something

I was dumped yesterday, i think.

THE day before yesterday, my BF asked me to marry him and told me that he was planning to have a wedding ceremony at the end of this year.

I told him that i couldn't make it and if we got married, we would have a hard time. we need a lot of money.

MAYBE  i give him a image that i hoped that he should have more money and if not, i wouldn't marry him.

ACtually, i just wanted him to know our ideas were not nature enough to consider having a wedding ceremony or we are too young to be married.

BEcause, according to his behavīor, he gave me a image that he is not grown up. we are not suitable to have a wedding ceremony soon or we will hurt each other.

later, i think he was angry with me. Becasue he gave a message that said he couldn't make me feel safe, because he was useless and had no money. I was very angry when i read it.

because, before this message, i had explianed my real meaning to him, i got very angry, i thought of his message and didn't give him messages on the whole afternoon.

in the end, in order not to misunderstand him, i asked my roommate to read my message and requested her to told me what my BF meaned. she told me that he said nothing, it was very common and i shouldn't be angry. so i sent a message to him and told him that i couldn't marry him this year and i didn't want to marry him next year. a minute later After sending the message to him, i was sure that he was angry with me although my roommate said there was nothing in his message. i regretted i sent message to him.

so far, i haven't received his message. i think i was dumped.

BEcause he didn't give me any words that he wanted to be part, i look at my mobile phone every now and then.

ALthough he is not the ideal BE that i dream, he is very kindhearted. i don't want to miss him. I need nothing just his kindness.

HE is a very common boy except his kindness.HE often keep silence when we meet. it seemed that he couldn't find tha topic to speak to me, but he is a very honest person.

HE has no confidence, i hate it, but i think he will find it some day. at least, i don't want to miss him at this moment.(5/25AM,9.00)