LONELY BALCONY

It suddenly occuered to me

I always act many roles 

amuse others who around me by my foolish behaviour

to be a forever child when face my parents

to be a gentlelady when face the strangers

I am always like this

to pretend and pretend

due to this

I recognize myself less and less

when all the mask are stripped off

I only know

I am silent

I am even unwilling to move the corner of my mouth

only do nothing but sit there in a trance

when faces another world

I have to put on the mask again

one word   one performance

maybe something that doesn't matter

still can destroy everything

some childish performance makes me feel stifling

maybe it is  I think

my everything has gone

Before and Now

I tell myself

go ahead  never come back

All the failure that doesn't matter

should be forgotten and forgiven

however

I could have been another person if I had really forgotten

I really tried and tried my best

but it didn't work

I am so useless

always my fault....