he said he loved me.

last year, he told me that he loved me.

he called me one day, and said something to me.

i knew that he wanted to chase me and i told him i didn't like him and asked him not to telephone me again.

he called me everyday, i seldom answered my phone, but i gradually knew something about him.

sometimes when i was in a very good mood, i would answer my phone. because at that time i thought we could be good friend although i didn't want to be lover.

nearly every call i answered was becasue i wanted to persuade him not to chase me. i told him i was very terrible and what shortcomings i had. sometimes i would asked him why he liked me? i would give him an attack as soon as he told me the answer. so he said i was very cruel to him. i often do the similar things like this to him. sometimes i told him how to look for a good girl for him and how to confirm if the girl was a good choice to be his wife and i was not a good choice.

he is good at writing something. he wrote several good poetries to me. the poetries were all bout love.

i don't want to accept him.

this year, i told him that i had a boyfriend, he said he would wait for me. i said to him that he needn't to do it. it had no use. THen he quited his job and went away and told me that he would remember me forever, would contact me.

i said, that was his business, not mine.

yesterday, he told me that he would wait for me until i got married. as usual, i told him he had no hope.

as last, he told me that i couldn't make him give up me.

i don't want to say anything to him, just want to tell him do not bring troubles to me. maybe it is cruel to him, but .....

What is love?

did "the Xiangcai confederation" mean love?

Why it can't be long?

IF you love a person, will you love everything about him or her?

Why a little thing in our life will give impact to our love?

IF you want your love to be forever, maybe you shoould often know what the other think or what the other need. AT least you should understand him or her one day in a month and do something for it.

FOR example, one day, you know the other think that the gesture that you eating is not good enough. HE or she is tired of it. MAYBE  you can have a try to chane.

IN fact, the other shoould be tolerant, and think why you request him or her to do it like you want. DO you have a proper reason for it? is is important for you?

You can't live with love every day. In practical, a lot of things could lower the power of love.

Love is noble. Its existent need many things to be there. as time pass by, it will need more and more. ALthough you love him or her without any request at first.

Maybe you love each other for nothing. but, gradually, love will need more. Because people need to be alive and kee live, love need other things to support.Just the original condition is not enough.

For example, you dont know how to cook a meal, but after your love each other for a year or two, i think you should know it.

People should improve themselves continually. love will continue for everyone is getting knowledge every day. you can't stop.

Love has life, i think, you should feed it continually so that it will be there forever. if you need love, you should feed it together.(6/4,pm,8.30)

today, i think , at first, maybe you love the other with something you know. BUT as time goes, you know more about him or her, and you should love him or her with anything your know. if not, you will ......

I was dumped yesterday, i think.

THE day before yesterday, my BF asked me to marry him and told me that he was planning to have a wedding ceremony at the end of this year.

I told him that i couldn't make it and if we got married, we would have a hard time. we need a lot of money.

MAYBE  i give him a image that i hoped that he should have more money and if not, i wouldn't marry him.

ACtually, i just wanted him to know our ideas were not nature enough to consider having a wedding ceremony or we are too young to be married.

BEcause, according to his behavīor, he gave me a image that he is not grown up. we are not suitable to have a wedding ceremony soon or we will hurt each other.

later, i think he was angry with me. Becasue he gave a message that said he couldn't make me feel safe, because he was useless and had no money. I was very angry when i read it.

because, before this message, i had explianed my real meaning to him, i got very angry, i thought of his message and didn't give him messages on the whole afternoon.

in the end, in order not to misunderstand him, i asked my roommate to read my message and requested her to told me what my BF meaned. she told me that he said nothing, it was very common and i shouldn't be angry. so i sent a message to him and told him that i couldn't marry him this year and i didn't want to marry him next year. a minute later After sending the message to him, i was sure that he was angry with me although my roommate said there was nothing in his message. i regretted i sent message to him.

so far, i haven't received his message. i think i was dumped.

BEcause he didn't give me any words that he wanted to be part, i look at my mobile phone every now and then.

ALthough he is not the ideal BE that i dream, he is very kindhearted. i don't want to miss him. I need nothing just his kindness.

HE is a very common boy except his kindness.HE often keep silence when we meet. it seemed that he couldn't find tha topic to speak to me, but he is a very honest person.

HE has no confidence, i hate it, but i think he will find it some day. at least, i don't want to miss him at this moment.(5/25AM,9.00)

'ring....' the telephone rang. SUE hesitated for a minute and took the transmitter/receiver, 'hello?'

'is that SUE? this is CHEN.'

'it's you? I have written it down.'

'really? I really appreciate that! how could I get it?'

SUE lightly bited her lip and hesitated for a few minutes, finally said,'I speak , you write.'

SUE put down the phone then opened the drawer from which she took a diary out .

it was sunny outside, sue's head went blank, nearly fainted. the thin diary book seemed to weigh thousand KG, somehow she couldn't get to that page.

SUE mumbled, needn't be so, what would get? be cool!....

'I really don't know how much what you write will touch people? HAHA, I certainly will make it.' CHEN's familiar bright laughter made sue feel her heart trembling.

turned to that page in the end. sue looked at the blank page and read,

dear ANE, i don't know why what i say drop to your hands. FIRSTLY, i only want it to be near my pillow, accompany me evry night when i am sleeping. AS It is not so submissive and it is so submissive, it only run to you not others. please accept it and be its master. i think this is its choice and let it sleep with you.

' wow, you are so great! how can you get so good words!!! you are really Li qingzhao was born again.' CHEN often speaks without thinking in front of SUE. His praise often let her fly while his sarcasm put her feet on the ground, just don't say ' i love you to death.'

 to be continued...

sue smiled without giving voice. chen is acting like a child , although she is younger than him, she is more like his elder sister than his younge sister. no, fuck, she help and protect him from everythging she know. sometiems, chen would like to show his hero image, she would show weak of her and chen would feel comfortable, but they often blame each other and laugh after it.

'shut up, listen to me.( i am a real sucker, so when i saw you, i believed you. I couldn't know how much i love you. the feeling i love you sometimes show high and sometimes show low. sometimes i think, in fact, there is no excuse to have it, if i could stop loving you, eveything will be ok.)

after a few minutes of silence, CHEN said again,'you are really something! leave somebody at large in order to apprehend him afterwards, an expert in loveing area! To tell the truth, how many men admire you? hahaha...'

to be continued..