One week passed away, but I didn't tell them about it yet. I hate the feeling that lack courage to face the matter between us. Sooner or later, I have to deal with it. Why not doing it in a fast way instead leaving it tomorrow to comfort myself all the time.

They are all good guys, especially male boss, who's very cute. What's more, I get on very well with the Aunty there. And she said she wouldn't be parted from me. "Then go with me!" I made a joke. Yeah, in a way, it's true from the bottom of my heart. But as we all know, it's impossible.

It's been a while I hated my job which was so boring. There's nothing meaningful to do but need to stay, such as a bird in the cage. At present, the most important thing to me is that learning something related to my future career, not something different far away.

Long time I didn't go to this blog and write something down here, but I really miss my own words. Am I narcissistic? Yeah, a bit of.

At the beginning of this month, after spending the Labor Holiday, I went to work as an office girl at a trading company in Keqiao. Actually, it's my First job. And this first month was just for the internship. Till now, three weeks has already passed, leaving me a body of tiredness and loneliness. Each week I tasted the different flavors from the job. I had a lot of get-up-and-go during the first week, it seemed that I got more spirit into the work. Of course, at the beginning, it's just a stage of freshness and vigor. When it comes to the second one, I felt more tiredness and less passion for work, and always got bored during working time! Why should I stay there like a fool?

I realized the reason why it went on like that way, that's due to his return from his country. Since more than three months we didn't meet each other, I was filled with happiness that he gave me a call as soon as he arrived here. In fact, I really felt confused how to keep in touch with him. Even I never told him I've already been working in Keqiao. No wonder he was surprised why I was reluctant to work at his office in the same city.

The more he did better to me, the worse I felt upset in the recent company. They are the family, and I'm the stranger to them forever. They couldn't 100% trust in me, which could easily hurt me inside. So why not working together with my owns, who is intimate to me and believe me? After meeting him on Tuesday, I was quite sure that the quitting day isn't far away.

The fourth week is coming, I need to think of the reasons for resign. Better put an end to a troublesome business than to be always vexed with it. I believe it's better to face with the problem earlier than later. Hope everything would go on well next week!

  It's hard to believe that I went to five companies to attend interviews those four days continuously, and tomorrow I have another one. God, please tell me when I would stop! I never thought my job-searching day would come so quickly three day-rest after finishing the test. However, there's no more excuse for me to stay in without doing anything worthy. I have to push myself into a fresh start, in this manner to say goodbye to my school life altogether 15 years.

Only four days passed, but why did I feel such a long time I have already spent? Yeah, the day waiting for the reply of interview seemed much longer than ordinary days. There was slim chance for me to get the job easily because work experience was more important to the business world. If they had a better choice to recruit rich expericenced employees, why need they go to choose a jackaroo for internship?

No matter how high English level you have, they pay more attention to your spoken English, especially, when communicating with foreign customers on business. At that moment, the manager really count on your good communication in order to establish relations with clients now or in near future. Yeah, hard task is before me! No way but to head on!

When I went to my cousins' yeaterday evening, they became aware of that I was thinner than a week ago saw me. Yeah, how rough these days! And I had a bad appetite during these kinds of days, so it's easier to loose weight but wouldn't on my purpose.

I was eager to take someone's warm arms to lie down and get rid of my tiredness, but whom could I turn to? Her? No, during her harsh days I wouldn't give her enough care, so I won't look to her for help. Him? I deeply hope so! Whereas seeing him online, I lack courage to chat with him. I'm afraid I'll feel more painful to hear the words from him. From the day we met, I've already cared about everything he did to me. How can I face him again? God, please save me!

It's too late to stop searching jobs on net, so I couldn't slow down the step but to keep on hunting, which looks like a machine that's pressed to start, and it needs way to run till next circle. From the second day, I had that kind of feeling. Although tired as well, there's no sign to stop to have a rest.

No matter bad or good news I will get tomorrow, I hope I could get over it as soon as possible. Make a move first, then another one following! Believe myself!

As to me, the most important thing happened in this month was that about the test of entering unversity in Hangzhou, that means which way I need to walk later on, go on studying during next two years or start to work from now on in the society.

Of course, there's no definition to tell you which road is brighter for the future. No matter on which side, people's advice all makes sense. Nobody could fly to see what on earth about their own future before they take which road to move out the first step. We couldn't predict whether this way is bad or good at first.

After finishing my test, how much I wish I could pass it, cos that moment in the unversity the dream to be an English teacher presented itself in my mind for a long time. To be honest, I always hate the job of being a teacher, it's so boring to teach what you have already known by heart time and time again. Maybe you need to say the same sentence for 6 times during one day to different classes. Oh, my God! It's really a big job. I'm afraid that I will loose my patience in the end. 

However, I come around to the idea now. To take my future family into account, in order to spare more time with the family, especially, with my kid, I'd like to look after her/him as much as possible. In some way, being a teacher you would have plenty of holiday time on your hand, so you could share most moments of her/his growing. On the other hand, to myself, I really don't want to forget what I learn at school. It seems that I only study English in this life, hehe. If I forget all of it as time goes by, it would leave an empty page to my whole life. And I realize that teaching English to students, not only could give you the chance to remember it, but also good to update your knowledge as soon as possible.

Unwillingly, this dream wouldn't come true in this life, because I failed the test. I lost the opportunity to study in the unversity and get the undergraduate degree. God never shuts one door but he opens another. I gave comfort to myself that it wasn't so bad to work earlier than contemporary. Once I found the job related to my major, that's also a good chance to practice what I learn and gain enough work experience.

Yeah, there's no excuse to idle away my time at home anymore. I need to carve out a career for myself from now on.  Haha, cheerio! Also I want to thanks those who always support me and care me when I'm in need.