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A Lonely Night, A Lonely Hut
2008-11-18 22:31:30
A Lonely Night, A Lonely Hut
Last night, when I was dreaming in drinkiness, it was falling silently outdoors. When I went out at 4:00 in the quite early morning, the snow on the ground was about 10 centimetres. It could almost drown the shoes.
A whole day, it was not cold. But at dusk, it began to fall once again. In the evening, the melting snowwater got to freeze. Now, at late night, it was freezing cold.
When I trembled and opened my long-lost English blog, here, it was as cold and lonely as the snowy weather.What a pity! These days I was busy in writing my Chinese essays, and once in a while I dropped here. But I never typed a word here. I failed to come here for a whole three and a half months.
From now on, I have to insist on frequenting here to care for my blog, for now it's cold winter and it does need a warm hug in such a cold climate.
08-11-18pm22:30
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Who is not snobbish?
2008-07-20 09:53:13
Who is not snobbish?
--------Jesse
All of us are snobbish, and no one has the cheek to say he is free from it, whether you are nobody, or somebody. No one is an exception.
As humam beings, we are far away the jungle, we are not in danger where we are threatened by the beasts and animals. All around us are humans. In general, the law of competition isn't the law of jungle. Everything should be done in a human way.
So, if the paws and the teeth are not the weapons any more, we have to retreat to use our tongues. In many cases, a tongue can appear in different shapes. Sometimes, it can offer sugar and honey, and sometimes, it makes a knife with a sharp edge.
We live in a peaceful society now. In a career, we should have to behave kindly and politely. So in many cases, a tongue is so kind as to sound sweet and pleasant. Of course, it offers sugar and honey more than anything else.
You should have to please your boss, and your workmates. At the least, you should get along quite well with them. Just in order to create a pleasing atmosphere, most of the time, if you are greatly wronged, you still smile willy-nilly, and fake that you don't take it to the heart. You mean you never mind. However, after you go back home, you call them worst names and can't help crying into a melting ice-cream.
Can you say you are not snobbish?
The lady boss wears bright make-up, and has a wrong sandal to go with her dress. you come up and admiringly appreciate it. "What a suit! Perfect!" The words, you say, are what you are thinking of in your mind? Sure not.
You are not snobbish? You didn't mean that, but you look just that way.
When the weak are the laughing stick, they look pretty humble in a circle, dare you say, you haven't been one who laughs at him/her?
When a farmer asks the way, do you tell him the way in a voice just as you answer a question of a VIP? Perhaps not. A strange farmer and a well-dressed man, are the same in difficulty if they are both lost in a city. Perhaps both of them get the right answer, but they meet a different voice and a different face.
Who can deny this? Whoever doubts this is telling a lie.
Is it not snobbish?
No one lives on bread without vulgarity. This is the world.
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First money, or honey
2008-07-16 12:13:51
--------Jesse
First money, or honey?
What is love? For us, what does it mean? Just romantic? sweet nothings? Indeed, nothings do mean nothing.
In fact, love never exists and endures free from money, which we can not deny at all. Yeah, it is money that afford the love, it is never enough for one just to have affections, which is, of course, indispensable in the relationship of the two in love.
In this money-dominated society, you can not pick up an affair without thinking money over and over. You should have enough pennies to buy her a diamand ring first, and then of course afford a concrete nest in the jungle of the rustling city.
After you build up your nest one branch after another, then, you should afford the little bird, you kid, to a decent school. This is never cheap, until he can fly himself.
Perhaps your better half can't stand travel without a car. then it's your time to consider buying a car with cash or perhaps by credit. Life goes on and you find it dull, with so many things to pay.
If you happen to marry an expensive wife, then your fate is destined. You will all the time be disturbed, or say, infested with trifles of money. The bank will always linger in your ears. Wave it away, yet, it is never easy.
Money talks. Then your lady talks. Talks of what? Nothing more than money. You can look around, only to find almost all the fair faces from the walks of songs and screens, smile into the villas of millionaires, and they remain there just as idle housewives.
There is never a free lunch in the world, and there is never a pie dropping from the air. Money can make any ghost grind a mill, in other cruel words, money, as well, can make any mill grind a ghost. Being poor makes one never fussy over a wife.The proverb is a true truth.
So, the guys fresh from school, will first seek a good post well-paid. Then they try all the best to gain more, and earn more. Empty and flat pockets make people shy in company. So some say, first work, and then love. That is, work comes first before love. It seems they have no alternative at the start.
Yeah, first money, then honey. Perhaps, it is, and will all the way right as long as money talks. When does money stop talking? Tt is not yet the time for that society to come. Or, that society doesn't exist at all.
08-07-16 NOON
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Summer street corner
2008-07-15 12:05:11
Summer street corner
--------Jesse (Original)
（1）
Standing alone in the street corner, I caught sight of the familiar bicycle riding along, like a camel rattling away without looking sideways. The street was empty, with pink hibiscus petals falling like raindrops.
Your sharp glance across me scratched my innocent apples of the eyes. Tears welled up, just like resin, and they covered all the distress. An amber just condensed on the lashes.
Tears, were flowing in the apples of the eyes. before me lay a dry desert.
(2)
Why? Close friends turn into complete strangers in a wink. you turn away from me desparately. The former aquaintance, melts in the hand like a summer ice-cream.
Meeting each other by chance in the same schoolyard is nothing but a lot or luck, so you have never grinned broadly. I remember that I once walked along with you across the yard holding the coca-cola bottle in your hand. But at the very moment I felt helplessly lost in the familiar street corner. Once we sat back to back on the school meadow, one pair of eyes looking at the Dipper, while the other pair looking at the Milky Way.but at the very moment the eyes are not willing to meet.
As friends there should be a certain distance. Yet the distance is a little remote. The two are now at the horizon lines. making one turn means the end of the world. All fades into gray brown like an old photo. Who is to blame? Who is it that presses the button cruelly? The part of two friends is too hard, half-pale and half-weak.
You make you way far away, taking away the summer noon but leaving me the gray dusk.
Without you around the summer songs are not unstrainedly romantic any more. There is no one who dates me at the entrance of the school park, ready to gaze at the lonely michelia alba. You play the guitar so sweetly and fluently that the lilac bushes are shaking sweetly to the melodious chords. The oaths we have made blow away with the wind. "See you in Yantai University" is vanishing. I still remembered the scenes when we walked along the avenue with books in the arms. The gray-haired gentleman warned kindly, "Never drag in slippers". you made a broad grin, and then walked onto the brick roads with bare feet.
Under the plane trees come along beautiful girls and lovely boys, but nobody comes up telling me which is the violet from france.
The paper crane on the desk is now covered with chalk dust, and the summer days are destined.
(3)
A mistake misrepresents my heart.
One late rise at the early morning caused you to be strictly scolded. This is all the cause of the hatred. It is just the mistake that bleached the honest friendship. The teller isn't me, for I haven't learned to betray on friends. Your false guess made me ashamed and blushed. The meanness of you is just like the tail of a house lizard, which drops jumping and dancing, but soon regrows. I know, sometimes the eye of a needle is big, a little big, while the eyes of a heart can be small, a little small.
Friendship is gone this way and it is too lonely. a snowfall in the deep summer ices my heart for the whole summer.
At the street corner, one meeting goes without a greeting. the cold meeting is just one cold summer rain.
(4)
You say, you like music, and happiness is just like a music-box. "The Destiny Symphony" will never come back without its owner Bethoven. That old song "Any beer bottles" "酒干倘卖无", after you heard, you say, your ears were shedding tears. Yet you never mention of your parted parents. You are always sad, but your eyesight never scatters. In the eyes of others you never look distressed.
You say "Never kneel for the sake of love". Love is lofty and sacred, but it is never an altar. Love had better not appear between friends. friends always means eaqual in the eyes of each other, while love flies high. you say love should be proposed in many years, not in the innocent schoolyard.
Rain, wets your glasses, and you say it washes away the prejudice, and you can see everyone clearly.
Snow, covers your lashes, and you say my eyes are too small, so the heaven is offering me a bit of beauty.
You say, you don't believe Heaven, but Suhang(苏杭). the waterland of Suhang is your paradise. You'll never go to Paris, never to New Zealand, just to Suhang.
You say, you are ready to turn into a firefly, which doesn't mean to light anything, but to wander about freely like free stars.
You go away, out of the biggest diameter of my eyes, without any attachment.
(5)
I will never compain about you walking out of my sight, but I do hope you can walk steadily across your own wilderness.
You are so kind and innocent that your eyes are filled with sugar and honey. You always grin broadly with a ray of disrespectful smile, whether in the face of success o failure. You say there is no blind alley in the world unless you are blind yourself. For every trouble, there is always a way out.
You say, never shed tears in company, for they are pears you bear miserably. You can rest on the shoulders of others, but they will not be warm as the first touch. You hate best betrayal more than anything else. I know the love affection from your single parent doesn't warm you up enough. You go to extremes once in a while although you never have prejudice.
What is salty is tears, not salt. It is never easy for one to bid farewell to friendship tearfully, only to find the heart an alkaline land. Saying goodbye is a misery, and betraying on friendship is a disaster. Perhaps, friendship is just like a kind of purple-rooted leek, free from the difference it will get green again. When the silent summer flies away, in September, you and I will once again walk across the avenue lined with plane trees, saying and laughing. You walk a little ahead, with me holding the coca-cola bottle in your hand.
08-07-15
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A fly in the ointment
2008-07-14 18:41:42
A fly in the ointment
--------JesseThe English blog is my favorite of all the others, yet I find a tiny defect, just like a flaw in the jade. The format fails to automatedly line feed（自动换行）with a whole word. Sometimes a word is divided into two separate parts, two or three letters on the upper line, and the other letters are found in the following line. Every time the sight of this makes me feel it a pity! Yeah, kind of regretful!
I wonder if any other blogger here has the same feeling as I.
08-07-14
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The bar isn't far
2008-07-13 19:05:30
The bar isn't far
A whole ten days I have not drop in to renew my lines. Say what? Sometimes on has no choice, and I am not yet within the reach of the computer. To me it is still a luxury, I can't afford at the very moment. It is indeed an embarrassment, which I can't help admitting.Days without a computer under my nose feel misrably long. So late this afternoon, I wandered along into a nearly deserted net-bar.
To my great astonishment, it is, inside, heavily crowded like a sardin can. Mostly youngsters. Some are playing games and others are watching movies. Dirty words shoot out of their mouths easily and freely. Everyone is glued to the dust-covered screen. Inside here, it is killing hot, not like a normal bar, but kind of like a bread-coast bar.
Busy busimess! Only one seat is unoccupied there. I sat on the sofa-chair, which is more thick to make a chair than make a bedding matress. Over my head the hanging electric fan is silent with its three huge leaves. The air is also silent without a flow of even warm wind.
What does it matter? I only called in to have a good look at my Netease Chinese blog, and my English blog. So I dropped in the old-fashioed sofa, type, and then click.
All around, childish faces are all expressinless and motionless. Yeah, summer is here, the lads can be free to go surfing. I think perhaps it is much better for them to gain knowledge than play games. Net is nothing but a vision. Indulgement into the net games is a crime as well as a punishment. The crime, is caused by the game developpers, while the punishment is received by the many innocent teenagers.
Burning summer days make them flee hard classrooms, and they promptly turn into free birds flying out of their cages. In my mind, in the deep summer it is perfectly good time to read good novels, or learn something else, only if it is good for their heart and mind. For learners, every season can gather a full harvest, not like autumn to the farmers. I wonder if they can think the same way as I think. Pity some are not. At the sight and thought of this, my stomach tingles and my heart aches, though we are now or will forever be strangers.
Idling away time is called "kill time"in English. Yeah, we do kill it although we fail to see its bleeding blood. The lost time never utters a fragile word, for it is always being wordless and silent. Yet when one does feel it is fading far away, perhaps it is much too late for us to say goodbye and too late to smile a knowing smile. When the sheep are lost, we can repair the fences. When time is lost, there is nowhere to find because it has no fences around it. Time is free, and is also too easy to flee, flee our hands like a slippery loach. 08-07-13
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What to be and what to do
2008-07-03 17:58:31
What to be and what to do ?
These days I have been in a bad mood for many reasons. Why? In fact for no clear reasons. Failed in a sample class? Well-talked affction? One's own destiny? The unknown future? The long-lost kin-feelings? A lot.
When I went back to the lonely and cold dormitary, a feeling of loneness arose up from the bottom of my heart. Where am I? What am I doing ? How long can I resist in the way alone ? I have no idea. I really don't know. I wonder what to do and where to go. No aim, no consolement, no warmth, and no prospect. I'm just like an old boat on the sands, I have sails, and I have a clear route, but there is no wind blowing. I have no choice, and no short cut.
I really want to work on a further study, yes, the postgraduate study, just to flee here, to flee the unsatisfactary place now. Here I am useless and helpless, finding no use and no future. This is a magnifiscent castle, but not for me, it is not my castle. The caslte in which I am staying now is just a castle in the air for me. I even have no free air to breathe, and have no blue sky to fly. I am a brave bird, but I can’t find the sky to fly.
In the base of the heart I feel wronged, greatly wronged. I was skipped, and missed out. I was left in the one-person little station, hopeless, crying for hope but receiving no pay. Sometimes I think in the mind why I live the real life like this, and why I live my own life in this mean way.
Parents have given me the best health, the best brain, the best body and the best state.They have prepared me a steady life, no misery, no desiese, no pauvaty, and no setback. They were still the best parents in my heart and mind. But now they are gone, gone forever. When I need their help, and when I need their advice, I opened my mouth, but when I turned myself, only to find they are not beside me.
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A Lonely Night, A Lonely Hut
2008-11-18 22:31:30
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Who is not snobbish?
2008-07-20 09:53:13
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First money, or honey
2008-07-16 12:13:51
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Summer street corner
2008-07-15 12:05:11
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A fly in the ointment
2008-07-14 18:41:42
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The bar isn't far
2008-07-13 19:05:30
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What to be and what to do
2008-07-03 17:58:31