I was dumped yesterday, i think.

THE day before yesterday, my BF asked me to marry him and told me that he was planning to have a wedding ceremony at the end of this year.

I told him that i couldn't make it and if we got married, we would have a hard time. we need a lot of money.

MAYBE  i give him a image that i hoped that he should have more money and if not, i wouldn't marry him.

ACtually, i just wanted him to know our ideas were not nature enough to consider having a wedding ceremony or we are too young to be married.

BEcause, according to his behavīor, he gave me a image that he is not grown up. we are not suitable to have a wedding ceremony soon or we will hurt each other.

later, i think he was angry with me. Becasue he gave a message that said he couldn't make me feel safe, because he was useless and had no money. I was very angry when i read it.

because, before this message, i had explianed my real meaning to him, i got very angry, i thought of his message and didn't give him messages on the whole afternoon.

in the end, in order not to misunderstand him, i asked my roommate to read my message and requested her to told me what my BF meaned. she told me that he said nothing, it was very common and i shouldn't be angry. so i sent a message to him and told him that i couldn't marry him this year and i didn't want to marry him next year. a minute later After sending the message to him, i was sure that he was angry with me although my roommate said there was nothing in his message. i regretted i sent message to him.

so far, i haven't received his message. i think i was dumped.

BEcause he didn't give me any words that he wanted to be part, i look at my mobile phone every now and then.

ALthough he is not the ideal BE that i dream, he is very kindhearted. i don't want to miss him. I need nothing just his kindness.

HE is a very common boy except his kindness.HE often keep silence when we meet. it seemed that he couldn't find tha topic to speak to me, but he is a very honest person.

HE has no confidence, i hate it, but i think he will find it some day. at least, i don't want to miss him at this moment.(5/25AM,9.00)

when we arrive at a new place, we will follow the customs it have, not only good customs but bad customs as well. we follow the customs because we respect the people there.

But when a person has bad customs, we all want him to correct. we will blame him or tell him that something about him is not good and fact show that he should improve him. another thing, people don't like you to remind him of these things. if you tell him something, he will think you are not lovely and don't want to see you.

we should remind people of their bad customs or ignore those?

FOR example, my roommate stand up to brush her teeth every day so that water is spilled down to the ground everywhere and on the buckets and basins that we use.

Every day i feel a little disappointed when i see her brush her teeth like that.

I hinted several times that she should correct it, but she didnt seem to understand me. i sometimes think maybe she want to make me angry. several times, i want to tell her clearly that she should improve, but when i think about it, i give up!

to make matters worse, she has many bad customs, i reminded her of some.

Because she is a person that thinking everything about her is the best. I really think that she has no brain.

EVery time, i told her that she should improve her behave, but she think she is good and i am too noisy. I felt disapponted and i think whether many young girls and boys  have a heart of accepting other's suggestion or not?

YESterday, I read a passage about following customs, i think if i should follow her bad customs and if i follow her bad customs, is it show that i respect her?

.........

yesterday was may day. we had only one day off.

my roommate and her senior high school classmates ( three young boys and a girl and the girl's husband) and i went to climbing mountain in a garden in this town.

i had thought of what i would do in may day for nearly a week before may day came.

I didn't make the decision until the day before may day.

the night before, a colleague asked me to go to the green world, but he was a boy and no others would go to with us. in the end, I told him that i couldn't go out with him.

my roommate has a lot of classmates here. when there is one day off or more, she often go out with them.

on may day morning, when she asked me what i would do that day. I told her that i had nothing in mind, so she asked me to go with them.

I got up with her.

before we set out, it rained a little, but later it was windy all day. we had worried more about our dress. Finally, she weared a pair of pants and a short-sleeved sweater and I weared a suit of skirt.

at first, my roommate and i bought some food in a supermarket that if you bought ten yuan of things, you would get a 1.5ml 恰宝水. I spent twenty-seven yuan and got a bottle of water then we got into a bus to find other people.

after half an hour, we met three young boys, one in black T-shirt and balck jeans, one in white T-shirt and light-green jeans, one in bright-blue T-shirt with whitle short-sleeves and gray jeans. The bright-blue is very handsome and lovable.

after it, we went to the girl's family. she was combing her hair.

half an hour later, we were in a little restaurant and eating something. the girl and i were eating noodle, others were eating four plates of dumpling. hehe...

we got into the bus and arrived the destination after fourty minutes. all of us were in high spirits.

when we got off the bus, the first thing caught our sight was a bus that take you to the foot of the mountain if you are willing to pay five yuan.

we all thought that we wanted to climbing just because we wanted to breathe fresh air and relax ourselves. we didn't see that bus any more from the first sight.

we all walked half an hour to get the foot of that mountain.

on the way , first we met a stream and we all washed our hands and face in it. the water in it is very cool.

then we met a archway, first we thought we should go through this archway.  we found we were wrong aften ten minutes' walk and we saw cucumbers on the cucumber trees. i wanted to touch the cucumbers. the bright-blue boy pretended that he really wanted to get a cucumber. the girl blamed him.

the third thing we met was a temple and we went into it to see what happened in it.

first i told that we bought some food and put it in my packbag. the bag was really heavy. but at first no boy helped me to carry it and i was shy to ask them to help me. it was lucky that when i felt tired, the bright-blue boy helped me. on the way, the other boys played jokes on him and he just smiled. though i couldn't understand what they were saying at that moment, i knew they were laugh at him that if he had a crush on me?

after the temple, we chose to walk along a stream and there WERE fish in it. the bright-blue went close to the stream and grasped fish. hehe...

then we began climbing.

.....