've already cared about everything he did to me. How can I face him again? God, please save me!

  It's too late to stop searching jobs on net, so I couldn't slow down the step but to keep on hunting, which looks like a machine that's pressed to start, and it needs way to run till next circle. From the second day, I had that kind of feeling. Although tired as well, there's no sign to stop to have a rest.

  No matter bad or good news I will get tomorrow, I hope I could get over it as soon as possible. Make a move first, then another one following! Believe myself!

   

   

  查看(12) 评论(0)

• School life was over on April 20

  2008-4-23

  As to me, the most important thing happened in this month was that about the test of entering unversity in Hangzhou, that means which way I need to walk later on, go on studying during next two years or start to work from now on in the society.

  Of course, there's no definition to tell you which road is brighter for the future. No matter on which side, people's advice all makes sense. Nobody could fly to see what on earth about their own future before they take which road to move out the first step. We couldn't predict whether this way is bad or good at first.

  After finishing my test, how much I wish I could pass it, cos that moment in the unversity the dream to be an English teacher presented itself in my mind for a long time. To be honest, I always hate the job of being a teacher, it's so boring to teach what you have already known by heart time and time again. Maybe you need to say the same sentence for 6 times during one day to different classes. Oh, my God! It's really a big job. I'm afraid that I will loose my patience in the end. 

  However, I come around to the idea now. To take my future family into account, in order to spare more time with the family, especially, with my kid, I'd like to look after her/him as much as possible. In some way, being a teacher you would have plenty of holiday time on your hand, so you could share most moments of her/his growing. On the other hand, to myself, I really don't want to forget what I learn at school. It seems that I only study English in this life, hehe. If I forget all of it as time goes by, it would leave an empty page to my whole life. And I realize that teaching English to students, not only could give you the chance to remember it, but also good to update your knowledge as soon as possible.

  Unwillingly, this dream wouldn't come true in this life, because I failed the test. I lost the opportunity to study in the unversity and get the undergraduate degree. God never shuts one door but he opens another. I gave comfort to myself that it wasn't so bad to work earlier than contemporary. Once I found the job related to my major, that's also a good chance to practice what I learn and gain enough work experience.

  Yeah, there's no excuse to idle away my time at home anymore. I need to carve out a career for myself from now on.  Haha, cheerio! Also I want to thanks those who always support me and care me when I'm in need.

   

   

  查看(21) 评论(2)

• Father's campaign

  2008-4-22

  There were two most important things happened to our family in April, what a crucial month it was!

  To my father, he ran for the director of village on April 18th, the election was held every three years. Most of the members in our family went out to solicit the votes almost house by house, which lasted nearly one month. I can't help reminding of American election. To a certain extent, they were similar to each. During these days, I really understood the meaning of the word "family". Family are always there when you in need. Everyone may will abandon you except the family, yeah, cos we have grown from the same trees!

  Although my father got No.3 in the campaign and wasn't re-elected in this term, we had already done our utmost so never regretted at all. What's more, it gave us a chance to feel the warmth from the family, which bound us together finally! We got precious love from family for it couldn't be bought in this money society.

  In this election, I got to know how ugly face that human being showed! Most of them were wearing masks in front of you, doing this to your face, but another behind your back. No matter which candidate would win at last, they never mind at all. They only care about how much money they could receive from the one who promised to give 50 or 100 yuan to each voted him after the campaign was over.

  With the lust for money, nearly half of villagers casted a holy ballot to him, of course, he was far ahead of the rest two and ranked to the top quickly. Yeah, in some way, he bought this position through money. How could we compete with the one who used money to pave his way for his political career? God, you can imagine what kind of society it is now! Hehe, money really could make the world go round! Do you believe it? Anyway, I do! That's the experience I learned by my own from the real life.

   

   

  查看(13) 评论(0)

• Can we find a way out to move on

  2008-4-18

  Seeing you sitting in front of computer table on the other side out of my reach, I can't find suitable words to talk with you. Even the word "hello" seems lack of vitality. Of course, I could say it out easily. But how about the next? How could we keep on our conversation? If both of us sitting silently and staring at the other photo in a daze, I would rather there was no start at all.

  When you went to ask me about my test result, which also gave me the sense that you had the same kind of feeling like I did. You wanted to care more about me but what you promised before caused you to stop thinking of our inchoate relationship. But instinctively, we can't help missing each other crazily.

  I was just about to welcome you to my real world, but the opportunity of future career came with a sudden, and it seldom knocks twice. So you should put all energy on it. When reading your sentence "In three years, only care about the career, no love!" It's the feeling like I woke up from a nice dream unwillingly. Why it was three years? Can you reduce it? Cuz it's really hard to foretell what will happen during three years, especially, the most uncertain period in our life. I don't need you to stay wiht me all day along, feeling your love and care is enough. How could we find a way out to keep balance with both? Who could help us?

  I noted with a sigh of regret that accidents will happen in life. Sometimes I was thinking of it selfishly. If I never knew your love, we wouldn't get into a jam! But yeah, only myself won't gain the pain. How selfish thought it was! If not, maybe I would miss a chance to own a true lover in my life forever! When this idea occurred to me, I felt full of faith to defeat all problems in front of me.

  Although your unrequited love showed six years later, you caught the chance to express it to me last month. When traced back to our middle school life, it seemed nothing left behind expect some common friends. But now, your love gave me a sense of purity and innocence during that period. How much I wish we could develop it better and better as time went by.               

  In fact, I never had an affection with a Chinese boy yet. If there is destiny between us, I believe no matter how far away I fly, I'll be back to your side some day! I hope so!

   

   

  查看(14) 评论(0)

• My confidant comes from Canada

  2008-4-17

   

   How lucky I am to know him as my confidant in this life. Recall the day how I got to know him, maybe this was the same as so-called destiny. My favourite basketball player is from Canada, it is a case of love me, love my dog. I'd like to know more about the people living in the same country as him. So I went to search someone on icq.

  Thanks to Nash, xixi, he granted me luck to know Tarin instead of him. What a happy coincidence! They were tall with the same height 1.91m!!! But the different type like Nash, nevermind, hehe! Yeah, I really felt great honor to see he adding me to his list, too. And soon later, I knew that's also related to his major--computer, for most of his messengers were online all day around.

  But we all understand what brought us closer together was due to our sincere heart chat. When came across on the net every time, we listened to each carefully with patience and care. Even tiny thing  from common life, but through our mouths, all  filled with joyfulness and more interesting than it was original to be.

  He's the first one I could talk my thoughts truly outside during these years. Perhaps he gave me a sense of trust. When saw him typing words on the other side, I got a hectic inside, heart-struck as well. I knew it's the normal response when facing the one I feel love! Through longtime's getting long with him, I found the more time chat with him, the deeper I love him secretly.

  Yeah, it  is terrible! Because I lack courage to tell him my love. He is the second foreigner friend I love but much deeper than the former. And so much I'm sure he is the one I feel falling in love with, out of control.

  Somethimes I'm thinking about the scene of his reaction when hearing my love to him. I'm eager to know what's his feeling about me. Of course there're only two sides. On one hand, he has no more feelings just sees me as a friend. So how could our friendship go on the following days after my expression only? On the other hand, hearing what I wished, we would be happy to feel love together. But how could we face everyday only meeting online but not by side. Time and space is really the killer of love! So I would rather feel sad alone than bring pain to him.

  At set intervals, I go to chat with him and he is always there for me. Almost we could stay nearly 2 hours, he's the one I could talk from daytime to nighttime. My eyes would be tired but the heart full of happiness, passion and dynamism. Only when facing him I could find more and more words to say out. But that also makes me afraid whether we would talk a lot sitting face to face in real life. However, how much I hope he was living near to me here!

  Especially, during the days without seeing him, I get lost and couldn't find anything else to spend time quickly. To my amazement, all his words said to me I could repeat again and again in my mind. Never do I remember them painstakingly, but it does finally. I'm a person who can easily forget common things in daily life. It seems that he is so special to me, and it will be forever and ever!

  Why his words like magic and attract me to death. Through them I feel a heart with innocence and purity. He is also very cool, with a seldom long hairstyle for boys that is very different from the contemporary. What's more important, not that he goes to speak with me just for some aims, but that he regards me as his friend. A friend who can share your life with sorrow and joyfulness. He is the precious gift god give to me in this life!

  Time flows away like running water, in a twinkling, one and a half year passed. Luckily, we still keep in touvh with each and our friendship goes on well. When he said to me with a smile that he had already used to Chinese time, I felt deeply touched. Yeah, because of the time lag, he was always staying up late. "If not, how could we chat together?" He said with a happy tough, but I really cloud feel a bit of sorrow behind it!

  At last, I'd like to celebrate the day for us, December 3 of 2007! Our Best Friend Day!  It remains fresh in my memory the moment he agreeed me to be his best friend! Haha, from then on, I feel hornor that I'm also special to him, what a happy day for us! I'll remember it all my life.

  P.S.   Fogetting his birthday 4 dayds ago made me awake suddenly this morning, and I felt so sorry, for the day I had been waiting for one year!

   

   

   

  查看(12) 评论(0)

• Happy chatting with my lovely cousin

  2008-4-15

  Long time no see my best lovely cousin. I was really missing her so much but it seemed she wanted to disappear quietly for a while and didn't keep in touch with me. When she came back to speak with me online three days ago, I cheered up at once and felt my heart filled with warmth. Maybe it's called the power of love from family bonds!

  My life was in a mess recently, my heart became colder and colder to kill most of friends' warmth. Even myself felt so strange telling them that just let me alone and I didn't need all your care. If I couldn't give you happiness, why not leave me to seek from others? You all deserve more than what I could share with.

  During that moment I found even when facing with my best homo-friend, I only want to keep my sad feelings inside and just stay with myself alone. I was upset to see leaving them tapping on the other side only but I was reluctant to find suitable words to say out.

  All my mind was trapped in my poor situation, and it's hard for me to move on leisurely. My passion was low for doing everything untill saw my lovely cousin came to me. Haha  We were chatting together nearly three hours through phone and net. I heard my own voice louder and louder, smiles wearing again on my face. Yeah, she is really a person full of charm that could bring happiness to everyone around her easily. She is the one I could talk to openly and freely without any scruples. I'm so proud from the bottom of the heart to have her as my cousin in my life. Thank you so much!

   

   

   

  查看(20) 评论(0)

• If we met at wrong time

  2008-4-14

   

  Totally three weeks ago of today, I went to meet you when hearing you were eager to see me the night before. It should be called our first date. One day before or even an hour ago, I never found any signs to prove what kind of thing would happen next. Untill the moment you said you love me, but I still couldn't believe my eyes. Why it's me? Why it's you? Are you the one I'm always looking for? So many questions jumped out into my head with uncertainty.

  At the beginning, I thought it was like a joke. The one who loves me is living so close to my real life. During three years all my better male friends are foreigners who're living far away from me. I'm always sure enough I'll marry someone but not Chinese guys. Maybe because I never met the right person in my real life, and your come broke this rule. Some strange thoughts kept in my mind that I would be settled down tightly by you from now on!

  Hardly to believe someone who is filled with charm could call me back into the real life. When standing by your side, looking through your eyes, that moment I only realized that how much I like you! You said it was destiny let us meet again at class reunion in winter holiday. Six years passed since we graduated from the middle school. Although stay in the same city, we miss the chance to encounter on the road all the time.

  But god also made a jok to us, he arranged wrong time for us to share love outside. This time I get ready to keep the relationship with you, but in the end you have to catch the opportunity to creat the future career wiht all your efforts. Why our love would go on like that kind of way? Did we come across to each at wrong time? I couln't tell myself you are the same as someone else till I know your true heart. No, you're so special to me till the end of time!

   

   

  查看(27) 评论(0)

• Love never gone but need to stop

  2008-4-11

   

   

  

   

  Staring at my eyes in a mirror

  What else could I read through it

  Since when my life wasn't serene anymore

  Many incredible things happened one after another

  Maybe it would be called miracle or adventure

   

  Heart inside became heavy to bear all of them

  Young as my age to accept everything with a sudden

  I said to myself I was really fine

  But was it true finally

   

  You're my special in my life forever

  When alone I started to doubt about this

  I pretended so well that forgot the true feelings

  It seemed as a disaster and I lost everything in it

  What else can I loose more but the self-respect

   

  I thought I could win if we have second time to play game

  As a friend asked why try again but still see the same end

  Though I realized this point of matter apparently

  I still believe we could find a new path to walk on

  Give us a chance to turn to a new page

   

  You're really good when we stay together

  But when we keep apart in our daily life

  We never belong to each anymore

  I was afraid to be hurt again but it was at last

  Starting to find any sign that you were once there

  Truely, deeply, madly in my life

   

  Nothing left only a broken heart

  How could I carry on to pull myself through

  Facing every moment you're won't be mine forever

  I konw time is up for you and me

  There are more important stuff need me to care

  So I won't waste time any longer

  We need to go back to our own life

  Where we totally belong in this life

   

  For a better future we need to move on without each

  I still feel grateful to meet you when I was young

  The happy day we shared together I will remember all

  Someday you're gonna run across my mind

  I know you're my first and it will be forever

   

   

  查看(31) 评论(3)

• One year later...

  2008-4-11

   

  I miss you every day, but that seems useless without you by my side.
  I'm not sure if we have future, but I don't want to lose you in my life.
  You're my special lover, so I came back to meet you one year later.
  I prefer to cherish what I have rather than seek for others with a blind start.
  If never fall in love, how to know what's the love it is!

  I'm not a good lover who never care about your everything so much.
  For us, we have enough freedom in real life.
  If you need more free space, I'll respect it.
  As long as you are fine, that's what I care!

  

   

   

  查看(12) 评论(0)

• Is it love or infatuation? 是爱情还是迷恋?

  2008-4-11

  Are  you  really  in  love ?  How  do  you  know  the  difference  between  love  and  infatuation ?  
  This  is  often  difficult  to  determine ,  for  there  are  no  set  rules  surrounding  the  definitions  of  love  
  or  infatuation .  Romantic  love  is  very  much  a  part  of  the  way  of  life  and  many  expect  
  that  someday " it "  is  going  to  hit  them  and  they  will  know  they  are  in  love !
  
  你是真的坠入爱河了吗? 你怎么区分爱情与迷恋的不同? 要确定两者之间的差异往往很难,
  因为爱情和迷恋的界定并无定律. 浪漫的爱情是人生活方式不可或缺的一部分.
  许多人都期望有一天爱会降临到自己头上, 那时他们就会意识到自己已坠入爱河.
  
  
  
  What  are  some  of  the  differences  between  love  and  infatuation ?  
  Genuine  love  is  more  likely  to  involve  a  process  of  " growing "  in  love  rather  than  " falling "  in  love .  
  This  may  sound  terribly  unromantic  to  some  who  are  used  to  hearing  talk  about " falling  in  love "  
  or  being  " head  over  heels  in  love ".  This " falling "  is  often  infatuation ,  
  and  the  sheer  emotion  of  " falling  in  love "  often  blinds  a  person  to  the  infatuations  of  the  loved  one . 

   We  tend  to  think  of  the  loved  one  as " perfect ",  " ideal ",  or  some  other  divine  image .  
  Real  love  sees  the  total  person --- both  the  perfection  and  the  imperfection .  
  Infatuation ,  then ,  is  a  sudden ,  emotional  sense  that  one  has  discovered  the  " perfect "  lover .  
  On  the  other  hand ,  love  realizes  imperfections  and  grows  with  the  acceptance  of  those  imperfections .
  
  爱情与迷恋之间有哪些差别呢? 真正的爱情可能是日久生情而不是骤然间坠入爱河.
  对有些人来说这未免太不浪漫, 因为他们习惯于什么"坠入爱河"  或" 爱得神魂颠倒" 之类的说法.
  这种所谓"坠入爱河" 其实往往只是迷恋而已, 而且这种情感常常使人对自己爱恋的人的缺陷视而怒不见.
  我们往往把自己爱恋的人看得 " 完美无缺",  奉若神明. 相反, 真正的爱情看到的是整个人 ---
  既有优点, 也有缺点. 迷恋是一种突发的情感, 好象发现了 "完美" 的恋人. 而爱情会看到对方的种种缺陷,
  接受这些缺陷而不影响爱情的发展.
  
  
  
  Love  leads  a  person  to  a  feeling  of  security  and  trust  in  the  loved  one .  
  It  usually  involves  a  feeling  of  mutual  benefit  arising  from  the  new  relationship .  
  " We  are  able  to  solve  our  problems  together "  is  the  feeling  of  love ,  rather  than  
  " Please  love  me  because  I  need  you ."
  
  爱情能使人有安全感, 对恋人有信任感. 爱的双方通常都感到从这种新的关系中获益.
  爱的感觉应该是"我们能一起来解决问题" 而不是"爱我吧, 因为我需要你".
  
  
  
  Infatuation  often  entails  feelings  of  insecurity  whenever  the  " lovers "  are  separated ;  feelings  of  doubt ,  
  fickleness ,  uncertainty ,  and  fear  of  loss  often  accompany  infatuation .  
  " What  will  I  do  if  I  lose  him  ?"  and " I  wonder  if  she  really  means  it  
  when  she  says  she  loves  me ?"  express  the  feelings  of  infatuation .  
  In  such  a  setting  a  lasting  love  does  not  have  a  chance  to  develop .
  
  相信迷恋的双方当不在一起的时候常常回产生不安全感. 疑虑, 花心, 不确定和对失落的恐惧常与迷恋如影随形.
  "失去了他我该怎么办?"  "她说爱我的时候是真心真意的吗?"  这些都是迷恋的表达方式.
  在这样的情形下, 自然不会有什么天长地久的爱了.
  
  
  
  Infatuation  tends  to  be  more  manipulative  than  love  because  a  lasting  feeling  of  relationship  
  probably  has  not  developed ,  so  that  the  individuals  are  still  concerned  mainly  about  
  their  own  needs  and  satisfactions .  Conversely ,  in  love ,  
  the  feeling  of  relationship  is  genuine  and  sincere  so  that  
  concern  for  the  other  person  envolves  naturally .
  
  迷恋与爱情相比, 具有更多的人为操纵的因素, 因为双方可能还没有确定持久稳定的关系,
  所以双方主要关心的还是自身的需要与满足. 与之相反, 在爱情中, 双方对彼此的关系是真诚的,
  这样自然就会关心对方.
  
  
  
  Physical  attraction  is  an  important  part  of  both  infatuation  and  love ,  
  but  the  superficial  attraction  is  less  important  in  love ,  
  for  the  couple  experiencing  love  usually  will  build  their  relationship  on  a  broader  base  
  than  mere  physical  attraction .
  
  无论在迷恋还是在爱情中, 都少不了肉体的吸引, 但这种表面的吸引在爱情中要相对次要些,
  因为相爱的人把他们的关系建立在更广泛的基础上, 而不仅仅是肉体的吸引.
  
  
  
  Although  genuine  love  is  an  ideal  toward  which  a  couple  strives ,  
  you  don't  have  to  be  perfect  to  love .  True  love  involves  a  measure  of  self -- acceptance  
  and  self -- respect  and  a  degree  of  self -- sufficiency  in  order  that  one  may  accept ,  respect ,  
  and  trust  another  person .
  
  虽然真挚的爱情是恋爱双方都追求的理想, 但并不是说自身必须十全十美才有资格去爱.
  真正的爱情需要某种自我接受, 自尊和一定程度的自立, 以便接受, 尊敬和信赖对方.
  

  查看(18) 评论(0)